Why skinny doesn’t mean healthy

Welcome back to another episode of how to twenty-something where today’s episode is to actually talk about what i’ve been seeing across the media and how damaging it is to our minds as women

And before I actually dive into this episode I want to give a trigger warning that I will be discussing bodies, eating disorders, and other things related to being skinny so please stop listening if you do not want to hear about any of this or if it is a triggering subject for you

But this episode is that the skinniness epidemic is back.. Dun dun dunnnn

The accessibility of glp-1s like ozempic, monjaro, trizepitide, whatever name you want to call it is creating a mass exodus of obesity across the US

Now, you might be thinking:

“Jess, isn’t it a good thing if fewer people are struggling with obesity because of these medications?”

And in some cases, yes… these drugs can absolutely be helpful when used appropriately under medical supervision and in conjunction with a nutritionist or coach and personal trainer.

For someone who has diabetes or has a very bad relationship with food and an exceedingly amount of food noise in their brain which is when they are constantly thinking about their next meal.. this drug is phenomenal

These medications were created for metabolic disease and diabetes — not as a cultural shortcut to extreme thinness.

Unfortunately, I felt called to make an episode on this subject because of the people who are using this drug who aren’t obese or aren’t diabetic and simply do not want to have to think about food

I started creating this episode shortly after the oscars and celebrity’s bodies were being flaunted and honestly criticized but then those criticizing the bodies were getting criticized for criticizing

It’s a vicious cycle but worth talking about 

They looked frail and are promoting this fragility of the female body whether they realize it or not, solely because of their existence in the public eye

It has become so extreme and so unhealthy that no, I don’t think this is great

I think we have a problem

What we’re seeing now are celebrities and influencers becoming smaller and smaller, to the point where many of them are skin and bones

And the problem with this is that it doesn’t just stay in Hollywood.

It trickles down.

Little girls see it.
Women recovering from eating disorders see it.

Women with body dysmorphia or insecurities see it
The general public sees it and think they also need to change their body into a smaller form as it is once again the beauty standard

That if your bones aren’t showing and you’re not a size 2, then you are not beautiful

And I wanted to use my platform to discuss what you might not know what’s really going on behind closed doors and that is skinny does not mean healthy

It’s possible that logically you know that

That people with eating disorders have exemplified that and now, for some reason, skinniness is justified when it’s through weight loss drugs

Did you know that someone can be overweight and anorexic? Or have a healthy body weight and be anorexic?

It’s a disease that is not only in the form of seeing rib cages, spines, and shoulder bones, but this episode is on those shoulder bone moments

And constantly being shown women in the public eye getting smaller and smaller changes your relationship to your own body

Now, before I get any backlash for this episode around how you shouldn’t comment on other people’s bodies or body positivity or whatever

By refusing to have honest conversations about what healthy actually looks like, we leave people — especially young women — vulnerable to harmful standards being pushed by the media.

This is also not to say that you can’t be naturally skinny, there are people who are naturally skinny.. That’s not who I’m talking about here

Some people are genetically predisposed to smaller frames and always have been. Their bodies function well there. They have energy, stable hormones, and healthy markers.

But there is a big difference between being naturally thin and forcing your body to be smaller than it wants to be.

Your body has a natural range where it functions best. Where you have a regular period, good energy, clear skin, strong nails, healthy hair

And when you push it below that range through extreme restriction, over-exercising, or medication misuse, your body starts paying the price.

Bones can become weaker.
Hormones become disrupted.
Women can lose their menstrual cycle.
Energy drops.

Libido drops
Skin and hair health decline

Your bones are showing.. Your fucking bones are showing

It’s not safe.. It’s not healthy

And I’ll admit, I am someone does teeter on the naturally skinny side

I was super super petite growing up, I wore kids sizes until I was 15 or 16, and as I’ve managed my stress levels over the last year my body has been naturally losing weight and looking more like what I’m used to.. But I can confidently say I’m healthy

Here’s what I mean… I have a regular period, I am going up in weight in all of my lifts at the gym, my skin is clear, I have energy for anything I want to do, I don’t restrict foods unless I’m allergic to them, I can take a day off of working out and not lose my mind

I haven’t always been in this place, but these are the markers I use to explain what healthy skinny is

I’m the healthiest, strongest, most confident version of myself I’ve ever been

And when I hear other women say this and I can see their relationship to their body, food, and exercise I know they are lying to themselves

They are their smallest version, but they are most certainly not their healthiest 

I have a personal training client who is super super skinny but you can tell she’s naturally built that way

Because the biggest visible signs of who is naturally skinny and who isn’t can be first noticed in someone’s face

You don’t need to ask this person questions about their period, strength, eating habits, whatever.. You can immediately see two markers and the first one is a hollow face

Someone who is not naturally skinny looks malnourished… Their under eyes and their cheeks are are caving inwards

Versus someone who is truly skinny has life in their face

The second tell tale sign is being able to see the bone protruding out in their shoulder

Right where their clavicle and shoulder meet or their sternum is visible.. The bone in the center of their chest

Seeing someone’s clavicle is different than being able to see the joint itself

You should not be able to see that on someone even if they justify always having a boney upper body

No one’s upper body looks like that unless they are malnourished.. This may also include seeing someone’s rib cage or sternum

You can also look at someone’s butt.. Everyone has tissue in their butt even if they don’t have a big one… but it’s also one of the first things you lose when you lose weight 

So a saggy or boney butt versus a more plump, tissue and muscle filled one is also a big sign that something’s up

These were the first signs an old friend of mine was showing when she lost a lot of weight really quickly last year.. We’re talking 30 pounds in like 2 months when she didn’t have 30 pounds to lose and then lost about 10 or 15 more after that.. 

She probably had 15 she could lose but certainly not 30 and most definitely not at the speed she did

She started showing horrible signs… her face completely changed, she no longer had the capacity to do anything anymore, her bones were showing, her skin was loose

The way she visibly changed actually made me so uncomfortable to be around her since I’ve had my own battles with my body and was finally on the other end of that battle

And then her habits changed too and not in a good way.. Now she was chasing skinny

And that’s what I fear all of these celebrities trying to bring skinny back are doing to other girls who idolize them

It is extremely triggering and anyone who has ever had body image issues or eating disorders are stepping up and saying this is not okay

This is very very bad

We’ve gone backwards as a society

Where strong used to be the new skinny, skinny is once again the new skinny

Just like in the early 2000s

And I can confidently speak on all of this as someone in the fitness industry and who has had her own issues with her body and relationship to food and exercise

Jeannette mccurdy says it best in her book: i’m glad my mom died: it takes one to no one

When you’ve experienced your own struggles, whether you’re on the other side of it or not, once you develop your own awareness you can very easily point out who is currently struggling 

This old friend of mine, would body check, where she was constantly looking at herself in mirrors or reflections, she would randomly lift her shirt up and look at her stomach, and like I said her cheeks caved in and face completely changed, her shoulder bones were showing and her rib cage, her skin was loose

Because she lost weight and muscle in very unhealthy ways so now her inner thighs and arms are saggy.. She looked terrible

Sounds harsh, I know

If you look up ariana grande while starring in wicked and are uncomfortable seeing her rib cage and sternum and shoulders… that’s what this friend was looking at

She looked starved, malnourished, not healthy

And I know this sounds like I’m criticizing people’s appearances.. Because it is a form of criticism and I understand that

But like I said, it does more damage to not have this conversation than for you to think I’m judging people’s bodies

People pay me to look at their bodies it’s the industry I’m in and it has actually helped heal me and my relationship to my body

This episode is about understanding the difference between aesthetic trends and actual health.

Because health is not measured by how small you can make yourself.

Health shows up in things like:

Your health… not getting sick or if you do you can recover from illness pretty quickly

Your strength.. Are you able to keep up with your workouts and improve in strength

Your hormone health.. Do you have a regular period, are your period symptoms minimal or do they derail you where you have to cancel your plans… this is outside of other hormonal problems like hashimotos, hypothyroidism, endometriosis, etc

Your skin, hair, and nails.. Is your skin breaking out with acne, is your hair thinning, are your nails constantly breaking

Your energy levels.. Can you get through your day and feel good or is it getting harder and harder for you to get up and move around and get things done.. Example being cleaning the floors

Now I’m saying all of this to help you determine whose body you’re idolizing and why their skinniness is deceiving you

But there is a difference between being skinny and undernourished and losing weight in a healthy way that you can begin to identify within yourself

That’s in the form of eating enough protein, 1g per pound of your body weight, you’re not restricting food groups other than what’s medically necessary for your unique body, you feel like you can live your life fully

Eat in front of people, eat three meals a day, can take a rest day from the gym or any form of movement without feeling bad about yourself

Versus the opposite where you’re not actually healthy which includes things like being cold all the time, feeling irritable, having brain fog, not having the capacity for the life you once did and the reverse of the healthy markers I just described

Because here’s the reality of this skinniness epidemic.. You’re seeing this dramatic weightloss through use of the glp-1 or extreme weightloss practices..  Whether people are admitting to using it or not

Everyone looks skinny and you’re probably thinking: I want to look skinny too

This weight loss is loss of muscle and fat which is what you absolutely don’t want

Muscle keeps your body healthy, your metabolism functioning, your bones strong, and slows down the aging process

You’re also not seeing the late term side effects.. I have a personal training client who is a nurse and she’s been telling me that more and more people are coming in for surgeries with paralyzed intestines because the glp-1 has slowed their metabolism and digestion down so much that their body has stopped the necessary functions to digest food

You don’t know the repercussions of this drug, all you’re seeing is people losing weight and if you’re on your own weight loss journey then you’re going to be easily deceived

And besides, you should be chasing muscle gain not weight loss

So don’t be tricked by what you’re seeing online.. There’s facetunes, lighting, angles, poses, filters, other edits, and things going on beneath the surface that might hide what you can’t see unless you actually knew that person behind closed doors

We are going down a dangerous trek and I want to be the one to help set you straight

Because we were progressing so well as females with strong being the new skinny and somehow over the last year or so we’ve regressed so far backwards

It’s scary, it’s upsetting, and it’s misleading

If you’re body or someone’s body looks fragile, if you can see their bones, or your own bones, or even if someone close to you is asking if you’re okay… take it all as a warning sign

That old friend I was talking about… Both me and her boyfriend.. So the two closest people in her life.. expressed our concerns

And she didn’t want to hear it… she was convinced she was healthy… she wasn’t, she still isn’t

I’m telling you, my listener, right now, because you need to hear it

You need to hear that these celebrities are not healthy

That skinniness does not equate healthiness

That you are so much more beautiful when you eat food and lift weights and have life in your body and face

So please, please ignore the media as best as you can and listen to me when I tell you that food is fuel and it’s not something to fear and a little bit of fat on your body is actually a good thing

You should not strive to take up less space

Health is not measured by how small you can make yourself, it’s measured by how well your body supports your life

And I know the internet is trying to tell you that the goal is to shrink yourself as much as possible, so what i want to tell you is take up space

Skinniness is a trend. Health is not.

Make your goal to be as strong as possible instead and trust me, you’ll be so much better off in the long term

And that is how I’m going to wrap up this episode, so if you liked what you heard, learned something knew, or know someone who needs to hear this topic then please share this episode

Post it on social media, send it to a friend, just do something that helps me help all of the women, not just twenty-somethings, out there who are struggling with the skinniness epidemic and who need to hear that it’s okay to have curves

And as always I can’t wait to be in your headphones again next week with another brand new episode