Living in the moment vs planning for your future

Welcome back to how to twenty-something where today I’m going to be talking all about what it means to live in the moment while planning for your future

I know the episode title says versus but I think that’s where most people get it wrong

I think it’s possible to do both, to create a balance and know when and where it’s appropriate to live in the moment and when you’re better for planning for your future

And that’s what I am going to be discussing today: the difference between the two and how they can work together so you don’t feel like a chicken running around with it’s head cut off 95% of the time

Or have the feeling like you have no idea what you’re doing with your life

Which brings me to remind you that if you want to get started on how to properly adult in the best way possible, then go ahead and head to the show notes and click auditing quiz or to jessdiamondcoaching.com/adulting so you can download my free pdf that will help you see how well you’re adulting or in other words assess your adulting success

It consists of 15 statements that you will rate how well you consistently carry them out and then add up your total to see where you land on the adulting scale plus some helpful tips to improve the lagging areas right away

But I created it with you in mind, it’s the foundation you should have on a weekly basis so you can confidently exist in your life and plan for the future, so go download it

But, back on topic, in my coaching practice I preach the term ‘think with your future self in mind’ which is an ideology I probably didn’t make up, but I have no idea where it stemmed from other than my own brain

And what it means is that every decision, every action you take right now, in this moment, is going to impact your future self in some way

And that future you could be ten minutes from now, ten days, ten weeks, months or years

And rather than terrify you into making no decisions at the risk of hurting future you, we set up systems to help future you instead

For example, at the time of me planning this episode, I texted one of my friends, who was coming over to catch up before we went to book club, and I told her I’m doing a mini meal prep right now

To set the scene it was a friday evening and I explained that Sunday me needed a couple of things done today because I knew I would not have any time to do it on Saturday

That is thinking with future me in mind

The future me that I was taking care of in that moment was less than 48 hours away, but I can also argue that making my mini meal prep, which consisted of hard boiling eggs and roasting potatoes, was also thinking with longevity jess in mind, the me that exists 48 years from now

I want to take care of my body so it can do everything I want it to do for decades to come and part of that begins with making sure I have an easy breakfast to grab and go because I was working both days that weekend at one of my gyms so my weekend morning could not be spent leisurely moving around

I also think with my future self in mind when it comes to these episodes, I don’t like feeling stressed so I make sure that I am about a month ahead of myself, if not more, when it comes to planning and recording

Like I’m planning this episode out in the middle of September and I know that you won’t hear this until the end of October

The way I help my clients step into this ideology is when we talk about their routines

I help them create a nighttime routine and explain that everything you’re doing at night is to make morning you have an easier start to the day

What makes it easier to wake up in the morning? A good night’s sleep

What lets you have a good night’s sleep? A good nighttime routine that calms your body and brain down from the day

Your nighttime routine exists for good sleep so your morning routine can happen and you can have a successful rest of the day

That is thinking for your future self that is still within reach, that you can benefit from immediately, thereby encouraging you to apply this principle to the version of you that exists even further into the future

It stems from planning ahead, thinking your actions through before even taking that action rather than scrambling to clean up the mess of your thoughtlessness

When it comes to living in the moment, I think it’s possible to learn how to enjoy whatever experience you’re having right now while also being smart about how you want your future self to feel

This definitely comes more into play with night outs, drinking alcohol, celebrating someone or something, and under the overarching umbrella of partying

Because after all, your twenties are a time for partying and having fun, right?

But they are also a time to set the foundation for the rest of your adult life, solely because this is going to be the easiest, most free time that you will ever have to put certain systems in place

Those systems are your habits that will make later adult you, and frankly, current adult you, have a much easier life

Where I see a lot of twenty-somethings go horribly wrong in their day to day is when they say that’s a tomorrow problem or a monday problem

In other words, I see so many twenty-somethings push all of their troubles and worries on to future them

And I know a lot of the time you’re joking around or it’s with something that you feel is miniscule, but what you’re subconsciously doing is creating a habit that encourages this kind of thinking

And how we do one thing is how we do everything, so yeah maybe it’s a work email that you received on a Friday afternoon right now, but what could be next is the saturday night version of you, the impulsive purchase on amazon version of you, the tiny bad habits that you’re accruing that are going to fuck over future you

Because what’s actually happening is by doing that you’re making future you ill equipped to handle those problems rationally because you’re putting yourself in a bad mental state right now that will carry over to future you

Living in the moment requires you to also plan for your future, it’s a both and situation, not an either or

And I know what you’re thinking, “but Jess, YOLO came around in high school and that’s still my life motto today”

To which I will respond back with, “yes you do only live once, but wouldn’t you rather your one chance at life be filled with experiences that result in enjoyment that requires planning and executing efficiently?”

I realize that does not sound as glamorous as “fuck it, yolo” but I’m here to stick it to you straight

And unfortunately, living life by the seat of your pants will catch up with you, you need to learn how to plan ahead so you can move through life with a lot more ease and direction instead of chaos and confusion

But let’s dive into what each of these concepts are on their own and then how you can work to intertwine them

When you live in the moment you are being fully present in what’s happening, you are simply existing, enjoying, developing a memory and not letting your thoughts or worries get the best of you

It fosters mindfulness, reduces stress, and let’s you appreciate experiences as they occur

Living in the moment increases your levels of happiness because you are focusing only on what’s in front of you instead of some futuristic outcome that may or may not happen

The downside to living in the moment is impulsivity, instability, and a lack of long term fulfillment because you are failing to consider future possible scenarios or outcomes based on the decisions you’re making by being in the moment

When you live in the moment and jump from one moment to the next you make a decision based on how you’re feeling right then and there with zero thought as to how it might impact you financially, amongst relationships, career or reputation wise, and all other important factors that align with your values, goals, and aspirations

People who live in the moment tend to throw out their better judgment that is trying to succeed down the line

I personally feel like people who live too much in the moment have a right now mentality and suffer with delayed gratification

Planning or waiting for something to play out is undesirable because it requires patience and society has trained us to get what we want on a moments notice

It’s why I made an episode on patience earlier this year

Living in the moment invites spontaneity or spur of the moment decisions that is not helpful when it comes to laying the foundation that is the rest of your adult life

Sure there are moments where it is beneficial for you to do so, but I would argue that this is not an everyday scenario or even an every week scenario

I want you to think about your life in a bigger picture where most of the time you’re living in order, you know what you need to do, where you need to be, and the direction you’re heading and then every now and then some kind of surprise pops in

So about 90% of your life is chill it’s orderly and then 10% is filled with pizzazz

This level of living in the moment is different than a practice you can do daily, so I don’t want to confuse

The 10% I just referred to is the spontaneity

The living in the moment that is healthy on a regular basis is the practice of being present and not worrying about your past mistakes or future outcomes

On the flip side, when you plan for the future, you are giving yourself a sense of direction, the ability to create and actually achieve goals you are setting out on, and your level of uncertainty about yourself and your life goes down since you’re creating a roadmap 

That roadmap could be for your career, finances, personal growth, relationships, and overall plan for the future you want to step into, again looping it back to thinking with your future self in mind

But, just like living in the moment, planning for the future does have it’s downside

Over-planning lets in a ton of anxiety that comes with unknowns and disappointment if you’re not sticking to the path you planned for yourself to be on

Planning too much or too far ahead takes away from the joy in the present moment or the ability to be spontaneous

Which I for one am a planner, and I know this, I can be spontaneous as long as it doesn’t negatively interfere with my future self

Like, let’s say it’s saturday night and I get invited to go on a day trip tomorrow that will take up my entire sunday

If I didn’t have my client workouts already written, food prepared for the week ahead or at least through tuesday, and laundry done, then I would not be able to step into that spontaneous decision to go on a day trip

Unless, and emphasis on the unless, I knew I would 100% have the energy to get some of that to do list done on sunday either before leaving for the hike or when I return

It’s also why I do like to get most of my weekend checklist done on Fridays or Saturday mornings so I could lean into the more spontaneous side of things, but again it doesn’t come without planning

Planning for your future does require goals, regularly checking in and possibly adjusting said goals, and breaking down what you hope to achieve into manageable steps

It requires you to have a calendar, I prefer a written one or a whiteboard one so you can see how your month is being laid out and then how your week and then by the day

It’s being organized and on top of your schedule so you know where you have the time and space to invite in the spur of the moment parts of life

It’s having and enforcing boundaries around your time, your peace, your energy, and your schedule and unapologetically sticking to them

It’s being an adult who has a fully developed prefrontal cortex, meaning there is a great deal of maturity that comes with planning for your future or thinking with your future self in mind

And no, that does not excuse you from being able to do this for yourself if you are under the age of 25

Living in the moment definitely sounds like it directly opposes or interferes with planning for the future but, like everything in life, there is a balance

It comes with learning how to be flexible, resilient, and developing a strategy that suits you the best

And shameless plug, but if this is something you struggle with and you know your weak point is planning ahead, then please please please click the let’s chat link in the show notes, this is biggest thing I help my twenty-something clients with because it is crucial to your success and a lot of times no one taught you how to do this

But like I was saying, the balance between the two can feel tricky or contradictory, however, if done correctly, it can lead to more fulfillment in all areas of your life

I’ve already mentioned that you should be setting clear, manageable goals; 

I also mentioned that you’re going to need to have good time management and be organized around your time and calendar 

This means having your future focused tasks and plans outlined as well as activities that allow for you to be present

Activities like hobbies, sports, socializing, learning a new skill because you have to be present in order to excel at the task at hand

And most of all plan ahead, but don’t overplan

Remember we’re promoting balance so you want to have a vision of the direction you’re heading but not a step by step plan or even exact timeline because sometimes, if not most of the time, life does not go according to plan

It’s why I’ve mentioned and will continue to mention on this podcast that setting quarterly goals with a yearly vision is the way to go

And even then, staying flexible and adaptable to any situation at hand is going to help you stay the course of the future you’re working towards

So when a hiccup comes your way, because it will, you don’t fall completely off track but adjust accordingly and get right back to your center

It’s a balance of being focused and playful

The focus is what are you doing today that is helping future you or what can you do today to help you get where you want to go

The playful is what helps you stay in the moment and enjoy where you’re at right now

But at the end of the day, it all really boils down to making decisions and taking actions that align with who you are to your core

That’s the trick, stay true to who you are, what you want, and how you want to be perceived by others and you’ll naturally create a recipe of balance that allows you to live in the moment and plan for the future

It’s a level of awareness that needs to be practiced otherwise you’ll default into your impulsive side and continue to screw future you over

This comes into play especially with your finances and your health

Being on top of how much money you’re bringing in and how much you’re spending on a monthly basis so you don’t overspend on things that don’t really matter and aren’t making your life better in the grand scheme of things

It’s eating mostly whole foods so you have the energy to lean into your spontaneous side

It’s going to the gym and moving your body so you can take part in activities that you love for as long as you want

Those activities help you stay present in the moment and what you do outside of those activities are helping plan for the you ten years from now who still wants to go play ultimate frisbee on Sundays

Remember if you fail to plan, you plan to fail

And I know you don’t want to fail, I don’t want you to fail

So if there is anything I want you to walk away with from this episode it’s to stop saving all your troubles for future you

Let future you be able to thank the you that’s here right now because you showed up, because you thought ahead, because you stayed in control

It’s crucial for you to learn the art of balance both sides of the spectrum and identifying where and when it’s appropriate to lean more on one side than the other

I love being able to thank past me for an action I did and I want you to get to that place as well

But on that note, this does conclude another episode of how to twenty-something, if you liked what you heard, if you know someone who needs to hear this message then please share this podcast, post it on social media send it to a friend, do something to help me expand my reach

And as always, I can’t wait to be in your headphones again next week with another brand new episode