Getting over a slump
Summary
What do you do when you’re putting in the work, but nothing seems to be happening?
In this episode, I’m talking about getting through a slump, that frustrating period where you’re applying for jobs, going on dates, working toward a goal, or building something of your own, but you feel like you’re completely stuck. I share what my own slump has looked like after my TEDx Talk, when I expected all of my hard work to lead to new clients and speaking opportunities and instead found myself wondering what the hell I was doing wrong.
But here’s the thing: not getting the result you want doesn’t automatically mean you’re doing something wrong.
Sometimes you need to change your strategy. Sometimes you need to be patient. Sometimes you need to recognize all the progress you’ve made that isn’t showing up in the form of the big outcome you’re waiting for.
I also talk about why adulthood can feel so frustrating when you’re used to getting constant feedback, how to give yourself more objective feedback, why your slump can start to become part of your identity, and the questions you can ask yourself when you need to get moving again.
Because your slump doesn’t define you. And you don’t have to wait until you stop feeling disappointed to start taking action.
In This Episode We Discuss
- What a slump actually looks and feels like
- Why you can do everything “right” and still not see results
- How to know when you need to change your strategy
- Why adulthood comes with significantly less feedback than you’re used to
- Why progress isn’t always measured by the big outcome you’re waiting for
- The danger of letting a slump become part of your identity
- Questions to ask yourself when you’re feeling stuck
- Why you need to keep taking action even when you’re disappointed
- Understanding the lag between taking action and seeing results
Key Takeaways
- Not getting the result you want and doing something wrong are two very different things.
- If you keep doing the exact same thing and expecting a different result, it’s time to change your strategy.
- Adulthood comes with significantly less feedback than school, sports, and other structured environments you’re used to.
- You have to learn how to give yourself objective feedback instead of relying entirely on external validation.
- The big outcome you’re waiting for isn’t the only measure of progress or success.
- Look at what you’ve learned, who you’ve met, what you’ve improved, and what you’ve actually done.
- New strategies need time to work, so give yourself room to see the results.
- You can be frustrated, disappointed, and upset while still choosing to move forward.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a slump?
A slump is that frustrating feeling of being stuck in the same place despite putting in consistent effort toward something you want. You aren’t necessarily moving backward, but you aren’t seeing the progress you expected either.
How do I know if I’m doing something wrong or just experiencing a slump?
Look at your actions objectively. If you’ve been doing the same thing repeatedly with no results, it may be time to change your strategy. But if you’ve been consistently taking action, learning, adapting, and trying new things, the lack of an immediate result doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong.
How do I stay motivated when I’m not seeing progress?
Instead of measuring yourself exclusively by the big outcome you’re waiting for, look at what you’ve actually done. Who have you met? What have you learned? What have you improved? What actions have you taken? Those are forms of progress, too.
Why does adulthood feel like it has so little feedback?
For most of your childhood and young adulthood, you’re constantly given feedback through grades, sports, rankings, teachers, parents, and other structured systems. Once you become an adult, there isn’t a report card telling you how you’re doing. You have to learn how to create some of that feedback for yourself.
How do I stop my slump from becoming my identity?
Be careful about turning an experience into a statement about who you are. Not getting a job doesn’t mean you’re bad at getting jobs. Being single doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. A business being slow doesn’t mean you’re a bad entrepreneur. Your current circumstances are not your identity.
How long does it take to get out of a slump?
There isn’t a set timeline. Sometimes changing your strategy creates a faster result, while other times you need to allow more time for your actions to catch up. The important thing is continuing to take intentional action rather than allowing yourself to stay stuck indefinitely.
What if I’m still disappointed even after I start taking action?
You can be disappointed and still take action. You don’t have to wait until you feel positive, motivated, or confident before doing something that could improve your situation.
Related Episodes
Transcript
Getting Over a Slump
00:00
You’re listening to how to twenty something, the best podcast that helps both men and women navigate their twenties and learn how to “adult” across all aspects of their lives
We’re going to focus on career, relationships, finances, fitness, nutrition, and all of the common challenges and obstacles a typical twenty something will face in this post-college life
I’m your host, Jess Diamond, and I am the CEO and founder of Jess Diamond Coaching where I help young professionals get their shit together, gain their confidence, and own their life
No one prepares you for this adulting world so allow me to help you feel like you are no longer a chicken running around with its head cut off, and that you actually know what the hell is going on and what your next step to take is
Welcome to How To Twenty Something
00.54
Welcome back to how to twenty-something where today is all about getting over a slump
It’s that feeling of stuckness that comes when you’ve set out on this journey or to achieve a goal and you feel like you’re not moving forward or backward
You’re just where you’re at
For a long ass time
This could be when you’re applying to job after job, connecting with person after person,and you’re not getting any responses
Or going on first date after first date to no avail
Or eating healthy and working out but not losing an inch around your waist
And it’s not that you’re necessarily doing anything wrong, in fact you could be doing every 100% right and there is just nothing coming from the work you’re putting in
It’s beyond frustrating
Now, you guys know that my episodes are inspired by me, my clients, or my friends
And this episode is 100% about me and a wall I’ve been hitting pretty much ever since I gave my tedx talk
I went into the talk with the assumption that it would bring me clients and speaking engagements
That my business would be overflowing and wonderful
So when literally nothing has come from this talk, and my business has felt like it’s stalled, you better believe I hit my slump
My 2026 started out so strong and now that there are less than 3 months left of the year, I can tell you that the strength and abundance that this year began with, disappeared as quickly as it showed up
At the time of me writing this episode, I’ve been meeting new people, getting connected with staff at different Universities, networking, putting myself out there
And nothing
Even though I know I’m sending amazing emails, following up, talking to people about what I do, extending invitations… doing the things I know I need to do… just like you with your applications, connection requests, dates, and healthy meals
Sometimes the energy just freezes, and you stay at this steady level that makes you want to gouge your eyeballs out
Slumps don’t mean you’re bad at what you’re doing, or that you messed up, or that you should call a quits
Sometimes they mean the timing just isn’t right or that you need to change up your strategies
For me, that looks like working with new people on my business, learning from new groups, interacting with new people
Updating my circle of influence to not only expand my reach, but expand my knowledge too
So let’s dive into what you can do to get over this slump as I try to help myself get over mine
Because the first thing I want to point out is probably your first thought: what am I doing wrong
Since here you are putting in the work and it is really hard to keep doing so and keep going when the evidence that you’re making progress has disappeared
And not seeing results and doing something wrong aren’t always interchangeable which is why i began this episode with saying there’s a good chance you’re not doing anything wrong
Now, if you’re in the boat of doing the same thing over and over again with no result ever and yet expecting a different result, then yeah stop doing that, that’s the literal definition of insanity per albert einstein
So definitely start to change up your strategy
If you’re only applying to jobs online, try meeting someone in that career field first
If you’re sending linkedin request after linkedin request, try going somewhere in person and shaking hands with someone
If you’re only going on first dates from dating apps, try approaching someone in real life or going somewhere new.. Scary I know
But changing your tactics are scary
You just have to decide what’s scarier: staying where you are and encourage this slump or try something new and give yourself the chance to get over this slump
It’s why I changed my center of influence.. I’m hoping that by doing so I’m given results versus staying exactly where I am
Now, if you’re making changes, trying new strategies and nothing is happening, then I still want to emphasize nothing is wrong
You’re not doing anything wrong.
You’re just not getting the result… yet.
And those are two VERY different things.
Because I think we’ve gotten so used to immediate feedback that when we don’t see a result, we assume something must be broken.
You apply for a job and don’t hear back, so you assume your resume sucks.
You ask someone on a date and they say no, so you assume something is wrong with you.
You work out for six weeks and don’t see the physical changes you expected, so you assume your workouts aren’t working.
You send 20 emails and don’t get a response, so you assume your offer isn’t good.
And sometimes those things DO mean you need to change something.
But sometimes they don’t.
Sometimes you’re just in the really annoying middle part where you have done the work, but the result hasn’t caught up yet.
And I think that’s one of the hardest parts of being an adult.
You don’t always get feedback.
You spent the first 18-22 years of your life constantly being told where you land on a scale
Where you placed in sports, what grades you got in school, what you parents said to you
Feedback was everywhere
And now you’re searching for it when 1. It’s not nearly as common and 2. You have to provide a lot of it for yourself
There is no report card for life.. You might have some end of year reviews and mid year reviews, but that’s basically it
Nobody is grading you anymore. Which sounds great until you realize you actually liked knowing how you were doing.
When it comes to dating or weightloss or a new job, there is not direct and immediate feedback
Which bring me back to giving yourself feedback as objectively as possible
That looks like making a list of what you can do to change your circumstances
For me, that is starting to look like conducting an in person workshop and asking people to directly connect me with colleges and universities
It’s writing down everything I need to do.. Even the things I don’t want to do… because I know that my list keeps me accountable and gives me feedback that I’m doing things week after week
Where even if there is no immediate results, I still know within myself that I’m doing what I need to do
Because I know that if I measure my success based on my tedx talk, in terms of views and opportunities, I’m going to feel like a complete and utter failure
No new clients, no one bought my course, no one asked me to speak
I gave that talk at the very end of March and it was released in June
But I did meet new people, some of whom I’ve paid to work with or be in their groups, I created an absolutely phenomenal talk, received a standing ovation in a room of 400 people, and gave a freaking tedxtalk
So I guess that’s another part of getting over the slump; recognize the shit you’ve done
Just because you didn’t achieve the biggest outcome you’re hoping for… yet.. Doesn’t mean you have nothing to show for your hardwork
Think of the conversations you wouldn’t have had if you didn’t reach out to someone new
Think of the experiences you would have missed out on if you decided to take no action
The big outcome you’re waiting for isn’t the only measure of progress or success
Look at what’s changed in the last 6 months
What have you learned
Who are you meeting
What have you improved on
That’s your progress
And if you look back over the last 6 months and genuinely don’t have much to show for it, well, maybe that’s some really useful feedback too.
You’re not doing anything!!!
For example, over the last 6 months, I’ve met countless new people, had about 10 1:1 networking calls to deepen my relationships, attended new events, talked to people I already knew and brought up something I remembered about them, joined two networking groups and a group to help my speaking business, I applied to stages, grew my linkedin, posted to tiktok, got more specific with my instagram posts
I mean the lists go on
Even just acknowledging the work I have done right here, right now, is helping me feel a bit better about my slump
So while yes, my business feels crappy in terms of not generating new clients regularly and basically surviving on renewals, and no one has asked me to speak, it doesn’t mean I’m a failure, it doesn’t mean my business isn’t working or my idea is terrible, it doesn’t mean I’m not cut out to be an entrepreneur
It means that my strategy needs to change and that in and of itself takes time to start eliciting the results of the work i’m putting in
If you don’t like the answers life’s giving you, then maybe it’s time to start asking different questions
Instead of veering towards the negative questions like what’s wrong with me, why isn’t this working, why does my life suck.. Questions that keep you in your slump
Start asking newer questions:
Who haven’t I talk to
What’s in my control
What haven’t I tried yet – yes even if it sounds scary or like a lot of work
Those questions will move you forward
I’m not sitting here pretending that I’m thrilled with where things are.
I’m not.
I want more clients.
I want speaking engagements.
I want my TEDx talk to reach more people.
I want my business to grow.
I want the things I’ve been working toward to actually happen.
And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with admitting that.
But I also can’t sit here and decide that because those things haven’t happened yet, nothing is happening.
And neither should you
Because the longer you sit in a slump the more it creeps into your identity
And trust me I’ve experienced this first hand
Prior to meeting Ryan, I was single for nearly 3.5 years and went on many failed first dates and right before we met I deemed myself unloveable
I had a full mental breakdown about it
My inability to land a relationship meant I was someone who was not worthy of being in a relationship
Or when I couldn’t land a job out of school, my story was I’m bad at getting jobs, no one wants to hire me
We all have a habit of taking something that is happening and turning it into who we are
But your slump doesn’t define you
You’re just letting it overtake all your thoughts and turn them into your reality
Because remember, I haven’t said this quote in a while, but your beliefs create your experiences and your experiences confirm your beliefs
And when your slump is driving those beliefs, you’re treading some dangerous waters my friend
You have to be willing to keep going without knowing when it’s going to end
Even though there is no guarantee that the outcome you’re after is the outcome you’ll get
And that sucks
Truthfully
Be mad about it
And then do something about it
Maybe it’s that new strategy, maybe it’s a new conversation, maybe it’s patience, maybe it’s faith trust and pixie dust
I don’t know
But what I can tell you, is you’re not going to overcome this slump by continuing to allow yourself to sit in it
It’s on you to decide when you’re going to stand up and to really decide that you don’t want to stay in this slump
Because that’s what I’m trying to do for myself
And i can spiral, be disappointed, upset, and frustrated all while I take action to move forward, try something new, and see what results it brings me
So just know that you absolutely should not wait to stop feeling disappointed before you start taking action, because there is always something you can do to try to improve things
And then recognize that there is a lag effect that occurs, where you need to give this new thing time to see if it gives you results
And that is how i’m going to end this episode of how to twenty-something
So if you liked what you heard, learned something new, or know someone who is in a slump and needs to hear this episode, then please share it
Post it to your story, send it to a friend, give me five stars, just please do something to help me reach all the twenty-somethings in this world navigating the most confusing decade of their life
And as always I can’t wait to be in your headphones again next week with another brand new episode