It depends on distance and how much furniture you have — for shorter moves, a friend with a truck or a rented U-Haul can be much cheaper than hiring full movers, while budget options like TaskRabbit or Fiverr help if you need extra hands. For long-distance moves, it’s worth crunching the numbers on whether selling your furniture and buying new versus renting a truck actually saves you money.

Moving to a new city

Welcome back to another episode of how to twenty-something with today’s episode actually being a recommendation from one of you and that is what you need to do, and even who you need to be, when you move to a new city

As you grow through your twenties it is very possible that you are going to pick up all of your belongings and move somewhere new

Whether that be a new city, a new state, or even a new country, you are bound to relocate at some point during this decade

It could be directly out of school, a desire for a change of scenery, a new job offer, moving to be with the person you love, family reasons, anything

Literally any reason or cause that results in you packing your bags, loading up a vehicle, and moving your entire life to a different location

Regardless of the reason, how you show up for yourself prior to your move and once you unpack and settle in will be quite similar

So this episode is designed to help you get your mind right about what actions you need to take and perspectives you need to develop in order to make this transition a lot easier on yourself

Because chances are, you’re moving to a city where you don’t know many people and the best way to make a city feel like home is to build up your community

Now, I’ve done several making friends episodes so this is definitely part of it, but there is more that comes with a relocation

There’s planning and researching and organizing and searching for what you like to do and leaving your comfort zone that all comes with this transition

I have personally experienced two major adult moves in my twenties: the first one was to Orlando, Florida after college because I got a job 

And the second one was to Charlotte, North Carolina which was a move for me because I felt so stuck in Orlando after the pandemic and was ready for a new adventure and to get the hell out of Florida

There are a lot of differences between my two moves where the one to Orlando I didn’t have a single friend in the city, adulting was so new to me, and it was the last place I wanted to live

The second was to go join my best friend, at the time, because he had all these friends in Charlotte and looked like he was having a blast so I figured hey why not and I always wanted out of Florida and to eventually end up in North Carolina because the weather gives you seasons but not the extremes

Plus it was with this decision that I also knew I was leaving corporate america behind to pursue my coaching business

There were differences in my schedule, my surroundings, my ability to just go home if I wanted to, my finances, my mindset, literally everything was different but the desire to have fun in my twenties and build up my community were the same

So let’s get into the pre-move prep work, cost effective moving tactics, and how to start your life in your new city so you can call it home in no time

For starters, you need to research the different neighborhoods in the area and know what you’re looking for.. Hopefully this one is obvious for you but there is more to consider with the neighborhood you’re choosing

Do you want it to be walkable, safe, surrounded by people your own age, what’s your rent budget, do you need to find a roommate or two

How do you want to go about finding a roommate? I’ve used facebook groups when I live in orlando and the people you meet are pretty hit or miss

Where is your apartment or house in relation to your work, if you’re in office? How far of a commute are you willing to do? Is public transit important to you? Will you need access to a car?

My first job out of school was in the very very outskirts of Orlando so I made some sacrifices like a longer commute to be able to live in a walkable, younger area

I also barely made any money, I think my gross income for my first job was something like 38k if not less so I knew I needed roommates

I found a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment just north of downtown orlando and quickly found two girls to move in with since I had about a week to get all my ducks in a row before I moved

Then when I moved to Charlotte, I didn’t have a commute to consider anymore, but I still wanted my area to be walkable with restaurants, nightlife, a gym, and the grocery store and I wanted to be around other young professionals

Lucky for me, Charlotte is filled with different neighborhoods that hold these requirements, but i didn’t take my own advice and research these areas because my friend told me everyone who’s anyone lives in one particular area

And while this area is filled with young people it is primarily filled with the younger side of twenty-somethings

And now I do have a work commute to one of my gyms and want to live a reasonably close distance

So i already made the decision that I’ll be at my apartment for one more year and then explore a different area to move to with a slightly older crowd

While still knowing I want my area to be walkable, safe, and quiet.. Heavy on the quiet

Regardless, of what area or requirements you want for where you’re moving to you need to go tour the place before signing any lease

See the state of the apartment building like if there’s trash around or weird smells, even the leasing office people should make you feel comfortable

I was considering moving this year and I toured an apartment where the leasing agent made me feel so rushed that I hated my experience and immediately knew I did not want to move there

Anyways, once you know where you’re moving to and when you can move, it’s time to figure out the logistics of what you are bringing with you versus buying there and how you are planning on transporting everything

This can vary based on your moving budget and there are definitely cost effective ways to move

For example, if it’s your first adult apartment you can probably pack all of your belongings into a car and then have furniture delivered to your new place

That’s what I did with my original move to Orlando and then when I moved to a different apartment still in Orlando, I had a friend with a truck who helped me go back and forth with my big furniture items so my moving costs were nothing

I offered to pay him for gas and buy him lunch but he denied both

Then when I moved from Orlando to Charlotte, my biggest move to date, I rented a Uhaul and loaded up my big items and drove it by myself

Which is terrifying that they just handed me the keys to a truck and were like cool good luck

But I made it in one piece and then my friend in Charlotte helped me unload everything once I arrived

I think renting the uhaul for an out of state move was around $800 with gas and everything but it was the most cost effective way for me to transport everything since I have a nice bedroom set that i wasn’t willing to give up

So usually if you have one or two friends you can move without the help of movers, if you’re okay with the work effort required to load and unload a truck

Of course you can always higher movers, there’s even cheaper alternatives on places like task rabbit or fiverr so you’re not losing an arm and a leg as you embark on this new adventure

Then there are all of the startup costs of living somewhere new to consider as well, like restocking your cabinets, fridge, and pantry, paying for the rest of that month’s rent and security deposit and anything else that comes with living somewhere new

Moving isn’t cheap, but it doesn’t have to break the bank

I’ve even had friends sell all of their furniture and buy relatively cheap and new items after they moved which is definitely an avenue to take

I think with that scenario you’re going to want to crunch the numbers of what is going to be easier and more cost effective, knowing that selling your current furniture isn’t going to go for as much as you originally bought it for

So asking yourself if you’re losing money on selling it for far less than what you purchased it for plus the cost of buying new items versus renting a truck

If you’re moving across the country it might make more sense to sell it all but I was moving a few states north so it made more sense to keep my bedroom set and rent a uhaul 

Let’s fast forward now to move in day 

Once you move and get all unpacked and are ready to begin your life in your new city it’s time to explore, start making friends, and getting familiar and comfortable with your new environment

This is where it gets repetitive with making friends in your twenties

Because regardless of if you’re brand new to a city or in need of new adult friends, it’s going to come down to the same tactics

You need to find what you enjoy doing and then find groups or other people that also take part in those activities

I was having a conversation recently with a 21 year old girl who moved to Charlotte about six months ago and her parents live an hour away

She told me that she hasn’t really made any friends and goes home every weekend and while it might seem obvious to you that her going home is preventing her from making friends, she didn’t realize how she was unintentionally self sabotaging her transition into adulting

She mentioned she wanted to get back into reading, so then we spoke about finding a book club to join so you can read on your own but still make it something social with a very low commitment

So just make sure that whatever hobby you’re wanting to get into or pick back up has the opportunity to involve other people

You can look up things on instagram as most major cities have social media accounts listing off things going on that week or weekend

You can join facebook groups with the demographic you’re looking to meet and search for groups or events in them

You can start your own thing like how I started my self help book club and posted in a facebook group called charlotte girls in their twenties and this book club is still in existence over a year and a half later 

You can look up meetup or I recently found out about something called skillpop which are little one off classes you can take that range from painting to developing skills – that might be only in charlotte though

Although I’m sure there’s something similar in other cities

You can join a group fitness style gym and talk to people

Even networking events, although I honestly don’t think those are the best ways to meet people because of how inconsistent it is

A better option would be to join a sports league or something that lasts six weeks so you are seeing the same people at the same time for the same reason on a consistent basis

Like how I’ve mentioned on a few episodes that I joined an improv group where we met once a week for 6 weeks and by the fifth week me and two other members got food together and then went to see an improv show

I’m not in touch much with these people now but it was a good opportunity to be around new people and see them every week for a set time period

When I was in orlando, I joined a kickball league as a way to meet more people and I met some of the best most supportive people even though covid abruptly stopped the season from completing 

But what I’m getting at is it’s being open to new experiences and not leaving every weekend so you can actually build up your community in your new city 

When I first moved to charlotte I called it my year of yes where I was going to say yes to anything I was invited to that I didn’t completely loathe

Or that cost a ton of money since I was newly self employed

I didn’t do this when I first moved to orlando because I was under the assumption that making friends in a city would be just like in high school and college

And boy was I wrong.. It’s a whole different ball game out here

You go from constantly being surrounded by people your own age give or take 2 or 3 years to entering a different world where you’re surrounded by anyone between the ages of 22 and 60 something

I have to help my clients with this realization when they first graduate and say they are wanting to find friends their own age and I tell them age doesn’t mean anything anymore.. It’s who you relate to the most, who makes you feel seen and supported, who you have things in common with

One of my closest friends right now is 38 and we joke about her being a decade older than me but we get along well 

I think of her sometimes as my older sister and come to her for boy advice and life advice and she also comes to me with her problems – it’s a very supportive and open friendship

It’s definitely a weird life lesson to learn but you realize how unimportant someone’s age is once you graduate college and get more adjusted to adulting

You’re groomed your whole life into believing that your friends need to be around your age and while choosing where to move to might be determined by that factor, it is not the end all be all to meeting new people and building up your sense of community in your new city 

The good news when it comes to moving to a city, is that a lot of other people are also new to that city

I think there’s a statistic that 100 new people move to Charlotte every day

We are known as a transplant city, but I feel like most big cities are transplant cities 

Which means everyone is looking for their own friends and to start their life in their new city

I know the day i moved to charlotte I went to a singles event that my neighbor, who I had briefly met, invited me to

And while there everyone immediately asks each other how long have you been in charlotte

My response was like oh an hour and that got some wild reactions because I literally unloaded my car and went out to this event

Mind you, I had already brought my uhaul up and slightly unpacked about two weeks prior

But my official move was that day

And now I ask other people that question and for this city in particular, most answers are less than a year 

So yeah big cities have a lot of new people all looking to get adjusted and settled as quickly as possible 

But other than researching where to move to, being as cost effective as you want to be with the moving process, getting settled in, and branching out to events in your new city; I want to help you adjust your expectations 

This is the mindset part

Making friends takes time, feeling at home takes time, this is a massive adjustment and a process that cannot be rushed

But don’t give up, yes there will be times where you feel discouraged or that this is taking too long or why bother trying it’ll never happen for you

It’s going to feel uncomfortable going up to someone who looks friendly and striking up a conversation, or exploring the layout of your new gym, or learning the best route to take to work so you’re not late

But this discomfort and feeling discouraged are part of this experience

It’ll help you grow and learn the ropes for when you go to move again later on in life

Moving is as exciting as much as it is terrifying – you get to reinvent yourself, your image, and who you want to be with none of the baggage or stigmas of your past shining through 

It’s healthy for you to move away from your family and the people you’ve known since before puberty because while those people have your best interest at heart, they also keep you stuck in that time period of your life

They see you for the past you, where present you offers so many other things

It’s why when you return home and are with your siblings and/or parents you all of a sudden resort back to 16 year old you when you know you’re so much more than that and more mature than that

It’s a weird phenomenon that happens, but I’m telling you this because while it is scary to leave behind everyone and everything you once knew for all of the unknowns, it is so crucial to your growth as a young adult

Besides, you can always decide to move back later on 

Just because you said yes to moving to a new city, doesn’t mean it has to be your forever city

I don’t know if I’ll be in Charlotte for forever, I do know I will not ever move back to Orlando or South Florida, but moving is part of life

You’ll even find that you’re going to outgrow certain cities based on different experiences

For me I outgrew Orlando because the pandemic made me feel trapped and I had to get out if I wanted to pursue my business

For my friend Sam, Charlotte no longer served her and her personality.. She outgrew her work and her experiences here

So just know that bouncing around is perfectly normal and eventually you will find a place to settle down for a longer period of time, but your twenties are made for this level of exploration 

And now as I wrap up this episode you know the mindset and the steps required to make moving to a new city as seamless as possible

And to feel normal in your experiences, fears, doubts, and path

But this does conclude another episode of how to twenty-something.. If you liked what you heard, if you are planning on moving to a new city this year or just moved to a new city, if you know someone who is about to as well then please pass this episode along

Share it with a friend, post it to your story on social media, tell me what you thought about it, literally anything that lets me know you’re out there listening 

And as always, i can’t wait to be in your headphones again next week with another brand new episode