New year, same sh*t

Welcome back to How to Twenty-Something and happy new year!! How exciting for this to be the first episode of the new year on New Year’s Day so it’s probably no surprise that it’s going to be resolution focused

What’s funny is that starting with New Year’s last year I was telling everyone that next is the year I start my podcast it’s not a this year thing it’s a next year thing and yet here we are over six months into this bad boy and ready to set some big goals for 2024

Maybe right now you’re listening hungover in bed from having a bit too much fun last night, maybe you haven’t even gone to sleep yet, or maybe you’re ready to take 2024 by storm

Wherever you’re at while you’re listening to this episode, just know I am on a beach in Key West enjoying some florida sun, resting, rejuvenating and ready to get back to work as soon as I touch back down in Charlotte

Which also means ready to give the first workshop of 2024 to all of you! The right way to resolution is in 2 days so if you haven’t signed up yet you should stop what you’re doing and click the link in the show notes or go to jessdiamondcoaching.com/resolution

During this hour long zoom call I will be showing you how to properly set and plan for resolutions so you actually achieve them

It’ll be on Wednesday January 3rd at 7:30pm est with replays sent out to those who signed up

The new year is already here so you might as well sign up and join me

In all honesty, I actually don’t like New Years, mainly New Years Eve because there’s this pressure to need to do something or be somewhere to ring in the new year and if you aren’t doing something extravagant in your twenties then you’re lame

Or at least that how it feels in my world

For me, my love language is quality time so I like being around the people I care about, it doesn’t matter where we are or what we’re doing as long as we’re all together

This year, I thought about going to Tampa as that’s where some old college friends currently live, but when my mom said she was off for a few days and invited me to go somewhere with her I took her up on that offer, because who wouldn’t want a free and relaxing trip to somewhere warm

New Year’s Day, on the other hand, always feels refreshing, and every New Year’s Day I am reminded of a memory from when I was probably around 6 or 7 and we were dropping my cousin off at the airport and I was thinking wow the start of the new year, my birthday falls at the beginning of the year therefore it’s almost my birthday, and what came out of my mouth was “it’s my birthday this year!” to which my mom and cousin look at me and were like “Uhh Jess, it’s everyone’s birthday this year” 

When I really meant it’s a new year and my birthday is almost here – hey that rhymes – my birthday is March 7th for anyone wondering and I accept all presents – you have two months to plan something for me 

But in all seriousness, the New Year symbolizes the start of something new, yes you can cue high school musical and I titled this episode new year, same sh*t because a vast majority of people make resolutions for the start of the new year and fall off by the time January 31st comes around or they know they typically fall off and have given up on resolutions all together

Or you even go in another direction of making a challenge for yourself for the first month of the year like dry january and then don’t carry over any of the habits you developed during that month

What’s funny, is that every year since adulting I’ll hear people around me talk about how great they feel giving up alcohol during the month of January, how it was difficult at first but they love finding other ways to be comfortable in social settings or they love not waking up hungover, or they love saving a ton of money since they don’t need to allocate a portion of their paycheck to their alcohol fund, or how much energy they have on the weekends, how their mondays don’t feel so hard, and how good they feel all around

And then as soon as February 1st hits they immediately crack open a cold one and completely ignore the extreme benefits they just experienced by removing alcohol from their life

It’s like you think cool did that, check mark, now time to go back to the exact way I was previously operating

Yes I am calling you out right now if you are someone who has done that in the past or plan on doing that this year

So while it is a brand new year, you’re also doing the same old shit that’s not going to progress you towards a life you actually want to be living

And I’m here to tell you to cut that shit out

Like you’re missing the fucking point of the challenges or the resolutions

The same thing happens with 75 hard – I hear wow I feel so great, or I have more energy, more happiness, a better body, and then as soon as it’s day 76 you go cool, did that, now let’s press resume on my previous way of existing and completely ignore the life I just lived for the last two and half months

It’s why things like 75 hard or dry January do not work because you’re not thinking about what happens after your little challenge is over, before you even begin it, which coincidentally also happens when you go to set goals for yourself

You fail to think about what happens after you reach the goal, if you even reach the goal

Anyone that tells me they’re doing either of those two things, I immediately tell them to pay attention to the benefits they’re experiencing and what aspect of this challenge do you want to carry over into your new way of being 

It’s not a one and done, it’s an I did it, this is what I learned from it, and this is what I want to continue to build on

I don’t tell people to cut out alcohol from their life or even certain food groups but I do teach you about your relationship to these things and/or dependence on them that’s the problem or the thing that’s holding you back from your full potential

Drinking because you had a tough day or because it’s the weekend is not a valid reason and dry january helps you get out of that mindset, but when february comes around you negate all that you just learned

It also never comes as surprise to me that almost everyone I work with, at some point in our journey together they say they want to decrease their alcohol intake and begin to break the soothing habit or coping mechanism they previously established probably in college and then it continues as part of the norm in every social occasion in the adult world

But just because something is deemed as normal, does not mean it’s good for you

And most of the habits we learned in college we need to unlearn throughout the rest of our twenties

So if you are taking part in some challenge, know that it’s designed to be temporary, but it’s also designed as a form of proof that you can do something you set out on and it’s possible to exist in a better and healthier life

However, if you don’t think about what happens once it’s over then it’s not going to serve its purpose in the way it’s designed to

And it’s probably why every year you say something along the lines of oh but this year will be different and low and behold, it’s not

You haven’t changed your way of operating so you’re going to continue to get the same results, or lack thereof, just another year later

I think it’s even the definition of insanity according to Albert Einstein: doing the same thing every time and expecting a different result

And I don’t need to be the one to tell you this as you’ve probably already heard it before, but if you always do what you’ve always done then you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten

Which is also a saying I hope sticks in your head because I’ll have people that will inquire to work with me since they’ve developed the awareness that what they keep trying to do over and over again isn’t working and need help breaking their patterns and changing their ways

Because they know if they were to try things out on their own, like they were previously doing, they aren’t going to get very far, otherwise they would have already achieved whatever it was they set out on

And chances are you don’t want to keep repeating your same habits over and over again year after year

You need that outside perspective that’s going to call you out on your bullshit and teach you a new way to be that will actually bring you closer to your goals, which is where working with me comes in

A common thing I like to ask twenty-somethings is if you operated exactly as you do now for the rest of your life, will you be happy?

I typically get the backlash response of no but it’s my twenties I’m supposed to live it up right now that’s what this time of my life is for

Which, yes, you’re absolutely right, but you’re also dead wrong

Your twenties are the building block for the rest of your adult life, it doesn’t mean you can’t have fun and have to take it seriously – but it is to say that you do need to be more responsible, you’re growing up, you’ve entered the adulting side of society and with that means leaving your college ways in college

You have bills, you have careers, you have relationships, you have your health that will only continue to deteriorate if you don’t get your act together

And you need to be thinking about what you want out of your life

Because up until this point we were all on the same timeline.. We all went from elementary school to middle school, then to high school, then most of us went off to college and from there we all split off into our own timelines

So it’s on you to figure out what’s going on, so you don’t continue to repeat the same actions and get the same outcomes that aren’t helping you

Regardless of where you’re at in your life, we all want the same thing – we want to find our reason for existing we want success, we want happiness, and we want love – how that shows up varies from person to person and I’m here to tell you that none of those things come from drinking your weekends away or sitting on your couch watching tv

It comes from building your foundation and what that looks like for you, a lifestyle you can sustain to some extent for the rest of your life

And building your foundation starts now, in your twenties, so once you fine tune how you operate, in healthy ways, on a fundamental level you can then go explore what else you want to invite into your life

Or another way to think about it is when you have a solid foundation you can handle changes, challenges, and transitions better

It’s like a building, you need a solid foundation before you put up the walls otherwise everything will come crumbling down the moment a strong breeze comes through

In this analogy the small breeze is any inconvenience that impacts your life causing you to crumble and have a mental breakdown

New years is your reminder to change your ways if what you did last year didn’t pan out in the way you hoped

And if you’re thinking, man I wish Jess could help me set up my resolutions for this year, I’m here to once again remind you to go sign up for The Right Way to Resolutions that’s this Wednesday 

And if you’re listening to this on January 4th or later and did not come to this free workshop, then I’m here to tell you, you done fucked up…

And that I’m not mean so if you send me an email I will send you the replay and worksheet to go along with it and I’ve also created this episode for you to help you get your shit together for 2024

I’m starting this year off feisty, mainly because I have a lot of fire in my belly to do better this year as last year had some unexpected downfalls, which happens, but all the more reason to get right back up and curate some new beginnings

The other reason why I’m starting off feisty is because I’m sick of yall playing life by ear, like yes I’m going to state this again, have fun and don’t take things too seriously but there are certain parts of your life you do need to take seriously in order to enjoy your life

And the new year provides this sense of a blank slate or start fresh to do this year right, at least for me it represents this feeling

But as your audio life coach, I want to help you to not have this new year be filled with your same old shit

And if you are someone who does struggle with getting stuck in your old ways then please book a call with me, it’s free and it’s designed to help you gain some perspective on what you really want out of your life

Okay now that I’ve gotten most of my cursing out and sales pitch for you to seriously inquire about working with me as your coach so you can kick ass in 2024, let’s dive into to how to set up this year with some good intentions, how to make this year your year, and even find your word of the year or motto to live by for the next 366 days as it’s a leap year this year

I do want to say that this is not a goal setting or resolution making episode, you can go back and look at my goal setting episode or again email me for last weeks workshop that you neglected to sign up for

This is an episode for focusing on what you want out of this next year

I want to begin with saying that I firmly believe January 1st helps to set the tone for the year ahead so even if you’re hungover you should still muster up the energy to do something beneficial towards your health for today

Once you’ve established how you want to promote your health today, let’s move on to reflect back on what hiccups happened last year that you don’t want to repeat again this year or some aspect you want to improve on in general and try to create a word that best describes what you’re after

For example, last year my word of the year was impact I went into the year wanting to expand my reach to more young professionals as best as I could and can successfully say I made an impact with beginning this podcast, doing three in person events, and joining new networking groups

This year I want to take everything up a notch – I want to make sure some of the hiccups I experienced don’t repeat themselves and to grow my business and outreach even more

For example, I know that last year I let my power get taken from me with some undesirable events that occurred 

I got into the habit of waiting for the invitation, as an introvert that is my default as I really really REALLY do not like creating events and inviting people to them, it makes me so uncomfortable and gives me zero joy to do so

But you know what’s worse than creating events… waiting and hoping for someone else to invite me to an event or social gathering

My entire friend group disintegrated around May of last year only I didn’t realize how severed these friendships were until about early August so I spent the entire summer waiting for an invitation that never came

Every weekend I sat in my apartment and would think this is the weekend, I don’t want to create plans because this will be the weekend I get invited to something

And I’ll tell you the really shitty part of that is I gave everyone else power over my social calendar

My coach put things into perspective for me as I would spend a lot of sessions crying over my situation, and this year I refuse to let that happen again

Honestly once she brought this to my attention I refused to let my power be in the hands of someone else and took back control over my social calendar – which meant leaving my comfort zone by coming up with something to do and inviting people to join me

It never got easier, but I did realize that if I didn’t want to spend my weekend by myself then it was up to me to do something about it and no longer wait for a text about what other people were doing

Because I let me power leave my hands and that is something I don’t want repeated, I’ve decided that my word of the year for 2024 is empower – I want to be in charge of my experiences and I have the power to go where I want, when I want, with who I want, and even leave when I want to

I have the power to control who and what I want to invite into my life and who I don’t even want to be in the same room as

All of which will leave me feeling empowered over my own emotions, schedule, and life in general

And I want to empower others to do the same within the context of their own lives

I want to empower people to make decisions that align with their values and not what is expected of them or what they think they’re supposed to do

I want to empower others to speak up for themselves in their career or relationships or the life they’re after

Afterall, it’s what I help my clients do and this year I’m hoping to spread it to an even large scale with more clients, more in person events and more people listening to this podcast

So empower is my word and if you were to take a moment and reflect back on 2023, you can probably think of a specific moment that wasn’t too enjoyable or maybe you’re thinking of a consistent way you previously operated that you are looking to disrupt, and now find a word that best described what you want to do or who you want to be instead

I want to feel empowered in everything I do and I no longer want to let someone else to take my power from me

Now you get to pull a word that provides a constant reminder to you about what you want to change about yourself and that gives you your word of the year

Another thing I like to do at the start of the year is give it a little mantra and it serves me in a similar way as my word for the year but is more directed towards the growth I want to experience

For example, while I was still in my corporate job and building my life and nutrition coaching business, I was very busy and pretty much worked on something whether it was myself, my business, or my job, for about 16 hours everyday monday through friday and then saturday and sunday were for resting, recharging, and getting everything ready for the week ahead

I sacrificed my social life to get out of the corporate world as fast as I could and kept repeating my mantra to myself in times when I felt really stressed or exhausted and that is, it’s not forever it’s for now

This is a mantra I still use and will probably use it for the rest of my life when I come to a difficult time because hardships are inevitable

Bad things do happen and you will get through it like you have in the past

Remember you have a 100% success rate from your toughest days to date otherwise you wouldn’t be here listening to this podcast right now

And this year, even presently, as I work to continuously build my social circle I will repeat it’s not forever it’s for now 

The year I moved to Charlotte my mantra was the year of YES, I was saying yes to everything I was invited to because I wanted to meet people and be seen and had put my social life on hold for the entire year before that

Last year my mantra was if you don’t ask, the answer’s no and within the first week of the year I gave my first in person workshop, it also helped encourage me to ask people to do things once I got out of my little depressive state where I hid from everyone and waited on others to include me

As I’m planning this episode out I’m thinking through what I want this year to represent

I do want exponential growth in my business and my relationships so i’ll center it around that and 

This year’s mantra is going to be do it for the growth

Think of it as a play off of do it for the plot, only a hell of lot more forward thinking and not so much of it’ll make for a funny story

But that it’ll help push me to do things out of my comfort zone and is supportive of what I’m working towards in my personal and professional life

It also aligns with boundaries I set with saying no to things I don’t want to do, which I’m typically good at doing and it’s not saying no because it’s uncomfortable but because it doesn’t add value to my life in any way

But that’s essentially how I create my yearly mantra – I think about what I want to work on or towards or a little reassuring reminder that I need and put a phrase together in support of that vision

Your mantra doesn’t need to be something serious it should serve as an encouragement to go after the things you want for yourself, feel free to hit pause and think about your mantra for 2024 or take one of the ones I’ve used in the past

And now that i’ve walked through my own personal word of the year and mantra, hopefully you can see my thought process and be able to create your own

But for real, what do you want to create for yourself for this next year

What do you want to be do or have by this time next year that makes you feel proud or a sense of accomplishment or like you have some idea of what you want for yourself

I know new years is cliche, I know some people don’t even believe in setting resolutions just because it’s a new year, but I also know that there is great power with new beginnings

Regardless of what January 1st symbolizes for you, let it open some door that you’ve previously been holding close

Use it as an excuse to try something new, break out of your shell a little more, break up with a version of you that you don’t particularly care for

Afterall it is a brand new year that gives you the chance to do something new

But it’s on you to figure out what that is

What it isn’t is staying exactly where you are, your comfort zone is probably one of the most detrimental places to be

So use your mantra and word of the year to push you outside of your norm, like I said you want to feel encouraged by them, something that helps you grow or evolve into your next version

And together they set your intentions for the year

What do you want to be able to look back on and be proud that you did over this next year and what measures need to be put in place so they actually happen

When it comes to setting intentions for the year, think about what your word and mantra create in your heart

For me, with my word of the year being empower and my mantra is do it for the growth, I think collectively they send the message to trust myself more. In 2024 I want to believe in myself and the universe, trust my intuition, trust that everything happens for a reason, and trust that it’s all going to work out in the end

As I wrap up this episode, I feel like I came in a little hot and feisty, but I seriously want you to have an amazing year and it begins with your approach to the next 366 days of your life

And it also begins with you taking things a step further and signing up for the right way to resolution

But thank you for listening to the first episode of 2024 of how to twenty-something, I’m wishing all of you a very happy new year and I can’t wait to watch us all grow this next year

If you liked what you heard please give me a rating or share it on social media to help my outreach and then of course tag me at coach.jessdiamond when you do because otherwise I won’t see it

And with that, I can’t wait to be in your headphones again next week with another brand new episode.