Goal Setting: Are You Doing It Wrong?

Welcome back to How To Twenty-Something with today’s topic being about setting goals

And no this is not an episode teaching you about SMART goals, you know that acronym that gives you a checklist of setting a good goal, one that’s specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and timely

Like yes, I’ll be including parts of that concept throughout this episode, but I mainly want to help you get in the habit of creating goals, why you need to set them, what they do for you, and your perspective around achieving them

Which might seem obvious right now, but by the end of me talking today you’ll see what I mean and maybe you’ll realize that there is a better way to approach goal setting

I don’t want you to think that you’re doing it wrong, that’s just the title I came up with, and just like anything in life, there is more than one right way to do something 

However, you do need to set goals regularly, so if you aren’t then seriously take notes because it’s so important in all aspects of your life to feel like you are working towards something rather than just existing day in and day

It is up to you to combine what works best for your individual life and as always I’m here to remind you that this is part of what I help my clients with.. We set concrete goals in all aspects of your life in our very first session and then I reverse engineer the steps needed to take you from where you are right now to where you want to go

If there are parts of your life you’re wanting to work on then I highly recommend you head to the show notes and click the Road To Success Call link and schedule a call with me where we can discuss what you’re wanting to work on and if I’m the coach to help you achieve the life you’re after

Now that my mini sales pitch is done, let’s get into it

As I just said goal setting is important as it creates a foundational framework and gives you direction as to where you want to be taking action on to improve your overall quality of life, as well as your own personal development

When you break down your goals, which I will be explaining just how you can begin doing so, you are helping yourself to prioritize your schedule, time, and decisions according to what you’re after 

Your goals should be just out of reach where they aren’t guaranteed to achieve but possible, thus encouraging you to grow into a new level of your evolution

And as you strive for these results you acquire new skills and knowledge along the way and overcome challenges that come up, thus making you stronger as a person and giving you more confidence to continue to set goals

Goal setting is a never ending process and as you achieve one after another you subconsciously reinforce your own beliefs in yourself and your abilities to achieve the life you’re after

And as obstacles come up or as things shift unexpectedly you strengthen your own resiliency to other parts of your life as well.. You essentially learn to adapt to changing circumstances all while keeping your end goal in mind

Overall, setting goals for yourself on a regular basis is crucial to consistently improving your quality of life, they give you a roadmap to follow, and help you to realize what’s important to you in this phase of your life

Now that you have a grasp as to how important it is to set goals regularly, let’s get into how to properly make them and how to make them a continuous habit 

I want to start with the easiest way to remember to set goals and that is breaking them down into what you want to achieve in a quarter

This is the T in smart for timely, if you set goals in the way I’m about to tell you, then your timeframe will be in three month increments

If you don’t know, there are four fiscal quarters in a year, Q1 is January, February, and March; Q2 is April, May, and June; Q3 is July, August, and September, and Q4 is October, November, and December

You see, up until you entered the adult world, your school year was time chunked out for you

You had semesters and breaks all laid out where your focus was directed to that time in the year

Your goals were directed towards grades for that particular time period since you were starting and ending courses and they weren’t going to carry over into the next semester.

And every semester your grades started over and you were working towards achieving something new per that class 

You worked week by week to keep your grades up and absorb the knowledge needed to pass the midterm and final exams 

Maybe you even played sports through your school that only fell into fall or spring semester.. Like yes you were probably training year round but the actual season was chunked out for you where different achievements were brought into your focus

Like when I did gymnastics, we were in the gym year round and there was competition season where you’re fine tuning your routines and current skills and then off season where you were building on your skills and training to advance to the next level

When you enter the real world, it can feel very mundane and like you’re living the same day over and over again because nothing is chunked out for you any more, that is unless your job does operate on a quarterly basis

I know my corporate jobs didn’t, it may have for the people higher up in the corporate ladder, but for me it didn’t apply, and I’m sure that for a majority of you, quarters don’t really apply yet either

This phenomenon was actually brought to my attention when one of my clients, who’s in college, was mentioning she just needed to get through fall semester last year, and then take it one semester at a time from that point on

To which I told her to keep that mentality in mind for when she graduates and enters the adulting world, that you need to break the year up and set goals accordingly and take things one quarter at a time or even one month at a time

It’s daunting and demotivating to think you will be living roughly the same lifestyle for the next 40 years of your life

My first week of my first adulting job after graduation hit me with this realization that I’ve worked hard to get to this point in my life and it was such a let down and a depressing moment to realize it really wasn’t as hype as everyone seemed to make it out to be, which is a feeling we need to normalize

I do think that for about half of you, you are very okay with having this sense of a routine, but for the other half you can’t wait to find something in your life that grants you the time freedom and flexibility that comes with being your own boss – regardless of what you want for yourself you should still chunk out your year

When I became self-employed, I naturally started breaking up the year based on quarters and at the start of every quarter I wipe my whiteboard clean and write out the new goals I want to work towards for the next three months

And this is how I want you to start your goal setting process

This is also entirely coincidental, but definitely meant to be, that this episode is being released in the last week of quarter three, so you can begin brainstorming what you want to work on for the last three months of this year

I literally had to check my calendar as I was planning out this episode to see when it would be released and was so excited that the date is beyond perfect timing

So, get your whiteboards ready or even a pen and paper and let’s begin breaking down your goals for the rest of 2023

Which actually brings me to my first tip; you need to write down your goals and hang them up where you see them every day

It’s why I write them out on a white board, plus it’s more eco friendly, much bigger than a piece of paper, and is hanging in my room so it’s the last thing I see before I go to bed and the first thing I see when I wake up

As you begin to think about your goals for the next three months I want you to break them up into different categories

I’m going to give you some examples, but again like everything I talk to you about, adapt it to your own needs and future life you’re wanting to work towards

However, with that in mind, the very first goal any young professional would benefit from creating is a financial one

This could be a savings goal, a roth IRA or 401k goal, a High Yield Savings Account goal, which if you don’t have a High yield savings account please go to the show notes and click on the Marcus link as you’ll get a 5.3% return for your first three months

Meaning, and pardon the mini tangent, your money can sit in an account and make money for you so if you put in 10,000 dollars you would get 53 extra dollars this month just for existing

I will be bringing on a financial advisor or coach of some sort in the future but that’s my mini get you started spiel

Now, back to goal setting with your finances and what this could look like so you’re tracking it

I have a budget sheet so I know how much I’m netting at the end of each month and also through each quarter

On my handy dandy whiteboard I have boxes based on my financial income goals and I shade them in in 500 dollar increments so I can feel encouraged to keep working hard and proud of the progress I’ve made

It needs to be so top of mind so you actually are working to follow through on the goal you set out to achieve

And most importantly, you need to be specific and have a measurable outcome and yes this is the M and S in the SMART acronym

Asking yourself how much money you want to save and to where, so you’re working towards a finish line for these three months

Your goals need to have some kind of measurable outcome meaning you need to assign a number to it

My whiteboard typically consists of the number of clients I develop or continue a partnership with for that quarter, how many people I want to attend a workshop I’m creating, the amount of revenue I am striving to bring in, and any other goal but for me they are mostly centered around my business

Most of you who are listening are not self-employed so I am going to continue to exemplify how you can set up your own goals based on a standard young professionals life, because, after all, I am a coach for young professionals and this is who this podcast is primarily for

When you set a number, you can think of it as a form of manifestation, because that really is what manifesting is.. It’s having a certain outcome in mind and wanting it to happen so you are going to do what’s in your power to make it possible while also knowing that whatever happens is exactly what was supposed to happen

With all of that in mind, another type of goal you can make is a social goal, if you’re introverted like me, or new to a city then creating a goal to go to 3 networking events in a quarter, so essentially one a month, is a great place to start

My client, Nicole, who was on this podcast a few weeks ago just moved to a new city and has group networking goals, one on one friend goals, and couple outing goals to include her fiance; hers are monthly but if you’re new to this goal setting thing go with quarterly

Only because it will give you more time flexibility to achieve the goal you’re after

I personally had as part of my new years resolution to attend one networking event a month and I have successfully been implementing that goal for all of 2023 thus far

Some more social examples could be joining a new group, whether that be a local walking group, an improv class, toastmasters which is for public speaking, a group fitness class, a painting class, a kickball team, but something that puts you in front of new people to expand your social circle a little bit more

If you have travel goals or want to have travel goals, then what trip or trips do you want to get on your calendar for this quarter

How many trips do you want to take, where do you want to go, how long will they be, how much PTO do you have so you can take this trip, how much money do you want to set aside for this trip

Really get your mind thinking in the present but acting for the future so you do reach the sense of accomplishment when you can check it off once it’s completed

Goals in regards to your career could look like completing a project, seeking a job change or a promotion, speaking up in a meeting, finding a mentor, or connecting with someone in your industry that’s not at your workplace

Your fitness journey would be something like hitting PRs on certain lifts, running a certain amount of miles, working out 60 days in the 3 months which is usually about 90 to 92 days, or even trying a new form of working out every month like a dance class or rock climbing or pilates outside of what you normally do

Eating healthier would look like meal prepping lunch every week or not eating out more than 5 times a week, or reaching your protein targets every day for a week straight

Maybe you have goals you want to set within your relationship such as one really planned out date night a month, or a weekend getaway just the two of you, three check in conversations over the course of three months, asking each other for a rose and thorn from your day every day for a whole month

You don’t have to set goals in each of the categories I just mentioned, but you should be able to see what areas you want to improve upon in your life and create a goal for it

In order for them to be achievable and relevant, you’ll need to have a serious conversation with yourself and look at the way you are operating right now, in the present moment, and what you want to be doing, being, or having instead

For instance with that last example, if you are currently single then being in a serious relationship is a bit of a stretch for a three month timeline with no on the radar

Instead, you can set a goal to go on one date a month or maybe ask someone out that you have your eyes on and release the what happens next pressure that typically comes with dating

Start with the small step of one date and let go of the possible outcomes that could happen as a result because remember, we are not psychic

Or if you don’t go to the gym at all right now then setting a goal to go everyday or even 60 of the say 90 days is bit out of reach for right now; instead start with a goal of once week and if you go more that’s amazing and if you hit that goal that’s also amazing

What I don’t want to happen is for you to set a goal based on the motivation you feel right now, as that’s usually where people go wrong, they set unrealistic expectations because they are ready right now and then let themselves down and get discouraged when their motivation has diminished and it hasn’t become a habit yet

When you’re first starting out with a new goal, you need to make it realistically possible for you to achieve even on your worst day so you can continue to build that confidence and self-esteem in yourself and your abilities to follow through and succeed

But that is basically how the SMART goals acronym can show up when you’re thinking about what you want to create for yourself over the next three months and every time a new quarter begins

It’s really a guideline to help you gain clarity and direction for what you’re working towards, but it doesn’t end there

Something my coach taught me a year ago was to not be so married to the outcome and this is where the very overused but entirely relevant quote comes into play of it’s the journey not the destination

When you create your goals and attach a desirable outcome to it, I want you to work to shift your perspective on the chokehold that outcome has on you

You need the goal to help you make moves in the direction you’re wanting to go, but it’s okay if you don’t actually hit that target, what’s important is realizing that you wouldn’t have even taken one step towards that goal if you hadn’t created it

When you create your goals properly you are helping yourself to head in a specific direction rather than aimlessly floating around in this world living that same day over and over again

Goals help you figure out what you’re working towards, what you want to achieve in your life, and what you want to change or improve on

When or if you achieve the goal you set out on, life doesn’t just end there, as now you can create an even bigger goal and work towards that

Because of course I want to achieve the goals I create and you do too; it’s why we create them but when you set them properly they are going to be just out of arm’s reach and sometimes you aren’t going to accomplish them all, but it doesn’t mean that you failed and should give up

Rather, adjust your goal a little so you do achieve it next time or keep it where it is because you got so close last time and now you know what you need to do to get it this time

I had a business financial goal set since Q2 of last year and in Q3 and Q4 I got really close, Q1 of this year was a bit rough, I’m going to lie, but in Q2 I finally hit this goal

The goal never changed, because I knew I could get it as I kept getting so close and now I have my eyes set on a bigger one for this quarter

I see this concept of being so focused on the outcome come up in two primary places in people’s lives: their body and their work

I have clients that will come to me with a weight loss goal and I really work my hardest to get them to see that it’s not the number on the scale that should be the focus but the way they are showing up for themselves, the habits they can be proud of, and how good they feel in their body, rather than the pull gravity has on them which is what the information on the scale is telling them

Regardless, when someone has a weight loss goal, I always like to ask, what happens once you reach that weight? Are you just going to return to your old ways of being? Like yup I achieved the weight I was after now I’m good

No

Because that’s not how that works

Most people then create a new number, which again, is a very wrong way to approach it, but if you shift your perspective of what that number means to you, and if achieved correctly, then how good you feel mentally and physically while striving for that goal weight you start to develop a better relationship to the journey you are on rather than the final destination

Because even then, it’s not the final destination it’s a stop on your never ending journey on this lifelong path

In terms of your work, for those of you who are after that promotion, what happens after you get it? Do you just stop working hard or have you now reached a new level in your career and with that comes new responsibilities and new goals to work towards?

Once again, providing evidence that setting goals isn’t a start to finish process but an endless loop that keeps up-leveling as you reach those milestones

Goal setting becomes a lot more enjoyable when you perceive it as your continuous transformation process

It’s what one of my tattoos even represents.. In July of this year I got a tattoo that my brain thought of and then an artist brought to life and it’s a cross between an infinity symbol and the tree of life to signify continuous growth and prosperity, and to trust the process, it was my reward for successfully hitting my financial goal

The process is your journey that you have to do what’s within your control to make strides towards achieving your goal but also release the ending expectation and know that the outcome that will happen is what is meant to happen to lead you to your next path 

Like if you have a savings goal to save 1,000 dollars over the next three months but say you got to 800 and not 1000, instead of being down on yourself and saying mean things like you’re such a failure, praise yourself and acknowledge that you probably wouldn’t have saved anything had you not set out on the original goal

When you hate on yourself for not reaching your own expectations you demotivate yourself from continuing to set goals and continuing to grow into your next evolutions

As I’ve said several times now in different fonts; you’re not going to hit every goal the first time around, but you can collect the information of what you did well, what you can improve upon, and what needs to be adjusted so you can get even closer the achieving the goal the next time, if not actually achieve it and then be able to set a new and bigger one

But you need goals

You need to be striving towards something at all times in your life, instead of accepting life as what is it, because it can be so much more than that

The biggest thing that helped my mental health during the pandemic was when I set out on a goal to get my personal training certification because it brought drive and meaning towards my life

I was no longer existing in each day, but actually working towards accomplishing something

And everyone loves a sense of accomplishment, it’s a truly rewarding feeling but it does not exist without setting a goal first

[Pause] Okay so far we’ve uncovered the importance of goals, how to set them and how to set new ones consistently, the different ways you can categorize them, why you need them, and releasing the actual outcome you’re after 

The last piece of goal setting that I want to touch on is to celebrate your freaking accomplishments

Whenever I reach a goal I’m after my coach always asks me how I’ll be celebrating and this can show up in different forms like I’ve bought myself a bouquet of flowers when I signed my first client, a pull-up bar when I made more in one month than I did at my corporate job, and my tattoo I just described when I hit my quarterly goal 

Now, when my clients and friends have reached a big success moment in their lives, I immediately ask them how they are going to celebrate

Because you need to acknowledge that you did it, you need to send that message to the universe or whomever you believe in that you are appreciative of this moment and milestone and are ready to receive more abundance

So as you set your goals, plan out what your reward is going to be

It’s like your trophy for a job well done

It could be an ice cream treat, dinner at your favorite place, a trip to somewhere you’ve been wanting to go, a new pair of headphones, but something to signify your accomplishment

No one is going to pat you on the back for a job well done, so you need to be that person for yourself

Do what you need to do to feel appreciated and proud of yourself

Because you did do it, you sought after a goal and achieved it and now it’s time to create an even bigger one

And again, if you need help figuring out what goals you’re after and what you want to focus on for the next three months please reach out to me

Finish 2023 off so strong so you can enter 2024 with your chin up high and I know I am the coach that can help you do just that

The time is going to pass anyways, might as well invest in yourself and feel good about the life you’re creating

The link to my calendar is always going to be in the show notes for you to access and on that call we both get to decide if working together is your next best step, but either way the Road To Success Call will give you clarity about the life you want and some powerful breakthroughs as to how you can begin getting there

And of course, that journey starts with setting appropriate goals

Just know that I am only one call away from helping get where you want to go

As I wrap up today’s episode I do want to thank you for listening to how to twenty-something and for wanting to improve your life

If you liked what you heard please share it with a friend or on social media and tag me at coach.jessdiamond if you do, I want to expand my outreach to all of the young professionals that exist and I need your help to do so

And send me your goals that you are setting for the last quarter of the year, I want to know how you plan on ending 2023 with a bang

Otherwise, I’ll let you start your own brainstorming and I’ll be in your headphones with another new episode next Monday, until then I hope you have an amazing week