Jess (00:02.39)

Welcome back to another episode of how to 20 something and boy boy am I excited for you guys to hear this one. If you’re part of the population which is basically most of you listening who looks at their wardrobe when it’s time to go out and be social and think I have nothing to wear or if you are someone like myself who has the same four outfits that you keep cycling through then keep listening because this episode is for you. By the end of this episode that will no longer

be a problem as you will officially know what it means to wear your closet and how to make that possible. And wearing your closet all but uncomfortable at first is so important when it comes to your confidence, as our guest will soon exemplify from her own personal experiences. But it’s also one of the three tips I provide in my three ways to walk into any room with confidence free download.

So if you’re curious about the other two tips and tricks that helps you own your own presence when walking into a new environment, then go to the show notes or to justdiamondcoaching .com forward slash confidence. So you can have this gift sent directly to your inbox. And actually in that tip, I say that you need to wear what you’re comfortable in and it’s okay to outfit repeat as long as it’s clean. But once I met Sam and she introduced me to this concept of wearing my closet,

and even picked an outfit out for me to wear that I certainly was not comfortable in, I learned that sometimes you do need to branch out and wear something out of your norm. You bought it for a reason, so go put it to use. And this is exactly what Sam is here to explain to all of you listening, which speaking of, I’m going to introduce her to the show so she can enlighten you to your own inner confidence and how your wardrobe plays a major role in how you represent yourself. So.

Jess (02:07.502)
Samantha Swan is a young business professional who enjoys living in the moment and encouraging others to do the same. She balances her nine to five corporate job with expressing her personality in everything she does, or in other words, being her authentic self. In her free time, she loves relaxing at the park, hanging out with her cat midnight, and drinking wine. Hi, Sam, welcome to How to 20 something.

Samantha Swann (02:29.378)
Hi Jess, thanks for having me on the show. I’m super excited today.

Jess (02:33.646)
I’m excited for you to be here. So, Sam, can you start with defining what it means to wear your closet?

Samantha Swann (02:42.146)
Yeah, I mean, Jess, it’s honestly like self -explanatory. It means to wear your closet. But when I say that, I mean to wear your entire closet, not just the 10 outfits you gravitate towards or your comfort zone for that day. It’s really pushing yourself to say like, hey, there’s that one shirt that I bought at Express a few months ago and I’ve never worn it. I’m going to wear it today just because I’m going to the grocery store, right? Getting out of that mindset of you need a special occasion to wear certain things.

Today’s in a special occasion, right? So when you go into your closet picking things that you would not normally pick, but at the same time where you feel confident in what you’re wearing, right? So wearing your closet just simply means that, like going into your closet in the morning and saying, who do I want to be today? Who do I want to dress like, right? Not dressing for your mood, but dressing for your day. So when you go into your closet, you’re saying like,

I really want to be, you know, the Pilates girl. So you pick an outfit that represents a Pilates girl, even if you’re not used to wearing it, right? The confidence will come once you put the outfit on. So really encourage my friends and anyone I know to like wear every piece of outfit in their closet for sure.

Jess (04:03.118)
Yeah, and I do not wear my closet a lot. Actually, up until you coming over to my apartment and helping me wear my closet, I definitely gravitated towards workout clothes because that’s what I wear for my career. So it’s not going to go sit in jeans at a gym or sit in jeans when I’m on my couch at the client call, but it has shifted the way I go to brunch when I went to brunch with you over the weekend. It has…

shifted the way I go grocery shopping or go to book club, like it’s different things where I would have normally just been like, I’m in leggings, like it’s fine because I’m comfortable in this. It’s almost challenging my comfort zone in a very healthy way that also allows me to express more of myself than what a majority of the people see, which is even how I’m dressed right now of in gym clothes.

Samantha Swann (04:57.026)
Yeah, no, definitely. And I feel, don’t feel alone. I feel like 95 % of the human populations in that mindset because COVID happened, right? And we weren’t leaving the house. So what do you gravitate towards when you’re at home? Sweatpants, sweatshirt, and I do the same. Don’t get me wrong. I love a good sweatpants, hair tied up. We’re not leaving the house. But when you’re in those clothes, how do you feel? You feel very relaxed. You feel very…

Sedated just kind of like in this very low energy environment but when you take effort and put on a nice leather skirt or you take time and put on a nice floral dress or you put on the heels instead of the tennis shoes You’re obviously giving more energy to yourself you’re pouring into yourself because it’s your outfit and what you’re wearing and It does just be honest your your outfit matters. It’s part of your personality. It’s how you show up and what people you know, I

That’s how they build their first impressions on you, right? With how you look. So with that, when you give that extra energy to yourself to put those other things on, you’re obviously putting yourself into a different mood and a different environment, right? So of course there’s days when I walk out the house and go to the grocery store in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, right? But at the same time, like when I’m intentionally having a day, like I’m intentionally going out to run errands or I’m intentionally…

going to a meeting or going into the office and things like that. I’m gravitating towards an outfit where I feel confident and I have that energy. It’s the reason why I don’t have to wake up in the morning and grab a cup of coffee because I’m excited about what I wear. I know when I look in the mirror, I look good and I know when I look good, I feel good and when I feel good, I do good, right? So if I’m already putting that mindset on in the morning when I put on like this red blouse I have on today, right? It’s very vibrant. It catches your eye.

One, I’m going to be attracting more attention, more eyes, because it’s very vibrant. It definitely stands out from your normal neutral colors of black and gray, right? But then also, like, you know, when I’m walking through and people say like, wow, Sam, that’s a really nice shirt. Like, obviously that’s pouring into me, right? So it’s allowing you to not, you know, go through life unseen. You’re going to be seen by people, but then also be open to having more conversation and meeting people. I feel like a lot of…

Samantha Swann (07:19.618)
People I talk to you’re like, wow, Sam, I feel like I go through life and no one says hi to me, right? But what if you put on a yellow shirt instead of a black shirt? What if you played with them and put on this light blue shirt instead of a dark gray shirt? What if you decided that you’re gonna wear a one -inch heel instead of your purple crocs you may have in your closet? These are the things that allow you to open yourself up to more relationships, more opportunities, and just…

be seen by more things in life. So that’s again why I say wear your closet because you never know what will happen from you wearing.

Jess (07:57.806)
I feel called out with my purple crocs, but I will say I attract attention with purple crocs. So they are a good thing, but no.

Samantha Swann (08:03.298)
Yes. Yes. Yes. And that’s a great tie in. Like that’s great. Like, you know, purple crocs are okay. So it’s passed. I know some people will probably like, you know, be like, I need to go spend a million dollars and get Prada and Gucci. You don’t. I am a Target girly, an express girly, a goodwill girly. Like I love a good sale. So you don’t need to go spend millions of dollars to, you know,

to look good. All you have to do is find clothes that fit you in your current season, because we’re always evolving, so there’s no reason in waiting until you hit that goal weight or hit that body type that you’re looking for. Just go. Find affordable clothes that fit you now, because I promise you when you put those clothes on and you’re like, wow, I look really good in this shirt with the current size I am, you will start to feel that self -confidence seep through. And the more you, I know the first couple times,

I did it, I felt uncomfortable. I was just like, why am I putting on these jeans? I never wear jeans, right? But the more I did it, it became my new norm, right? I believe people will say it takes 21 days to set a new habit. I’m not a habit girly. I just, you know this, like I struggle with establishing new habits. But if you just take the next month and say, you know, twice out of this week, I’m going to intentionally pick out my outfits.

I’m going to intentionally try to wear everything in my closet and the things I don’t wear, I’m going to donate to someone in need. I promise you, you’ll start to, you know, gravitate more towards picking clothes that you feel confident in, that you feel secure in, but then also where your personality starts to shine through your outfits, because that’s the intention. And there’s so many personalities you choose from, and you could also create a new personality. There’s nothing saying you have to fit something that already exists in the market.

Just finding things that make you feel comfortable for sure.

Jess (09:57.838)
Yeah, I think part of this whole breaking your own comfort barrier stems from your friend group as well. And I think a lot of us women in particular, this episode is definitely curated more towards women men have men can have their styles. But I think we it’s a joke that they all have they have five colors, the same shirt, just different variations of it. But with women, we fall into this habit of asking our friends, what are you wearing tonight? Because you don’t want to

Samantha Swann (10:06.018)
Thank you.

Jess (10:27.598)
stand out, you don’t want to dress inappropriate for the occasion at hand. And I think that’s a shift I’ve noticed myself since like becoming friends with you is I don’t necessarily ask that question with I need help with what I should wear. I ask him or so like, I just want to know what you’re wearing. But I’m also I’m going to wear what I want to wear for this event, or like for the Whitewater Center for going out to the bars for going out for lunch or dinner. It’s

Samantha Swann (10:51.234)
Yeah, definitely. And I get that question a lot. I feel like a lot of my girlfriends reach out and ask me every single time we’re going out, Sam, what are you wearing? Because I want to match your vibe, right? And I value those those questions, right? And I try to give them back the most accurate answer I can. But unfortunately, there are times when I start to put that outfit on and I’m like, I don’t like this. I don’t feel comfortable. I, you know, have like body image dysmorphia. And I think a lot of people struggle with that.

Jess (10:55.79)
What do I feel in that moment and how do.

Jess (11:01.71)
Mm -hmm.

Samantha Swann (11:21.026)
So with that, I think, just a few things with that. One, we don’t dress for other people, we dress for ourselves. You don’t dress for your girlfriends, you dress for yourself. Because then in a day, your friends want you to feel comfortable, right? So if you feel most comfortable and wearing cute sweatpants and a crop top, well sweetie, you go to dinner and sweatpants and a crop top. And if they’re your true friends, they won’t be bothered, right?

If they are bothered, you should probably think about finding new friends. And I’m happy to be your friend, so reach out to me. I’m definitely happy to always have new friends in my life. But with that, I say, find the outfit that fits the environment. Because probably when you were shopping, you found cute outfits. Like if I was going to a nice dinner, this is what I would wear, right? Everyone has that, if I’m going to celebrate a friend, I’m going to wear this. Then you will intentionally say, I’m going to wear that. That’s what I’m wearing.

but you choose what works best for you. And you show up in that outfit, right? Because of course you don’t want to wear something where you feel super uncomfortable. I’ve definitely done it where I’ve worn like heels that are too high or things that are too loose. And I just felt uncomfortable the entire night or like there’s certain material that really makes me sweat, right? And I stay away from those outfits. And I’ll realize I’ll put it on and I’ll be like, why am I sweating right now? This is absolutely ridiculous, right? So you know your body best.

So when getting dressed, even if your friends are asking or your boss is asking or your mom or anything, always, always, always dress for yourself. And when you’re shopping, that’s why I said the intention is to try everything on to see if it’s a good fit. I know not everyone feels comfortable trying on things in the store and I get that. Use the return policies at stores, okay?

that like literally use them. That’s what they’re intended for. If you take something home, we’ll always ask before you buy something, what’s their return policy because some places you can’t return and that place, you know, you can try in a store if you don’t feel comfortable doing it. Don’t shop at that store. Just just leave like put it down. Be like, hey, I said I can’t try this on in my home. I’m just not going to shop here. And that’s okay. There’s tons of stores out there, tons of boutiques online that have great exchange policies. But, you know, try it on.

Samantha Swann (13:33.89)
If you get home and you’re like, I don’t like this or you’re in the store and you’re like, I don’t like this, you like it the most when you’re buying it. It’s not when it gets home and sits in your closet. So if you put something on and all your girlfriends are like, wow, Jess, that looks amazing, but you feel seriously uncomfortable, take it off immediately. Like just be like, I personally don’t wear florals. I will break out in hives. I tell all my girlfriends this.

I will not wear it. So as much as they tell me, Sam, you look amazing in that floral shirt or that floral dress. No, I don’t. No, I don’t. So it takes for me to be self -aware of that by going and just trying on things and seeing, but then also at the same time, just being self -aware and saying like, no, that’s a strong line. Like I will not do this. So I hope that answers your question, Jess, in regards to, you know, just how do you combat…

you know, your friends asking you like, you know, what are you wearing this evening? And then feeling that anxious anxiety of really, what am I wearing? Right? You’re going to wear what you’re most comfortable in that evening. Right? And don’t, I would say, don’t take too much pressure into yourself or put too much pressure on yourself to lean into like, it has to be formal dress or it has to be business casual or it’s casual. Right? That is just,

such a wide category for business casual. I have made ripped jeans, a sloked satin shirt and heels work as business casual. Okay. And people are like ripped jeans are not business casual, but they actually are. Right. It’s very casual. It falls into the gene category. I’m not talking about super destroyed where my thigh is all the way out of my jeans, but like a small like little, you know, hole by your knee is not going to bother anyone. Right.

So there’s lots of ranges and just use Pinterest to look up what these influencers are putting out there because they get paid. This is their job to build like outfits for you. So it’s not really this huge leap for you to have to find things. It’s just about like exploring what’s already out there.

Jess (15:44.942)
Yeah, and I think it’s also to say that it’s not like you shouldn’t ask your friends for their opinion either. Like if you’re unsure of an outfit, let’s say you if you are stepping out of your comfort zone, you’re like your brain is going to talk to you and be like, Whoa, you look terrible. Do not wear that. When in reality, you probably don’t look terrible. You probably look great. It’s just your mind playing tricks on you. Send a picture to your friends. That’s what they’re there for. Like, what does this look like? Is this a good outfit? Or is this a better option?

and let them help you pick, but then still go with the outfit. Like you pulled it out of your closet, you put it on, you originally bought it for a reason. It’s your brain. Your brain likes to mess with you and know that that is a very real, very common experience for you to have. And that’s what girlfriends are for.

Samantha Swann (16:32.642)
Exactly. And I also would challenge the idea of men only have five outfits that they rotate. I encourage all my guy friends to step outside their comfort zone and buy new colors as well, because I don’t feel like the male species is lost. I just feel like they don’t know what they don’t know, right? So being friends with Sam doesn’t matter your sex or your age. I’m going to encourage you to step out your comfort zone and

Find an outfit that makes you stand out because I am confident when people feel like they look good, they do good. And I want all my friends, everyone around to feel good and look good. So I encourage my guy friends that are listening to this series and this podcast, buy a purple shirt, buy a pink shirt, do something outside your comfort zone. Because the worst case that could happen is you don’t like it and then you don’t have to do it.

and then you can donate that shirt or return it, because we use return policies here. Top retailers I shop at is Target and Express. Express return in 30 days, whether you buy it online or you buy it in store. Target for their clothes is a year that you can return things. So again, definitely encourage you to just try it. If you don’t like it, return it. Try something else. But staying stagnant and staying in your comfort zone,

It only hurts you unfortunately, so definitely take the step in the leap to like stand out from others for sure.

Jess (18:02.83)
Yeah. Can you talk about your own experience with wearing your closet? So like how has this shift in how you approach your wardrobe or approach shopping just around clothes helped transform your own confidence and your own mindset?

Samantha Swann (18:19.81)
Yeah, that’s a pretty loaded question. I know we don’t have all day to be on this podcast. So I’ll try to make it short and simple, but also be in depth because I do feel like sharing my own life experiences has impacted others to do the same. So with that, I didn’t start, this has been my life forever. I honestly didn’t start wearing my closet fully until about a year and a half ago when I met a specific girlfriend.

who encouraged me to add more color to my life. Prior to that, I was already leaning into the fact that I wanted a new version of Sam. I think everyone gets to the point in your life where you’re like, I want a new version of me, I hate this current version. And I was already doing the self work with like figuring out my mental health and my emotional health and just, you know, talking through things. But the next thing to work on was my appearance. Like, okay, I can do all this stuff internally, but if I don’t show it externally, like, is it beneficial, right? So with that,

I just started going in my closet and be like, with the version of myself that I’m trying to achieve, the goal version of me, does she wear these items? Who is that woman? Does she wear skinny jeans or does she wear flare jeans? Is she a business woman who only wears blazers all the time or is she a girly who wears, she wears cocktail dresses? Who is this person that I am hoping to become one day?

doesn’t have to be exact design, just intentionally thinking about the person that I want to become, who is that person? Because I have to show up as that person before I become that person. It’s kind of like, I don’t know, the pro to imposter syndrome, right? Like, you know, I am going to fake it until I make it. If I show up every day looking like the person that I’m trying to achieve, then eventually I’ll become that person and it’s gonna happen without me knowing it. Just one day I’m gonna wake up and be like,

this is my new norm, this is who I am, right? So I personally intentionally sat down and like, like wrote, like journaled, like who is that successful person? Of course that doesn’t just tie into her outfits and ties into her activities, but with outfits, she has, you know, a wide range of, of clothes and options to choose from. She has everything from flip -flops to high heels, and then everything from workout wear.

Samantha Swann (20:45.634)
to being the CEO of a company. She has everything far in between, a wide range of colors as well. Of course, like financially, I could not just go out and buy all these things at one time. So it was like picking slow things like, okay, I’m just casually thrifting the day. wow, there’s this nice shirt. Let me just try it on to see what it feels like. wow, I like this shirt. It’s only $10. Okay, at home, I know I have this pair of jeans that I think will pair well with this.

Let me buy this one token, this one shirt that’s $10 and then go home and see how I can, you know, use it with things that are already in my closet. So I slowly started to do that where I would just pick up like random things while I was out, bring it home, pair it with other things, just.

Having literally like I was a little girl again, like having like a dress up session in my house where I have a mirror and I’m just trying on different things. I’m like, wow, that’s a cute outfit. Wow, that’s a cute outfit. And for a little while I had to take pictures of the outfit and put it on my phone. So I’d be like, okay, that’s how I styled that because what sucks is you’re getting ready for an event with a girlfriend to go out and you’re like, what am I gonna wear? Wait, I have a whole album of different photos that I can choose from. So I did that for a little bit.

just so I could like remember the way I was styling outfits, because I’m not like a fashion designer. So I’m just out here trying things. But then the more I did it, the more compliments I got, the more people were actually like, wow, I really like your outfit. And I was like, wow, I actually, okay, cool, that’s awesome. It just made me want to do it more. And then on top of that, I just felt better. I felt better than just waking up throwing on leggings and sweatshirt, because in college, all I wore were leggings, random sweatshirt and tennis shoes.

That’s it. I never even thought to accessorize and add earrings. I never thought to add like belts to my outfit or try different colors. I was a very neutral girl. And you can still be a neutral person. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with neutrals, but when you start to incorporate life, just, I mean, color slowly, but surely into your wardrobe, there is an enhancement because again, like it plays off of the sun and like what people see and people are attracted to.

Samantha Swann (22:54.146)
at the color they just are like we all are that’s why stoplights are red and green and yellow this is why you know the sky is light blue this is the reason why people pay attention to the flowers blooming in spring like as humans we like color so if you’re wanting to be more open if you’re going on a first date or you’re just like in an environment like maybe a social event where you’re going to a networking event like just putting on like a bright color that stands out from everyone else is wearing black whites and neutrals in the room.

And then just come back and let me know how that impacted because that those are the things that helped me get to where I am today for sure.

Jess (23:32.686)
love all that I especially love I want to reiterate it to remind the audience listening the taking pictures of the outfits that you create so that you have a bank and just adding in color like why were why you should have color in your wardrobe because those humans were naturally attracted to different colors so that was all just so amazing I loved it all I want to ask for someone who doesn’t know style

and is like very insecure about their own style, how can they get started in finding their style and allowing that the basically like, I want to read read or re ask that. Hold on.

Jess (24:17.55)
How can someone start adding in those new clothes piece by piece without gravitating to their normal way of buying clothes? Like I know I gravitate towards the things that I know already work rather than wanting to branch out with something new. So how can we start to make that bridge into redefining your personal style?

Samantha Swann (24:39.938)
Yeah, that’s a really good question. How do you get started? Like, you know, I would personally take inventory of a closet, open your closet, pull out every single thing in your closet and take inventory of what’s in there and see if there’s anything in your wardrobe that you’ve just been holding off. You’ve just been like, not today. I’m waiting for the special moment. I, you know, I’m saving that for a trip that I haven’t even planned yet. Maybe one day, the one day outfits.

take the one day outfits and make them now outfits. I’m personally in my journey, I could personally go to Trader Joe’s in a ball gown and I’d be uncomfortable for five seconds. And then I’d be like, no, I love it here. Like, where else are we gonna wear this ball gown, right? But I bought this outfit for me to wear. I was super excited about it where it’s a mini skirt or it’s a tank top.

or it shorts, whatever it is. Like I bought this for a reason. Why have I not worn it? Typically when my girlfriends, you know, goes to their closet and they take inventory of things, they’re like, wow, like I totally forgot about this. Or I just never have the correct top to wear that, right? Just take that item and then start to figure out how you can pair it with things that are already in your closet. I’m confident that there’s something in your closet you can slowly build around it.

If it’s like a pair of shorts and you’re like, I don’t have this shirt for it. That’s a small investment. Maybe it goes with a nice white cream tank top that you can get off Amazon for 10 bucks, right? It could be a small fix. It doesn’t have to be this huge overhaul. But the more you start to wear everything in your closet, you’ll get rid of the things you don’t wear. If you take inventory of your closet and those things no longer fit and you’re like, wait, that’s no longer my style. I bought that and now I’m a totally different person.

you’ll get rid of it and make room for something new. So few things. One, take inventory of your closet. See what you’ve been holding out. If there’s anything you’ve been holding out, try to build an outfit around that at the lowest cost possible. If you take inventory of your closet and you realize most of the stuff you bought that you haven’t worn and it just doesn’t fit or it’s no longer your style, donate it. There’s so many great organizations that you can donate to, whether it’s a women’s shelter or it’s Goodwill or it’s Salvation Army.

Samantha Swann (27:01.794)
Or even someone you just know locally, like, you know, well, I can’t fit I have so many girlfriends like give me clothes just because Sam, you’re the size and I’m not that size, right? And I want to give this to you. So just giving back anytime we can. But then also, we if you do end up going thrifting or going to a local shop or anything, like just look for you know, a replacement item. Okay, I donate these shorts, I’m just going to buy one piece of shorts. I would love to say that everyone on this

on this podcast today, we’ll get a $500 gift card. But unfortunately, I don’t work for any organizations like that, where I can give that out. But I start small, it doesn’t have to be this huge overtaking. It doesn’t have to be rip everything out of your closet and throw it out and start fresh day. If you want to do that. I mean, that’s aggressive. But it’s your life. But for everyone else who’s just like, I just want to ease into it slowly. Take inventory and then go from there.

Jess (28:01.902)
Yeah, it’s like a habit. One shirt at a time or one outfit at a time and not everything all at once. See what you are liking, see what you’re molding into, what you’re getting compliments on, which actually on that topic, I want to talk about repeating outfits. Because I know that there’s a running joke of, if I didn’t take a picture in this outfit, that means I can wear it again. How do you approach wearing your closet with…

Samantha Swann (28:09.378)
Exactly.

Jess (28:28.078)
repeating outfits like where is it okay? Is it always okay? Is it like, hey, you’ve worn the same thing three times in a row, maybe let’s let’s change it up a little bit. But where’s outfit repeating fit in with wearing your closet?

Samantha Swann (28:42.882)
Yeah, I, outfit repeating definitely exists just because none of us are rich millionaires. If you are, I love that for you get a new outfit every day. But for the normal, you know, everyday goers like myself, outfit repeating is okay. It just depends on what are you repeating it for? If you’re always going to girlfriends or dig it during split girlfriends or brunch in the same outfit.

why are you always gravitating towards that same outfit? I know that it might feel comfortable to wear that one dress, but ever you ever tried putting on shorts and a tank top with it? Maybe instead of, you know, wearing shorts in the tank top, maybe you put on a long floral dress that goes down to the floor. It’s okay to outfit repeat. I just would say caution around doing it every single week.

I feel like that’s too much. You shouldn’t be wearing the same outfit that you wore on Tuesday, the next Tuesday. But then I get that not that many people have the luxury of having large closets. So switch up your outfits as you are able to. Maybe there’s an additional accessory you can add to it. Maybe when you wore that white tank top.

you paired it with black jeans, which is super cute, but have you ever thought about adding a gold necklace to it? Or you put on a blazer over it. Instead of wearing flip -flops, you put on loafers. You could definitely elevate an outfit. I’ve definitely outfit repeated, but changed the shoe and the accessory, and it changes the whole outfit. When it’s winter, it’s, I honestly hate the winter months because it’s cold, but it honestly works best for my outfits because I can layer.

So when I, you know, in the summer I’ll throw on a tank top and jeans and heels and we get to go. But in the winter, I can throw on more things. I can throw on my leather jacket over that and then plus gloves and then now a little hat and it’s a whole different outfit than it ever could be in the summer. So layers are definitely your friend. You can either layer in the summer, but you might layer with jewelry, stack your rings on your hand or your bracelets. Also just, you know,

Samantha Swann (30:59.874)
adventuring out with shoes. I love being a girl because we have more shoe options than guys will ever have. And I just think that’s because we’re the faves. But for the guys, instead of just wearing sneakers all the time, you can wear you can get a nice pair of loafers or even a brand I really adore is Kohan. They have it for male and female. Great comfortable walking shoes, just another selection that you can wear if you’re not thinking of I need to wear like my suede loafers that I only wear to weddings. So definitely.

Hey, like I would just say take time to research of what’s out there. Cause I think a lot of times people outfit repeat because they don’t know different styles. And I think that’s the cool thing of we continue to evolve as a human race. New creators are always hitting the market. So there’s new style out there that you might actually resonate well with, but you don’t know about it yet. So one thing I personally do is I have Pinterest boards and anytime I see something as I’m scrolling and I like it.

I go ahead and pin it. And anytime I’m like, wow, I inventoryed my closet, you know, for this season, I don’t have anything. I go to that board and I might start to buy things from that, from these creators that I follow. So lots of different options that you can choose from. But outfit repeating, I would actually try to find the why and why your outfit repeating. If it’s because you don’t have that many options, that makes sense. Yes, please wear your closet. No one’s saying like,

going to debt to have new things in your closet. But if you’re outfit repeating because you just don’t know what’s out there, maybe doing more research to find different options and ways you can like spaz up your wardrobe. But yeah, yeah, if you’re washing your clothes, you’re fine. Wear the clothes that you have.

Jess (32:41.966)
always think of the soundbite but from the Lizzie McGuire movie of Lizzie McGuire, you’re an outfit repeater. It’s like I may be an outfit repeater, but you’re an outfit remember. That’s just what goes into my head. But I’ll be the first one to admit I am close minded around styles. Like I’m in it part of it is the I get overwhelmed when shopping. There’s so many options that I’m like, I don’t know what to pick. Or if the store is very cluttered. I’m overwhelmed and I’m overstimulated. I have a very low

Samantha Swann (32:52.45)
yet.

Jess (33:11.758)
attention span or even low tolerance for shopping. So that makes it a lot more difficult. And I’m also someone that doesn’t love shopping online, because I want to try it on before I put it on my credit card, even though it’s easy to return. So how can someone who’s like me, start to branch out when shopping is a very overwhelming, tedious, exhausting task, but we also know it’s important.

Samantha Swann (33:36.546)
Yeah, no, definitely. Shopping is very exhausting. It feels like it’s an all day event. It doesn’t matter who you are. Just some people enjoy it being an all day event. And some people are like, I’m just going to go home. I have sweatpants in the closet, right? I would say for this follow, like work smarter, not harder. And with that, follow influencers who you resonate well with, who you’re like, when I look at myself, this is someone that I see similar, not one to one.

talking about comparison to someone you admire, somewhere you’re like, wow, I admire their style, follow. And if they do anything like outfit boards or they have the click to know, like they have direct links to their outfits, well, you don’t have to do the shopping. They’re going to do it for you. Like it’s okay to steal outfits from people on the internet that you do not know because the likelihood of you guys wearing that same outfit at the same time is so small. You should just do it, right?

I personally follow influencers that I love and adore. They are not always the same size as me. They’re, you know, I just admire them. And when they have a nice outfit and I’m looking for something new to add to my wardrobe, I shop on their influencer links. And then it’s quicker. I read the reviews on of course, like how it’s sized and how it’s fit. But then I’ll just go ahead and buy it. But if I want to try something on, most of those influencers shop with brands that have still brick and mortars.

So you can also just, you know, only shop their brick and mortar links. Like I want to go into Zara and try it on. And that’s okay. I would just say work smarter, not harder. There’s people out here that this is their whole career. This is what gives them passion and joy. If they enjoy doing it, then do it. Also, if you would like to like, you know, hire a personal stylist to do the shopping for you and they bring you options, that’s another thing you can do. But then also looking into…

looking into different brands who allow you to try before you buy. Amazon Prime actually has this and they’ve stolen it from our free brands that are out there. I’m pretty sure people on this call have probably seen the Amazon Prize where it says try before you buy where they’ll ship it to you, you try it on if you don’t like it, you send it back but you haven’t bought it. They’re just kind of like, hey, we don’t have a dressing room so here you go in the comfort of your home. Using options like that, I feel like could definitely help.

Samantha Swann (36:04.318)
with getting out of your comfort zone, even if it’s overwhelming at first.

Jess (36:09.326)
Okay, yeah, that makes sense. It’s something I need to pay more attention to. Like, I always think it’s the TikTok shop is a scam or just like, they’re just trying to sell me something I’m going to keep scrolling. But maybe now I will take a step back and be like, wait, do I like this style? Do I and start, start paying attention to people’s styles? That’s something I don’t typically do. Unless it’s making a statement is standing out like your style does stand out. So I do take notice. But

It is hard. I know I’m not alone when I feel like shopping is a chore. So it’s why we’re having this conversation and why it’s important to wear your closet and change it up and go through and clear out last season things, but not necessarily in like they’re not trending anymore, but more so on the side of you don’t like the way they look on you anymore. You haven’t worn it for that entire season. You’re probably not gonna wear it next season either.

Samantha Swann (37:05.698)
Exactly. That’s exactly right, Jess. And it’s also just don’t put it on the back burner. Don’t it’s definitely a priority as is like cleaning out your fridge, right? I hope you do that on a ongoing basis to clean out your fridge and make sure you don’t have moldy food on there. So it’s the same thing. I personally check my closet once a season. So fall, spring, summer and winter, I just go in my closet because of course I’m prepping for that season. Like are my jackets out?

Jess (37:32.974)
Mm -hmm.

Samantha Swann (37:35.042)
Do those sweaters still fit? The shorts I wore last year, like I know I gained weight. Did that, do I need to like, you know, get more or am I doing something different? Like just constantly be aware of what’s in your closet. One, so you make sure that you didn’t just lose a sock in the dryer, but also so you already have an idea of what your outfits are. Like I know what my summer wardrobe closet looks like. So I already have like go -to ideas in my head. And simpler the better, like don’t like,

overestimate this. I think as females, we have like the easiest, easiest, easiest way of just simplifying our our outfits is just by throwing on a dress. Very simple or joint throwing on a jumpsuit or a romper, right? It’s a one piece ensemble, you throw it on. wow, you look amazing, girl. Throw on some heels, walk out the door, grab a bag, you’re good to go. Right? We don’t have to think like always like shirt, pants, socks, like, you know, we have the opportunity to like switch it up and just go.

And that’s a perk. So sometimes I’m just like, I’m going with the girls. I’m going to wear this pink jumpsuit. And then that’s it. That’s the only thing I have to think about. I don’t need to think about like, ugh, this dress of what shirt is going to go with those pants? Does that go with the shoes? It’s one thing, one accessory. I’m out the door. So simplifying my life and not overthinking it.

Jess (38:54.83)
Can you off, so off the record, you and I talked about how you got to where you are today in terms of your style. When you started this whole rebranding of who Sam is and who you want Sam to be. Can you talk about the transition from like the neutrals to the colors, like how someone can get started from that side of things rather than getting started, which was a great piece of advice of getting started by going thrifting and being like, I like this shirt. So kind of more so from.

the blanket foundational sense of adding in accessories before going into the colors and the patterns and the more bold pieces.

Jess (39:40.622)
I know it keeps freezing. Do you need me to repeat?

Samantha Swann (39:43.458)
No worries, no worries at all, Jess. Yes, I could definitely talk about how I transitioned from like having my neutral, like, okay, I have my basics. Now that I have my basics, how do I enhance and take it to the next level, right? I honestly was just influenced, right? Like I was aware of what my foundational style was, but now I’m open to adding sparkly new things, right?

Jess (39:55.982)
Mm -hmm.

Samantha Swann (40:11.938)
So I actually just became really close to a girlfriend who I admired her style. And when we started hanging out and going out, of course she was like, Sam, why are you always wearing neutrals? Add color to your life, right? So I was influenced as we all are, right? And who you’re around influences who you are. That’s just the way it is, right? So there’s something to be said about being around people. Like you said, like you admire my style, right? I’m not saying that’s why we’re friends.

but you’re around me and you admire my style. So you talk to me about like, hey Sam, like I love that shirt you’re wearing or that jumpsuit you’re wearing. Where did you get it from? Right? Ask your friends. If you see them with something nice on, ask them where they got it from. Right? Especially as you now have an eye or wear, like when you actually intentionally say, I’m going to work on myself and I’m going to intentionally add color to my life, you’ll start paying attention to who’s wearing color around you because you’re obviously doing research unintentionally, but you’re doing it. So if you’re on the train and you see someone,

with a nice like yellow shirt on, it might even be a man, right? Feel confident, walk up to them and say, hey, I just wanna let you know I love your shirt and it looks amazing. If they’re receptive to that feedback, your follow -up question be like, I’m just wondering where did you get it from, right? And they’ll be more than happy to tell you. And then if that’s something you like, then try to go find that link. They might not give you a direct link to it, but as they say, hey, I got it from, you know, TJ Maxx.

be a little struggle to find it because you take your max inventories different, but you can at least now know, let me go to JMAX and see what they have and see if they have something similar in stock, right? You might not get the one for one asset, but now you have a baseline of where you can at least start to explore to look for it. And you have to find your style. Because when I say color, color is a, it’s a broad topic, right? Like I’m wearing a red shirt right now, but my red shirt is could.

not be this bold, it might just be like stripe red stripes. It might be red polka dots. It might just have like a little red dot on it. And that still counts as adding color. It doesn’t have to be too much. It doesn’t have to be, you know, real obvious, but just specs of color definitely make you pop and stand out. Cause that’s what you’re looking for. I think today is just that extra pop. Maybe, you know, you don’t like.

Samantha Swann (42:31.234)
putting color in your actual clothes. Maybe you really are a neutral person, that’s fine. But you can add like gold jewelry or a nice bracelet or a wristlet that has color in it. Just so many options. I would just say wear the rainbow because at the end of the day, someone’s gonna stop you and say, hey, where did you get that from? Like, cause it caught my eye. You’re.

just playing with people’s mind and attention. And I love doing that. I really do love when people stare at me, but then I know some people don’t love attention. So that’s why I say you have to find what works best for you. Because while I wouldn’t mind 50 people staring at me and saying, wow, she looks amazing, other people might feel really self conscious with that. So if you’re one of those people that’s self conscious, like that’s okay. Maybe your pop of color is you have a gold bracelet that you wear, or you would involve colorful socks and you love for the colorful socks to show you.

wear a certain pair of sneakers. Just pecs, pecs, pecs, and then you’ll slowly start to evolve and find your own style.

Jess (43:31.406)
I think you bring up a good point, and it was something I wanted to talk to you about as well, of the people that don’t want to be noticed. And I had this conversation with a friend a couple of days ago where she specifically said she changed her style to help her blend in. So what happens with that person? They don’t want what they wear to be a conversation starter. They don’t want to turn heads. They want to fly under the radar.

but knowing that it is still important for them to develop their own personal style and brand, maybe in a less obvious way. So is that where like the little the subtle little things happen? Or is that the where what you’re comfortable in where something like I’m gonna let you talk. So how would someone who just wants to blend in with everyone around them and not stand out or not be bold approach this wearing your closet mentality?

Samantha Swann (44:23.586)
Yeah, definitely. I mean, up in a day, it’s all the things that we talked about, right? It’s still about being comfortable. It’s still about finding the style that best represents your personality. So, I mean, things that make us blend in are neutrals for sure. So maybe instead of wearing like a bold yellow, you wear a light gray, right? You wear things that are very like soft tone, things that are not like eye catching.

It could be like a light gray, maybe browns or anything. There’s so many tones of browns. You have tan, you have sand, you have dark brown, just so many like neutral browns. I think when I actually look at a color palette, I’m just always shocked with how many tones of black and gray and browns they are. But then also navy blue is a neutral color. So I would say to those people,

That is one, okay, it’s your personal style. There is no right or wrong to this. There is no, you know, great report card like, you get an A++ for wearing that outfit today. No, it’s one, you’ve taken inventory of your attire closet, you know what’s in it. You feel comfortable with every single item in your closet. So any random Tuesday, you go in your closet and say, I’m gonna wear that today and feel okay with wearing it. And then,

it represents your personality to make you feel good. Because again, Jess, when you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you do good. Which is the whole point in wearing your closet is at the end of the day, you should feel confident and good in what you’re wearing so you’re not distracted by what you have on. You can go through your full day and not be thrown off by the fact like, my feet hurt, my head hurts, this shirt’s too tight. I don’t like the way these pants make my thighs look.

Like it’s not meant to be a distraction. It’s meant to help you have ease and peace with your appearance. So then you can go do what you actually are passionate about. It’s the same thing as when you do your hair or you wash your face or you take a shower and you don’t have body odor. It’s meant to be an add on like to help you continue to focus on what you’re gonna do and not be a distraction. If you want your outfit to be a distraction, it can be. I do it sometimes because I just wanna throw the world off because I think that’s amazing.

Samantha Swann (46:44.866)
But really it’s just meant for you to be able to focus on your day and feel confident doing so.

Jess (46:50.318)
And I think that goes back to that fine line of balance of going from your comfort zone to something new. Like when the day you came over to my apartment and picked out the outfit for me to wear for us to go meet our other friends, I was so uncomfortable in that outfit. I don’t like having to adjust my clothes. I…

I did not want to wear that at all. I was like, I bought it and I just it just feels like it’s a size too small and I don’t want to wear it and you were hyping me up and you’re like, No, you look amazing. This outfit is amazing. You’re gonna wear it. Like end of end of the conversation. And going out I for the first time, probably in a really, really long time, if not ever. I don’t remember the last time this happened is I was getting constant compliments on my outfit.

people were taking notice of it not in a way of like, my god, what is she wearing? But in you look so cute, like it was something so new, that it was very uncomfortable. And I did have to adjust things I was definitely it was definitely like tight in areas that I was like, I’m like, I don’t I don’t love this. But it was something new. And I think having that support system to hype you up when you are testing your own waters is really, really important. But it is it’s a balance and it’s

It is scary and it is uncomfortable and there’s some things in life that you’re going to need to do if you want to change what you’re currently experiencing and if it has to do with your style, with your wardrobe, then that’s what that means. That’s what that looks like, but know that it is a very normal experience to have.

Samantha Swann (48:22.082)
Most definitely, but Jess, it goes back to what you were ultimately saying. It’s change. It’s different. It’s new. It’s outside the box. Of course you feel uncomfortable. You’ve never done it before, right? And that’s okay. Everyone, no one is watching you. Everyone is focused on themselves. No one is going to remember what you wore on the random Thursday to the local grocery store. No one is going to remember, you know, you wore this to the movie theater. No one’s, no one’s focused on you. They’re only focused on themselves.

Jess (48:26.158)
Mm -hmm.

Samantha Swann (48:50.69)
I promise you this and you want to test this theory you can ask people about things and then come back to see if they remember because I promise you they can’t remember but with that that’s why it’s so important to show up for yourself and Find things that make you happy having a support system does matter Let your friends, you know compliment you ask them for their opinions when you go shopping if you’re like, you know Hey, this is so new for me. I don’t know what to buy, but I love your style. Would you come with me?

Let them come with you. Let them help you pick out things that they think that they would wear and then see if you would wear that as well, right? Like take in as much insight as you can and make it your own. This has been to be fun. It started out as I wanted to be a new version of Sam and now my closet’s my playground. I go in there and I pick out clothes and I’m like, I’m gonna wear that on the train today. And people were staring at me like, is she wearing a purple jumpsuit? I am, and it looks amazing.

And they’re asking me where I got it from. I got it from Express. I’m making a small change in the world because when you show up as your authentic self, you inspire the world. And at the end of the day, I think this is a small way we change the world is by inspiring it every single day. Every single time I show up as my authentic self and I wear my closet and I’m like, I wear this because I look amazing. I’m probably inspiring another little girl to be like, I can’t wait to be her when I grew up or another mom who’s

you know, rediscovering her body and it’s like, wow, I love her dress. I’m going to go ask her where she got that from. I come in contact with so many people just because I’m wearing my outfit and they look, Sam, you look amazing. And then some people don’t like it and that’s okay. It’s not their outfits that I don’t have to wear it. So again, it’s free to mind your business. But if someone asks me like, hey, like, you know, why are you wearing that outfit? Because it’s Tuesday. Need a reason to wear it. Tuesday.

Jess (50:48.142)
I will say being around you has made me more daring to step into the side of my closet that I usually ignore. So you’re inspiring me if it’s not some other little girl. I know I wanna be you when I grow up. You’re already making a change in one person and now being on this podcast is why I wanted you to be a guest so that you can inspire others as well because you made such an impact in my life and what I wear on a regular basis.

wearing a freaking dress to lunch. I don’t wear dresses. I don’t wear skirts either. But I do now I do because Sam has opened this door to curiosity for me and has allowed me the space to explore what my style is. And I know she is just gonna hype me up whenever she sees me. And that’s you need a Sam in your life. You can’t take mine, you might be able to take part of mine, but Sam’s mine. But it is it is so important it does.

change a lot of things. It changes how you feel about yourself and it helps you dress up and take notice of who you are rather than hiding behind your clothes. It’s allowing you to embrace what you’re wearing and who you are underneath those clothes as well.

Samantha Swann (52:04.13)
Yes, most definitely, Jess. I’m so happy I inspired you. I mean, that’s my goal every time I step out as who I am. That’s the version of Sam I wanted to get to was the same who’s her authentic self, who inspires others to be the same. So that feels amazing that I’ve done that for you. Again, just warms my heart. I know that my contact information will be listed. So if you’re listening to this podcast, you don’t know how to get started. You’re like, wow, Jess is hyping the Sam girl up. Like, who is this woman?

Who is she? I really would love to chat with her and talk to her about how I can apply these tips and tricks. Feel free to reach out to me. It’s casual. We can drink tea on FaceTime and connect. I’m always happy to share my wisdoms, my thoughts, and personalize it to you. I know it’s very hard to get started. I know it’s very hard to take inventory of what you have and let certain things go because you’re like,

wow, I really want to be that size. So first, I am on a weight gain journey. So of course, I buy things bigger than my current size. And then I’m like, wow, I’m not that size. And it’s just doing more harm for me. So I had to let those things go and find things that were my size and currently fit me now and grow with me as I grow on this journey. So it’s not deferential to my mental health.

So I would encourage everyone to take inventory of what you have in your closet and not inflict harm on yourself. Get rid of the things that you’re not wearing and make room for the things that will allow you to flourish just the current version you are. Because that’s all we have right now. It’s the present, we’re here in the moment, and it’s a great time to let yourself flourish like a butterfly.

Jess (53:53.102)
Yeah, it’s clothes that are meant to fit you, not the other way around. And thank you. You’re wrapping up this episode so beautifully, just naturally. But are there any final words of advice or pieces of wisdom that you want to share with the 20 something listening in regards to them wearing their closets?

Samantha Swann (53:58.242)
It’s like.

Samantha Swann (54:46.466)
Yeah, Jess, that’s a really good question to wrap it up, right? Like if you can say very high level, what would you say to people? I would say two things. One, stop saving the clothes in your closet for a special occasion, especially if that special occasion isn’t even here yet. It’s one thing if you already have your wedding dress planned out, yes, please keep that item like that is meaningful to you. But to the random t -shirt, the random cocktail dress, the random trench coat, like…

the fur coat, the fur boots, if you’re not wearing it now, why are you keeping it? Why are you saving it? What are you saving it for? I’m even someone that’s a trendsetter who would wear fur boots in the summertime because I’m just like, wow, it goes with this outfit. Like, yes, I know it’s hot outside, but this looks cute. And I make it look cute. I might put a little mini micro skirt on and be good to go. Right? So with that, I would say stop saving your clothes for special occasion and wear them today. Even if…

where you wear it today, it’s just a local bar that’s in your neighborhood or the grocery store or you put on a cute dress to go to the park and just sit out with your dog or read a book at a coffee shop or just go to Target. Your life is a special occasion, so start showing up for it. The second thing is dress for who you wanna be, right? The best way that you can break barriers and put yourself in rooms that you wanna be in is showing up.

as the person that you want to be when you’re in that room. I have walked myself in this tons of rooms and connect with so many people just because I already showed up as the person that I wanted to be in that room as. So definitely just pick a style that works best for you. And it’s okay if you don’t like it, change it. If you try to style and you’re like, hey, this is who I am in 2022 and now it’s 2024 and I’m someone different.

That’s fine. Fashion designers teach us all the time when they come out with new collections every spring, every summer, the fall collection, you know, they’re constantly reinventing their selves. So reinvent yourself. Always feel like the sky is the limit. You can achieve anything. It doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or you’re 65. You can always strive to be a different version of yourself. And anyone who’s telling you that you can’t be a different version of yourself, it’s not feedback to you. It’s their personal doubt in themselves.

Samantha Swann (57:11.234)
and do not allow someone else’s self doubt to define you. You know who you are so step into who you are.

Jess (57:19.758)
Love it. This was so amazing. Thank you so much, Sam, for coming on How to 20 something. I know your information will be linked in the show notes, but where can people find you if they want to connect with you or even see your own style or see who you follow or anything of the sorts?

Samantha Swann (57:36.098)
Yeah, definitely. So I’m definitely on Instagram. My username is pretty unique. You’ll have to get to know me to ask me why my username is what it is. But it’s Simba underscore blonde. So you can find me on Instagram. But if you aren’t on Instagram, as I know lots of people aren’t. I’m also on LinkedIn and I’m always okay with chatting. Again, my whole mission in life is to show up as my

authentic self doesn’t matter what environment I am in. So I do take my authentic self to corporate America each and every day. I’m always shaking the rooms that I step into. So if you don’t use Instagram and you still want to connect with me, you can find me on LinkedIn. My name is Samantha Swan. I don’t believe it’s hard to find me. But again, if you can get in contact with Jess, she’s happy to share her sand with you even though she said that she wasn’t on this call.

She’s happy to share me because sharing is caring Jess and we are nice humans. So yes, please reach out. Do not hesitate. Don’t leave a second guess and don’t be like, I don’t know her. I feel weird reaching out to her. No, it’s just a chat. It’s just a girl chat. I’m just a girl who likes to play in her closet like a Barbie. So let’s play together. That is all.

Jess (58:28.462)
I will.

Jess (58:46.478)
Hey, you guys, like I said, and like Sam said, it will be linked in the show notes. And yes, I will share my Sam with you. That’s why I brought her on here so that she could share her knowledge and her mind with the world. But this does conclude another episode of how to 20 something I want to thank you for tuning in each and every week. If you liked it, you heard please give this a good rating, share it with a friend or on social media and tag me at coach .js. Simon when you do and

always I can’t wait to be in your headphones again next week with another brand new episode.