Summary
Episode 25 of How To Twenty-Something brings on one of my clients, Julia Watkins, where she provides insight into wedding planning and married life. During this episode we uncover religious differences coming together, prioritizing yourself for your wedding, what changes after the wedding is over, how your career fits in with your family, and how to keep your marriage happy and healthy.
Key Takeaways:
- The balancing act with planning a wedding with different religions or cultures
- Finding neutral ground and compromise before the marriage even begins
- Pick and choose your battles
- Your parents marriage, or lack thereof, will determine the insecurities that arise in your marriage
- Give your partner options to make decisions as a team
- The value life coaching has on your life and relationships
How do we plan a wedding when our families have different religious backgrounds?
Expect some tension, even when both sides share the same religion, because families do things differently and money and deadlines raise the stress. Hire a neutral planner who can also help you through family dynamics. Pick a venue and ceremony style you’re both comfortable with, then weave in a nod to each side, like a reading, a tradition, or who walks you down the aisle. If family is helping pay, tell them early what matters most to you. Stay flexible too, since weather and last-minute changes happen.
What actually changes after you get married?
Often it’s your mindset more than your daily life. Before marriage, it’s tempting to try to fix your partner’s little habits. Afterward, you get more selective about which battles are worth having. Ask yourself if something is worth a fight or if you can let it go to protect the relationship. Living together before the wedding can also help you know what you’re signing up for.
How do I get my partner to help make decisions instead of saying "I don't care"?
Try offering three options. They can be silly or unrealistic, since the point is to start a conversation. Your partner will usually react (“definitely not that one”), which shows you what they want, and you can narrow it down together from there. It works for dinner, trips, and bigger plans. Make sure it goes both ways so one person isn’t always the planner.
Related Episodes
Ep. 115 Is it time to move in together? With Mylira Green
Ep. 126 Are they the one or is it time to run? with Rebecca Williams
Ep. 3 Using Effective Communication To Your Benefit
Ep. 19 The YOU in Your Relationship