Get out of Groundhog Day

Welcome back to another episode of how to twenty-something where today I’m going to bring to light a very common experience and realization in early adulthood and that is feeling like you are living the same day over and over again

This concept of groundhog day was introduced by the movie groundhog day where the main character relives the same day until he learns valuable life lessons and changes his ways

Your version of groundhog day is more related to living on a conveyor belt of life where you wake up go to work, work out, eat dinner, go to sleep and do it all again the next day and then go crazy on the weekends to try to balance out the regimented week day life that you’ve created for yourself

I’ve mentioned several times now that by the end of my first or second week of adulting, I took a look at my life and thought “wait, this is it? This is what I’ve spent the last 17 years of schooling to achieve? There’s no way” 

I also thought, how are people okay with this? Living the same exact day over and over and over again for forty years straight

I certainly wasn’t okay with it, but I figured maybe something was wrong with me and this is just what adulting is, so I need to suck it up and show up to work every day

Afterall, everyone in my family before me had been living this lifestyle and seemed fine with it and my friends who started adulting a few months before me talked about loving this experience and actually having money now

So I felt like the odd man out who was lost and confused about what my life had to offer

Which is funny when you think about because to some extent all of your primary years of schooling are built in this structure you just also happen to have more opportunities to get involved in extracurriculars

You also thought nothing of it until you went to college and you were a lot more time freedom and then expected to get right back to this strict schedule after a four year hiatus

I say it all the time I think high school prepares you a lot better for the adulting world and college gives you this false sense of reality and adulting and responsibilities so it’s a very rude awakening when you have to back to this way of living

It wasn’t until I lost my job and accidentally found my own passion that helped me get out of that mindset and then quite literally get out of the 9-5 life

Losing my job initially put me in a different type of conveyor belt groundhog day that was a lot more depressing, but it did teach me some valuable lessons that I now help my clients create within their own lives and successfully supports me through my entrepreneur lifestyle as well

I know a lot of you listening don’t ever plan on leaving the corporate world, which is perfectly fine as I would not encourage anyone to be an entrepreneur unless it was their full passion

Because trust me, the stress and mental breakdowns are not worth it if you don’t absolutely love what you’re building

However, I also know that you don’t want to feel like you are living the same day over and over again and feel as though you’re stuck in your own version Groundhog day

So I’m going to talk to you today about how to get out of that mentality and switch things up in your life to invite curiosity and play in

And, as a result, break free from your own conveyor belt

To begin, I feel as though this vicious cycle and realization happens twice a year for a majority of the population: one is right after the holidays and the other is during the Summer

Right after the holidays, all of the excitement of the previous two months dies down and everything levels out, there isn’t much to look forward to, travel has died down, your bank accounts are hurting a little, and the sun is setting at 4pm so Groundhog Day or wintertime blues really kicks up and is in full effect

Add in that it’s cold and your motivation to do anything else after work completely diminishes

Then as the weather starts to get warmer and the time changes you kind of forget your misery from the previous three months

The second time catches you more off guard and it’s when that first sunny 90 degree day hits in the Summer and maybe in your early twenties you’re still feeling excited, but then by mid to late twenties you realize wait Summer isn’t all that great

You’re constantly sweating getting to and from work, and while yes the days are longer so you can get an evening walk in or go to a social event, your life really hasn’t changed that much

I will say, most people feel more productive after work because the sun is still high up in the sky, so I want to help you use that existing motivation towards a piece of your life that is wanting to be more nourished that you can then take with you into the winter time

I know a lot of people follow the natural cycle of the seasons where they are out and about in the summer and essentially go hibernate in the winter

And while I want to emphasize the importance of slowing down so you aren’t so go go go all the time and burn yourself out by the time you’re 27, I also want to bring to light that your winter time seasonal depression is escalated by your decision to hide out and only work and workout during those cold winter months

There is a certain balance as you move from one week to the next that you can create so you don’t fully hibernate in the winter or overly exert yourself in the Summer

But let’s start with why this is happening in the first place

I was talking with one of my clients recently and she’s 24 so this is her second summer of adulting, and she brought up how frustrating it is that she has to keep working during the summer time

We talked about what’s actually going on and it’s really to no fault of her own

It’s actually a pretty messed up part of society, where your entire life you go to school, are told to work hard in the fall, then have two weeks off in winter for the holidays, then work really hard in spring, have end of year exams, and then have two months off for summer

Fast forward to adulting and there are no more designated breaks or multiple week stretches off at time

The only time off you get now is holidays and your own pto

And if your job was anything like my second job out of school, your pto is not great and it has to be requested off well in advance to get approved

Even though most of us book the trip and then request the days off

But basically there are no more breaks, only long weekends

Now you’ve gone from being taught to work hard in chunks and have time off, to the very rude awakening of continuous work for forty years, possibly more as our government is a POS

So what happens as a result is you get caught in this same vicious cycle or living the same day over and over again

And only have your next day off or next vacation planned to look forward to, which is a pretty shitty way to live if you ask me

And I want to help you find a way to escape that trap so you don’t go mad and turn 50, have a midlife crisis, quit your job, sell all of your belongings, and go live on a commune until you’re old and senile

This starts with referring back to the goal setting episode from a long time ago: and that is you need to chunk out your year, every single year

Go with the fiscal quarters of january, february, and march

April, may, and june

July, august, and september

And october, november, and december

So divide your year into fourths and on the first of the month of each of the four chunks, erase your whiteboard… note if you don’t have a whiteboard, go get one it’s very helpful for this exact thing

And after you clean it off write the quarter you’re now in which right now we’re in Q3, so it would say Q3 goals at the top

Then come up with about 5 things you want to work on or accomplish within the next three months

And write it down as a checklist

It could be dating goals, a trip you want to plan, a certification you’re after, moving, changing jobs, savings goals, literally anything and everything that you want to focus your time, energy, and attention on for the following three months

And then check off each accomplishment as you do them

Now I know this episode is being released at the beginning of august, so you can either focus this exercise for the remaining two months of this quarter or go three months from right now

I would err on the side of caution of going from now until the end of the year because that’s too much time and a lot can happen or shift between now and then

If the pandemic taught us anything I think it’s that you can’t plan that far in advance

Meaning, some goals might become irrelevant for your changing circumstance or you’re not going to have the motivation to work on something because you’re giving yourself too long of a time to complete it

I would go with a minimum of 2 months out and a maximum 4 months, but really 3 months is the sweet spot

But you need goals that are measurable and you can work towards so you can see your own progress in that part of your life

It’s the acknowledgement of that progress that will motivate you to keep working towards the goals you’ve set while also preventing you from feeling like you are living an endless cycle with little to no change happening

After you’ve set goals and chunked out your year to fit your needs, the next part of getting out of groundhog day is creating a routine

In other words before you start striving towards these goals you’re setting you need consistency in your life to help with time management as you add in activities or events to your already tight weekday calendar

I know creating a routine probably sounds counterintuitive and you’re thinking, Jess a routine is doing the same thing at the same time over and over again and isn’t that by definition groundhog day or what you’re helping us to try and get out of

To which I’d reply, allow me to explain

I’m also pretty sure i mentioned this in the healthy foundations episode, but your routine serves as your safety net

It is the part of your schedule that creates consistency and helps you to feel like you’re not about to lose your mind because you’re becoming more organized with your life and therefore your relationship to time

Our three greatest assets are time money and energy and time is the only thing that is nonrenewable meaning you can’t gain back time that has already been lost

You can, however, save time in the future and that starts with your routine

That organization translates to time management and creates open spaces in your day for you to plug in something else

This doesn’t mean you need to overload your calendar every day of the week, but say once a week, at least to get started

If getting out of groundhog day is truly important for you to do, which i’m assuming it is if you’ve made it this far into the episode, then you’re going to need to take up the more undesirable aspects of having a routine and that is morning workouts and meal prepping

You’re going to want to save time in as many places as you can otherwise you are going to run out of time in your day

And remember, you need sleep in order to be able to do it all without crashing

This might even mean using some money to buy back time like meal prepping services or personal training so you don’t have to plan out your meals or your workouts

But morning workouts might become necessary for you to start implementing sooner rather than later even though it’s going to be a rough transition

Evening workouts are easier to skip if something comes up like your work throws a surprise happy hour or your friends invite you to dinner and then the other part of evening workouts is by the time you get home after the gym it’s 7 or 7:30 and you need to shower and eat so now we’re talking 8:30 and by that point it’s a bit too late to go out and do something

Most events happen at happy hour times so it’s on you to plan your priorities accordingly

Which means going to the gym in the morning so you have more time after work to do other things that interest you or will help you progress toward your goals without taking away progress from your other goals

Something else I like to tell my clients, or really reassure them about is that morning workouts are never going to get easier

It’s always going to be more desirable to stay in bed and press snooze, so know that you’re not alone in that oh fuck this mentality

All of us morning gym goers are riding that same boat

I have one morning client in particular who will use his tiredness as an excuse and at first would actually cancel our sessions because tired and that comes at a cost because he would still get charged for that session

I would tell him when you would use his sleepiness as an excuse that we’re all tired

We’re all tired all the time

I told him you could go up to every single person in this gym and they will say they are tired

And it’s because morning workouts are tough but they are so worth it and if you do them properly, as in you don’t overexert yourself, you’ll actually feel more energized throughout your day and able to show up to that happy hour event instead of dragging your feet

But think about having three or four hours of time after work even if that means waking up 1 or 2 hours earlier

And yes that does mean you’re going to need to shift your sleep schedule

But mind you it’s all priority based and besides a morning workout will psychologically help you make better and healthier decisions for yourself

On the days that I have to be up early for personal training clients, meaning before 5am and I workout I find that I don’t need a nap in the afternoon and it’s because I worked out to give me energy

The meal prepping part of the equation helps save you time during the week for prepping and cleaning or from making poor food decisions that are going to leave you feeling crappy and then skipping your morning workouts

When you go to add in something new to your schedule you need to plan ahead for that day which is also why I said to start with one day a week

That planning is laying out your clothes for that day or even for the next day, having your foods ready to go, knowing when you’re doing what in terms of working out, working, and then whatever that addition is to your schedule and having a set time you want to be home by so you don’t derail your next day

Once you have your goals and routine down packed and have created time and energy for something new it’s time to move on to the next step of getting out of groundhog day and that is finding something new that interests you to try

Again start with once a week see how you feel from an overwhelm or energy perspective and then you can add in a second thing and so on a so forth

What you don’t want to do is have something planned for every single day of the week otherwise you risk burning yourself out

This new thing could be a networking social event or a sport or a pottery class, maybe even improv, a certification, building a side hustle, learning a new language

Depending on your goal if it’s learn a new skill or make a friend or date organically, find some activity that supports that

My story is a little unique in that I didn’t have a full time job when I stumbled into my passion but what I did do was think about some part of my life I enjoyed, which was working out, and I wanted to learn how to workout better and maybe help people

But I originally went into the certification for me

And then I saw an opportunity to start training people through an outdoor fitness bootcamp and figured why not, I’ve got the time right now

And to my surprise I fell in love with helping people

But it was that initial curiosity of wanting to learn something that lead me down the road of personal training and eventually coaching

It was my time management and priorities that helped me develop this business and new career while maintaining a full time job and a long distance relationship

I know this saying is cliched but it’s true, we’re all given the same 24 hours in a day and to my fellow twenty-somethings who are childless, we all pretty much hold the same level of time commitments to things like work, friends, and being healthy

So it’s not that there’s not enough time in the day, it’s more so you don’t know how to manage your time in the day to fit what’s truly important to you

This is catered specifically to my 9-5ers because I know nurses have it tough and some of you have jobs that require more than 40 hours a week, but a majority of the twenty-somethings listening have a standard desk job and that’s who I am speaking to

The way you set up your day, each and every day, will reflect what it is that matters to you the most

The final tip I want to give for getting yourself out of groundhog day is actually from a book I read a few months ago called the gap and the gain

And in that book, the author, Dan Sullivan, says to make a list of examples of when you’re feeling successful

So you would start it off with I am being successful when dot dot dot

For me, I am being successful when I can workout in the middle of the morning because when I was working on transitioning out of the corporate world I was waking up at 5:45 every day to workout before heading into the off

I am also being successful when I have time to read in the morning

I am being successful when I can do work by the pool

So take a look at your life, primarily your weekday life and come up with a bunch of examples that reminds you of your success so you can learn to appreciate certain moments in your day rather than feel like your drowning in the same day over and over again

It could be that I am successful when I can go out for dinner during the week because I feel financially secure.. This is for any of you listening has ever lost your job and felt very insecure about your financial situation

Or I am being successful when I can walk my dog in the middle of the day and not have to worry about a stranger doing it for me

Again it might feel like the most mundane things that you take for granted but trust me it helps shift your perspective about what your job and your lifestyle is actually doing for you and how it’s supporting you in this chapter of your life

Which is really where it all comes down to.. Groundhog day is a mental shift

It’s a shift in the way you view your day to day life, what you’re actively working on and towards, and the parts that are keeping you stable while you go to up-level other aspects

It is really easy to get lost in your own life or caught up in running through the same cycles, but with goals, time management, and curiosity you can start mixing things up

And funny enough those are the first two pillars in my own your life system: create your goals and awareness around your life and develop consistency in your routine, priorities, and habits that will result in better time management so you have the space to invite in something new

And who knows you might find your passion for something entirely unexpected

It’s how I went from being an interior designer with a full time job to a life and nutrition coach and a personal trainer

But if this is something you are wanting to work on for yourself but don’t really know how to get started or what to do once you do get started but are sick and tired of living the same day over and over again, then let’s hop on a call as I would love to be your coach and help you redesign your life

The link to schedule is always in the show notes right where it says let’s chat so go click on that

But know that you’re not alone in this feeling of redundancy and that there is an antidote to this struggle.. It’s me, I’m the antidote to help you

On that note, this does conclude another episode of how to twenty-something, if you liked what you heard please share this either with a friend, a family member, and actual groundhog, and on social media and tag me at coach.jessdiamond when you do

And as always I can’t wait to be in your headphones again next week with another brand new episode