What are you grateful for?

I’m interrupting my relationship series with a special Thanksgiving related episode! Welcome back to how to twenty-something, today I’m going to talk to you about the benefits a regular gratitude practice has on your life and mind and the different ways you can begin implementing this sort of thing

If you are listening in the US and in real time- as I know I have some listeners in different countries, then you know that this Thursday is Thanksgiving, this is the time of the year where we reflect on the abundant aspects of our life, we gather around a table with family and discuss what we’re grateful for while we eat a delicious meal until we stuff ourselves full and digest our food by black friday shopping

Or at least that’s what my family does with Thanksgiving

So I figured now would be as good as time as any to discuss gratitude and how to incorporate this sort of thing into your daily routine as well as why you should strive to regularly include it

Working backwards from what I just said, I want to begin with the why, because we always need a why in order to get ourselves to do something

It’s one of the first things I ask a client after we set a goal to work towards.. Why is this important for you to achieve and if you heard the talk I gave at the beginning of the month “Why I broke up with my phone, and you should too” then you heard step number three which was know your why

P.s. if you haven’t heard my talk yet then i highly recommend you head to the link in the show notes and watch the youtube video because it is spectacular if I do say so myself

But back on topic.. acknowledging what you’re grateful for is really good for your mind, especially if you are someone who suffers from anxiety or if you’re someone who is going through the thick of it right now

A little fun fact is that the anxious part of your brain and the grateful part actually stem from the same place so you literally can’t be anxious and express gratitude at the same time

It also prevents you from taking things for granted

Most of you listening have 9-5 jobs, meaning your Monday through Thursday looks roughly the same.. It’s very easy to get caught up on the endless cycle that is your life where nothing big really changes all that much on a day to day basis

But when you seriously ask yourself 10 things you are grateful for that day and force yourself to search for the golden nuggets, you can become a lot more appreciative over the simplest of things

And then because you are directing your attention towards the positive aspects of your day you’re switching your mindset to seek out the additional positives for the next day

A few months ago one of my clients and her fiance were going through a bit of a rough patch, not with each other but more so with their career and life, and she said it felt like all they were doing was sludging through their sorrows

To which I told her what if you guys began telling each other your favorite parts of your days before bed each night.. That way you’re going to go through each day seeking out the best thing to be able to share with your partner, instead of hyper-focusing on the bad

Because when things aren’t going very well it is very easy to get consumed by the negativity of nothing is going well and where your attention goes energy flows

Meaning you’re going to keep confirming where things aren’t going well because that’s all you’re looking for

Flipping the script to the positives works in the same exact way

It’s not to say your situation doesn’t suck because it very well might, but what’s more important is what are you going to do to change things, and that change typically starts with your mind

If you’ve been listening for quite some time, then you’ve probably heard me drop some hints here and there that this year has not been a fun time for a lot of different reasons and a lot of tears have fallen from my eyes as a result – let’s just say 2023 is not at all what I had in mind at the beginning of the year

I’ve accomplished some amazing unexpected things like this podcast, but I’ve also suffered in a few different areas of my life

However, even when I was having the worst kind of day, I still made sure to practice my gratitude almost every night because I knew if I didn’t, then my headspace would be even worse than what it was at that moment

Your thoughts are so important as that’s what’s going to dictate your perspective on any situation at any point in your life

For example, I had a friend who had a lot of things go wrong at one time – it was the guy she was talking to turned out to be terrible, her apartment was falling apart, her car got broken into, and her mom was going through some serious medical stuff.. I remember one evening, while her car was undrivable because of the glass covering her seat from being broken into, she told me she had to walk to the gym.. Which wasn’t that big of a deal – it’s two miles and there’s easy public transportation and the existence of ubers and lyfts

But with this walk she went even further to say oh it’s going to rain on me and I looked outside and was like dude it’s sunny with no clouds around and recommended she take the light rail which is a little transportation train that would take her to the gym, and she wrote back saying but it’ll break down on me and the stop is far away so what’s the point

I pretty much stopped answering her after that point because she wasn’t looking for alternative solutions if all of sudden this sunny day did turn rainy, which it didn’t, she was looking for someone to wallow in her sorrows with her and kept searching for any possible negative outcome without even giving something a chance

Her mindset was heightened to everything going wrong and that there was no chance for it to go even remotely right – it’s not to say her life wasn’t going through a major rough patch at that point of time, but it is to say that she had zero gratitude practices in place so she was sitting in her own pit of misery

The thing is, we’re all guilty of doing this at one point or another, hence the stress to practice being grateful for everything!! I’m sure you can probably recall a time in your life where it felt like literally nothing was going right… Which sometimes is the case and all the more reason to search for even the most miniscule things that are going well

So let’s get into how you can practice your gratitude.. I’ll start with what I personally do to keep my mind healthy and positive even when I was at most depressed point over this summer

Just about every night when I’m making dinner I say outloud 10 things I’m grateful for that day and follow it with 10 affirmations that I am

In the gratitude part I would literally say, I’m grateful I didn’t get rained on today – which when I lived in Florida was honestly a bigger deal than you would think

Another would be I had good energy today or I’m grateful that I slept really well last night, or I’m grateful for my friend Katie, or for my mom, or my mastermind group or business coach Stacey

Katie and my mom listen to every episode, so shout out to them for being some pretty amazing support systems

But your gratitude doesn’t have to be these absolutely amazing things because that’s when gratitude is easy like I’m grateful I got promoted today… that’s a pretty big deal and it’s easy to appreciate that highlight moment

What’s hard is saying I’m grateful I have a job

If you’ve ever been unemployed you know how grateful you are to have a steady paycheck.. Even if you don’t love your workplace you know it’s better than the stress of not having a job to go to when you have bills that need to be paid

If you’ve been sick recently you suddenly become really grateful about being able to breathe through your nose again

Or if you’ve been injured, you become grateful for a healthy body

Now the things you otherwise took for granted or didn’t bat an eye to become something so positive and that you are appreciative of

When you redirect your attention to all that you have to be grateful for you also switch your mindset into being one with abundance because you’re no longer thinking about what you don’t have

And who doesn’t want an abundance of amazing things

I challenge you to find 5 things you are grateful for right now – is it that the sun is shining, that you have a short work week, that you get to take a break from adulting for a little as you go home for the holidays, that you pet a dog today, that you saw your gym crush

That’s five right there, none of them are massive things, but they do add up and are important to recognize

And your heart feels a little happier when you do acknowledge these reflections

Your gratitude practice doesn’t only need to be stating what you’re grateful for each day  as it can also present itself for being grateful for some of the people in your life and telling them so

This past year I’ve personally been working on telling people in my life that I’m grateful for them.. It’s harder than you think because it’s typically more of an after thought like oh yeah I am grateful for this person

But when was the last time you told either verbally or via message how appreciative you are for someone to be in your life and what about their presence makes you feel that way?

My guess is it’s probably been a little while

I think this would be a good opportunity to send that message to someone, trust me it’ll make their day and most of the time they write something back saying what they appreciate about you

Being appreciative of someone is a form of self care because you feel good writing the message to the person you’re thinking about, and that person feels really good receiving it and now everyone feels really good and happy

Just how we take simple things for granted, we also have a tendency to take some people in our life for granted, especially if they are constantly around

For instance my mom is always there for me and I don’t really remember to tell her that I’m extremely appreciative of her and all that she has done for me, like she’s my mom but she also doesn’t have to do all that she does for me and my sister.. She just happens to be a kickass mom

I can also tell you that I was not always grateful for my mom but am very glad our relationship has improved as I’ve gotten older and can also reflect on how hard she worked to make our childhood as good as it could be with what we had

Plus she raised two great kids if I do say so myself

And what’s really neat is the day I recorded this episode, one of my personal training clients handed me a thank you card for all that I’ve helped him with so that was right on par with the timing

It’s really putting your mind in this positive and empowering place so again it can redirect your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right

Aside from literally saying what you are grateful for, there are two other ways you can add to this practice

This comes in the form of manifesting the life you’re dreaming of and affirming who you are right now and who you are aspiring to be so this now we include a forward thinking approach

I don’t want you to think of manifesting in a woo woo way but in a dreaming goal oriented kind of way

Depending on the client I’m working with and where they’re at in their journey with me, I’ll include a manifestation practice in our session where I have them close their eyes and paint the picture in their mind of the future life I’m describing for them

One where they are already where they are striving to be and can connect with the version of themselves that believes it’s possible to achieve their goals

It’s really relaxing and and provides this motivation to keep going

It’s like a meditation, but I also like to refer to this as a dry run for when you do actually achieve what you’re after

Because sometimes our goals or the life we desire feels very out of reach but a cool thing to note is that your brain cannot paint a picture of what’s not possible for you and that you wholeheartedly believe you can achieve

So put yourself in the shoes of the you that is already doing, being, and having what you want; be specific with your description and get really clear on the life you’re after

It requires work to get where you want to go for sure, but sometimes you need to pause and connect with future you and the message they want to give to the you that’s here right now

One thing to add though as you’re manifesting to yourself or journaling out be sure to include statements like when this happens not if it happens

You want to speak it into existence and not be wishy washy of ohhh i guess it’s possible, it would be nice if it came true and any other weak phrase

No, affirm it because it is going to happen so when it does what will life be like?

Like I said, you can journal your manifestations, you can meditate on them, you can tell a friend about them, regardless of how you choose to practice your manifestations of everything working out for you, be consistent with it – as in connect to it every day or a majority of your days

I’ll even have newer clients write out the life they want on a sheet of paper before we even begin working together so they feel into the fire in their belly that made them book a call with me in the first place and it helps them get a better idea of the life they are after and what goals we can set together to know we’re heading in the right direction

Because I make your life easier and save you a lot of time and mistake cycles that you typically experience when you try to do life alone

Just something to keep in mind, but the third and final gratitude related practice is affirmations

Keep that brain feeling empowered by stating who you are or even who you’re working towards becoming

This means no I will or I’m going to or I wish phrases.. We are affirming

They should all begin with I am or I have

Like I am in a healthy relationship

I am sought out by young professionals everywhere

Those are mine yours can be I am working at my dream job

I am proud of myself

I actually had a conversation with a friend a few months ago and she was saying she just doesn’t believe herself when she says something like I am worthy and I said well add to it so instead of stopping there if you don’t have that belief yet.. Say I am worthy of a life that I love

And that was something that she could connect with

You need to believe in your affirmations and just like manifesting you need to actually put in the work towards fully embodying them

The bottomline is whatever your practice is, you need to find something that works for you.. Not something that feels like a big pain in the ass but brings you some joy, peace, and positivity

For me that is every morning I wake up, open my blinds as I say good morning universe, what good things are in store for me today

Then I pick an angel card which is a little bowl of cards with different words on them and the one you pick is the angel that’s with you for that day which could be abundance, compassion, flexibility and bunch of others

I then go into my living and pick an affirmation card, then I sit down and write out my list of to do’s for that day and next to it I write out about 5 affirmations that I’m working towards 

My evening gratitude practice as I stated earlier consists of verbally shouting out 10 things I’m grateful for that day followed by 10 affirmations of things that I am

So I have both a morning and an evening practice because being self employed is a lot on the mind and I like to set the tone for the day as well as wrap it up on a high note at the end of the day

Because here’s the thing, this world is full of so much negativity and hate that it’s all around us on a consistent basis; but by having a regular practice in place you are doing your best to fight back the bad energy and thoughts

It also grounds you and keeps you present, while reminding yourself of everything you have and all that you have to look forward to

As I said earlier, gratitude takes you out of this place of lack and puts you into the world of abundance 

One of my affirmations is literally I am one with abundance and all the universe has to offer

You can start small start with 3 things you are grateful for today and build on that, do it when you’re doing the same task every day like for me it’s while dinner is cooking

Or even while I’m eating so it’s in between bites which also helps me slow down mine eating

Give yourself the opportunity to create a peace of mind in your life even if it’s only for the thirty seconds that your taking part in your practice

But you need to do something that promotes a healthy and positive mind and outlook on your life

As I wrap up today’s episode I do want to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving and to know that I am very grateful that you choose my podcast to listen to each week

I don’t like getting caught up in the number of downloads but I also can’t help but see them when I upload an episode

So I know you are all out there and I also know that one day there will be 100s if not thousands of downloads per episode – that is an unintentional manifestations but I’m so caught up in the positivity right after speaking about it for the last like 18 minutes that it just naturally came out

And with that, I want to once again thank you for listening to another episode of How to Twenty-something

If you liked what you heard, please hit follow, leave a rating, share it with a friend who needs to be reminded to view things as more positive, post it on social media and tag me at coach.jessdiamond when you do 

And can’t wait to be in your headphones again next week with another brand new episode