Building a routine from scratch

Welcome back to another episode of how to twenty-something where today’s episode is all about building up your routine

Whether you’ve never had one, realized the one you have isn’t working for you or have a resistance towards having one, this episode is going to help you build one that suits your needs

Which also means, if you don’t want every day to look the same, you can still have a consistent routine in your life that provides structure and variability 

Because if there is one thing I know about humans is that we thrive on routine and consistency, doesn’t matter who you are, your brain immediately is like “ahhhh I don’t have to think as hard”

Plus, in your twenties you’re going to find your schedule changing based on work demands, unemployment, new commitments, etc and it’s important to know how you can utilize your routine across these changes so you don’t lose your mind in the process

For example, I had a really good routine for my work week when I first started working after college

I would get up and go to the gym, go to work, sit through an hour of traffic to get home, and then do something when I got back

Then I realized that an hour of traffic was not fun so i switched my morning workouts to evening ones, caught the gym halfway through my drive home and went home after

And every now and then I would go to a happy hour or something

And then the pandemic hit and I lost my job

Which also meant I lost my routine and I was scrambling for the first month with a pretty shitty routine – i say in quotes – that consisted of me laying in bed until 11am every day

Once I switched up my routine to include better habits, my mental health improved, and I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel

This new routine i created was so good for me that it was the first thing i worked really hard to include once I went back to the working world and even when i became self employed

You see, there are different aspects to your routine that should be moldable across different stages of your life and that’s exactly what I want to help you be able to create for yourself throughout this episode

I find almost every twenty-something needs a wake up call to their routine, whether they know so or not

Whether they’re a procrastinator, disorganized, hate doing the same thing every day, or just simply don’t know how to create one that’s going to work for them.. I have multiple different systems to help them build one for themselves

And not to toot my own horn, but this is what I’m exceptionally good at 

And I find that once we solidify their routine, their goals become much easier to achieve

It’s why consistency is one of the six pillars in my signature own your life system because it’s so important to develop consistency in your routine, which fits in with consistency in your priorities and how you show up day in and day out

To which i want to remind you that if you’re ready to adult better and achieve the things you want most in your life, then please check out the show notes and schedule a call with me where it says let’s chat because I would love to be your coach

But you are nothing without your routine and there are a lot of different ways to look at your routine which is part of what I’m going to break down for you throughout this episode

The other part of your routine is how it adapts to the ever changing phases of your life 

Whether you’re a recent grad, unemployed, an entrepreneur, or working full time

There are going to be similar and different ways to tackle this concept

We’ll be going through your nighttime and morning routines, your weekly routines, and general task assignment routines

How I start with my clients is with getting an idea of how they currently exist and then creating a solid morning and nighttime routine to support their schedule

Because it doesn’t matter who you are or what shift you work, you need to know how you’re winding yourself down at the end of your day and how you’re beginning your day so you don’t feel rushed or stressed from the get go

It’s been a while since I’ve mentioned this so forgive me if you’ve heard it before, but it’s crucial to how you think about all of this so I’m going to repeat myself here

Your nighttime routine is far more important than your morning routine

Because in order to have a solid morning routine, that does not consist of you hitting snooze several times, you need to be coming off of a good nights sleep and in order to have a good nights sleep you need to have a good nighttime routine

It’s the easiest way to begin thinking with your future self in mind

Asking yourself: what does nighttime me need to do so morning me has an easier time

That could mean packing your lunch, writing your to dos, laying out clothes, packing a gym bag, straightening up

It’s doing what you can before you go to bed so the morning version of you doesn’t have to

And then you can buy back time through sleep or through being able to move slower through your morning

But it all starts with knowing what does tomorrow hold for you

What’s on the calendar or what needs to be put on the calendar and then prepping ahead of time for that thing

Which is where a todo list enters the chat to help with your routine

But before I dive into that side of your routine, I want to highlight some more important things to note when it comes to your nighttime and morning routines

There are two primary goals of your nighttime routine: prep for tomorrow and prep for your sleep

I already talked about prepping for tomorrow, but prepping for your sleep is the real kicker

Because if you’re anything like me, then you need to have that designated wind down time

Most of you can’t just all of sudden decide to go to sleep – go from running around crazy, lights on, moving around to instant sleep

Our brains need time to produce the right chemicals to make you tired

So you need to decide for yourself how long you need of wind down time to help you fall asleep faster and to promote better quality sleep

But this wind down time looks like turning the volume down on your life

Where your outside environment and inside environment should look identical

Obviously, if you are a night shift worker, this isn’t going to be the case, so this is targeted to everyone who is going to bed after the sun sets

But turning the volume down means quite literally turning the volume down: on your phone, the tv, your voices

It’s ending any hard or stressful conversations

And it’s also turning the brightness down also on your phones and computers but even more so with the lights

Turn off the big overhead lights and turn on the accent ones

All of this helps you to send that signal to your brain that it’s time to go to sleep 

Otherwise your brain believes the artificial light overhead is the sun and you need to be awake

Now, it’s very possible you are part of the population that can fall asleep anywhere the second your head hits the pillow, in which case congrats and I hate you

I need to have a wind down routine that looks like doing the traditional skin care and teeth care and then reading a book until I go to sleep

If I have a chill night with no clients, I’ll move my wind down time earlier in the evening and have a show on with minimal lighting around me

But you need to reverse engineer your nighttime routine for yourself

Start with what time you need to wake up, so you can figure out what time you need to be asleep for adequate hours, how long it typically takes you to fall asleep, what needs to be done beforehand, and how long will any of those things take

That way you can work your way backwards to the time you need to begin your nighttime routine so everything else falls into place

And don’t stress if you do this exercise and find that you need to be asleep at 6pm because chances are you don’t need 2 hours of veg time on your phone to go to sleep… this is just a place to get you started

And then come morning, you’ll have a much easier adjustment into your day

You’ll know what you’re doing, everything will already be ready to go, and you won’t feel rushed to get out the door while also looking for those last minute things you can’t forget to take with you

If you do your nighttime routine correctly, then your morning routine is going to be a lot simpler in practice

It’s really just getting ready for the day

I also like to add in some gratitude practices to my morning routine so I start out on a positive note and search for the wins throughout my day

Like when I wake up, I give myself five minutes to lie in bed, run through my day ahead and ask myself what are the three wins I’m after that day

Which usually consists of my clients having good sessions or something that’s relevant to that particular day that I’m hoping to achieve a good outcome for

I know gratitude practices aren’t for everyone, but I find this to be a really easy, less woo, positive way to begin my day

So do with that what you will

Also, running through my day ahead usually isn’t very stressful because I already created my todo list the night before as part of my nighttime routine and am now just reminding myself of the things I wrote down

Which means it’s time to shift into helping you with your to do lists so things don’t slip your mind

I’ve had clients try to remember the things they need to do and then will say yeah it slipped my mind and I’m like why are you trying to remember it all… write it down

And that is in the form of to do lists

There are two different ways I go about creating them, so take what I say and adapt it to your life

But I do a weekly to do list of general things that need to get done or meetings I already have scheduled

And then I do a daily checklist that stems from the bigger weekly one but has more minute(my-noot) tasks on it as well to account for time

This way is the most helpful for other entrepreneurs, college students, and those who are unemployed

It helps you budget your time better across the week and then throughout each day

Because your days are a lot more variable across the board

Versus working professionals with standard 9-5s or predictable schedules already have their day mapped out for them

If you’re someone who stresses over work tasks then to do lists will also be helpful to create the night before so you can decrease your anxiety as to what you need to focus on the next day

But I personally like to create both, it’s also very satisfying to be able to check off double the things which helps with motivation to keep going

I create my bigger weekly one on sundays and then every night as part of my nighttime routine I create my next day to do list

And it will include tasks like going for a walk, just so I feel like my time is being used productively and to also remind me to go for a walk

So to recap what’s been said so far, of the routines there are your nighttime and morning routines and your to do list to help organize your week and days

The third and final part of your routine is also very person dependent, but I find this tactic to be the most helpful with procrastinators and with working professionals and that is assigning tasks to each day

Kind of like how at the gym if you do bro splits you know monday is chest, tuesday is legs, etc etc

You need to do the same thing with adult responsibilities 

What day is your grocery day, laundry day, friend day, relax day, workout day

Knowing that these days can change week to week depending on what’s going on in your life and that some of these tasks can be on the same day

Like maybe sundays are your designated grocery, meal prep, and laundry day

I did this with a client of mine recently because he would get very frustrated with himself for constantly pushing off tasks and by assigning days of the week to different tasks that include watching a movie or trivia night as well as grocery shopping and laundry, everything changed

He stopped procrastinating his tasks because he has it very clearly outlined of what day he is going to do what

I recommend writing the days out saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, and friday and assigning a task or event to each respective day and try your hardest to maintain it across time

With repeating that these can change, but start with some kind of structure and see it out for at least 2 weeks before you decide to change things up

Because here is the most important part when it comes to your routine: you should not be married to it

Routines make your life easier, they shouldn’t stress you out

What I mean is if, for whatever reason, you have to deviate from your routine that does not mean you have to completely throw in the towel and give up for that day, week or month

It just means it’s okay for you to deviate time and time again just get right back to it as soon as you can

Routine creates structure and structure is a system that allows you to think less about what’s going on day in and day out

Because remember, we reach severe decision fatigue by the end of the day and the worse your routine is the worse your decisions are going to be because you’re tired of making them so you’ll go for the easiest choice

Which is most often not the best choice

That’s why I stress doing as much for yourself as you can the night before when you’re already kind of tired, to help morning you make less decisions

Or even doing more on the weekends so you can do less responsibility type stuff during the week

But I get it, routines are tough to create for yourself

You spend the first 18 years of your life with your routine built for you.. Always being told where to go, what to do, and what was next

You didn’t have to think about because your parents did that for you

Unfortunately, now you’re an adult and have to do this all for yourself

So it’s a really good thing you found me to be your adulting playbook to make your twenties much easier than if you were doing this all on your own

But at the end of the day, your routine is only going to be as good as how it works for you

And how it can adapt to your changing needs and schedule

I know I just gave a butt ton of tactics to help you get started, now it’s on you to pull what you liked and discard what you don’t so you can begin to create something that matches you

With the goal being consistency

Consistency helps keep your brain calm with all of the other chaotic curveballs that get thrown your way in this silly little life

But consistency doesn’t always mean doing the exact same things day in and day out.. It should just be predictable for you across the board

Start with a consistent bed time and go from there, trust me more things will fall into place if you keep that as your primary goal

And now you have a some kind of path forward you want to at least try when it comes to building up your own routine

So on that note, thank you for listening to another episode of how to twenty-something… If you liked what you heard, learned something new, are ready to create your own unique routine or know someone who does, then please share this episode

Post it to social media, send it to a friend who has no routine, just do something to help me spread my reach to all of the twenty-somethings in this world navigating the most confusing decade

And as always, i can’t wait to be in your headphones again next week with another brand new episode