Jess Diamond (00:00.224)

Welcome back to another episode of How to 20 something, where today I brought on a guest to help you get over the networking ick. I think the term networking has become so off putting and honestly misused that it’s time for you guys to listen to an expert on how to network without all of the awkwardness and pressure that we’ve put towards the term. I tell my clients that networking could be anywhere and with anyone.

It could be at actual networking events, it could be online, and it could be as simple as going to an event or talking to someone at the gym. It’s the conversations that you’re having and the relationships you’re building that are important when it comes to growing your network. The verb network is defined as interacting with others to exchange information and develop professional or social contacts. The keywords in that definition being exchanging information.

which I’m going to have Dana here further break down, but it’s not exchanging business cards. Take that tactic right now and throw it out the window because giving someone a way to contact you with no other information about who you are or how you could help them is why networking gets such a bad rap. This episode is to help you network correctly or strategically and not feel so out of place while doing so.

But before we dive into our conversation, I’m going to introduce Dana to all of you. Dana Alferevic, is that right? I’m gonna say it. Alferevic, okay. Dana Alferevic is the founder of Charlotte Networking Knowledge and a professional networking coach dedicated to helping professionals and entrepreneurs build meaningful business relationships through both in-person and online networking strategies. With experience hosting and speaking at workshops, boot camps, and networking events across Charlotte,

Dana Alfirevic (01:35.862)
Yeah, I’ll fear it.

Jess Diamond (01:56.948)
Dana teaches practical approaches to networking that emphasize authenticity, confidence, and efficiency. She is passionate about helping others connect strategically, stay visible online, and create opportunities that lead to long-term success. Hi, Dana, and welcome to How to 20-Something.

Dana Alfirevic (02:14.136)
Hi Jess, thank you so much for having me on the show. It’s truly an honor.

Jess Diamond (02:18.784)
Thanks, I’m glad you’re here. And I want to begin this episode with having you break down why is networking important, especially for people in their 20s.

Dana Alfirevic (02:30.734)
So that’s a great question and networking is important for multiple different reasons. a job and promotional standpoint, over 70 % of jobs are not posted online or publicly. They’re filled either internally through referrals or networking, which is, I know most people in their 20s, the job market is crazy, insanely tough out there. So that’s…

From a job standpoint, you have to be networking to get jobs. That needs to be part of your job search strategy. And also for the entrepreneurs out there, getting networking and by networking, like you mentioned, it’s not just handing your business card. The goal is to build a strong long-term network and through that network, you can get referrals. And people who network effectively have an

30 % increase in their business versus those who don’t network at all. So it can grow your income and it’s actually one of the lowest cost ways to grow your client base as well. And just from an emotional standpoint, from job searching or starting a business, a lot of folks, I’m just going to be honest here, we’re broke. A lot of folks are just kind of broke.

or struggling financially, especially in their 20s. And the job search market, it’s brutal. It’s a bunch of rejections. Same for having a business. You have a bunch of client calls. It’s a ton of nos. But having a supportive network that can actually, you can talk to emotionally about the things you’re going through. I think that’s the most valuable piece.

having people who understand what you’re going through and that can offer support. think a true network is your friends because you are the five, on average, the five people you surround yourself with most. don’t think of like you mentioned networking can be anywhere. it doesn’t need to be like a professional relationship. You can make friends with these folks. And if you integrate them with other parts of your life, you’re gonna get there.

Dana Alfirevic (04:56.526)
positive qualities and same with surrounding yourself with more negative people, you’re gonna, those negative qualities are gonna rub off on you. So it’s very important, especially as you’re still growing and figuring out who you wanna be in your life to have good positive people around you all the time because Saturdays that’s still part, you wanna make sure you have good friends who are motivated and driven and who bring you up as well.

And I believe you can have friends through networking.

Jess Diamond (05:29.534)
Yeah, yeah. Well, because we’re debunking the term networking to mean this whole business casual, shake hands, meet somewhere one-on-one, like connect one-on-one. And then it doesn’t, I feel like most of time it doesn’t really go many places if you don’t do it strategically. So I’m really glad that you brought up that this is more than just for entrepreneurs or for your career path when it comes to promotions or job changes, or even just getting that first job, which

is so important and that I teach my clients that too is like you need to build, develop, nurture your network so that you can open up these doors for yourself. And then maybe you’re even opening up doors for other people too. But I know with most of my clients are my are the younger 20 somethings, at least this year has been younger 20 somethings where they’re really looking for that first job and don’t feel like they have a lot to offer their network. It’s more of

in asking for them to help their network to help them. But the other side of that is your friends. And even if it’s not your friends, it’s people in your industry that can provide support. If you’re an entrepreneur, it’s finding other entrepreneurs that you can strategize with or that you can talk about the hardships of having your own business with. And then it’s like that with every single different career field is going to come with its heartaches and with the uplifting moments and

You need to be surrounding yourself with people who get it. And that’s what your network is.

Dana Alfirevic (07:01.684)
Exactly, I’m glad you understand it.

Jess Diamond (07:04.232)
Yeah, so I want to dive into the strategies since I kind of mentioned that. It’s like if you network strategically, then it can work to your advantage because there’s a lot of people that don’t network strategically. So can you provide some strategies around networking, maybe some good practices or even some bad practices?

Dana Alfirevic (07:25.47)
Yes, so the most important thing I want to relay, and I see this all the time, is some folks need to be more selfish in networking. That’s, it’s shocking because you hear about, you know, people just handing out your cards, but especially for folks who are kind of younger just getting started, I see a lot of folks who are kind of shy, maybe more introverted.

Jess Diamond (07:38.976)
Ooh.

Dana Alfirevic (07:53.955)
they need to be more assertive in their networking and also being more assertive in leveraging their network for help. So by networking strategy, the number one strategy I recommend is reaching out to your current network for help. Tell them what your goals are. Be upfront and specific. If you’re looking for a job, just say,

hey, how have you been? Wanted to reach out and reconnect. Try to have a phone call with them, a short phone call, or you could even just text them and say, I’m looking for a job in X field. Do you happen to know of any opportunities? And the most important thing, you need to let them know exactly what you’re looking for and ask for help. So I think a lot of folks who are shy, they don’t.

want to ask for help or especially younger people who, like you mentioned, they think they don’t have anything to offer. But I’m going to kind go off on a tangent here because that kind of resonated with me when I was in my early 20s in college. I started networking and I felt like I had nothing to offer either. And when I was at these meetings, it’s OK if you don’t have any experience.

But just by sitting down and asking, know, getting advice on your career path, just sitting with accomplished professionals, people want to help you. Not everyone, but a lot of people in professional networking events and industries, they actually do want to help you. So take advantage of their help. And if someone is asking to help you,

Don’t be shy, let them know how they can help you. it introducing you to someone who works in your field, keeping an eye out for any opportunities, introducing you to some potential clients? Just know exactly what you’re looking for and how they can help. So that is my number one networking strategy. A few others I would say is to

Dana Alfirevic (10:18.26)
to protect your time and evaluate the conversations especially this is so important for younger folks. After a conversation think how did you feel? Did that person make you feel worse about yourself and maybe this is

you for the woman out there, a lot of young women, you’re going to have like men who mansplainer are dismissive to you. I mean, I’m sure, you know, you’ve had that just, yeah, think we’ve had, we’ve all had that. And I’d say if those folks make you feel bad, you can exit the conversation at any time. Don’t pursue a further professional relationship with them because not all men are going to be dismissive or disrespectful.

to you. and women too, some women can be very jealous. Older women and women your age. So make sure the woman you’re talking to, they raise you up and same with the men. If you’re getting bad vibes, just leave it at that and don’t try to impress them if you know by he thinks I’m stupid I want to you know prove him wrong. No it doesn’t matter. Focus on relationships that

are providing you value as well. another strategy kind of to segue kind of similar is to focus on mutually beneficial relationships. Even if you’re young, you can provide value in some way by asking the other person for help. like you ask, you know what they need for help because you don’t know unless

they could help you and just by saying that it can go a long way. And make sure these people, it’s kind of like dating. So I know this like everyone in their 20s is dating, but you want it to be mutual effort. That’s kind of how you tell if the relationship, any type of relationship is good. You don’t wanna be the one always reaching out to have a coffee with them or thinking of them, sending them a book or an article, trying to.

Dana Alfirevic (12:39.542)
you know, introduce them to someone else. You wanna, they need to do the same for you. They need to be reaching out to you and kind of like, you know, in dating, if you’re sending them paragraphs and they’re just like, okay, or cool. Like, do they have the same level of effort and enthusiasm towards you for this professional relationship? So I’d say those are my, I don’t wanna, you know, go into too much, but I’d say definitely make sure be assertive and

Make sure that it’s a mutually beneficial relationship and vibe check. Make sure they make you feel good.

Jess Diamond (13:17.182)
Yeah, I love the idea of be specific about what it is that you’re asking for help for or help with. And the other part of that is how you protect your time. And I just got off of a client call like two hours ago where today, so when we’re recording this today, this episode won’t come out for a bit. But I got off this client call and on that client call, we were talking about his dad had a connection for him.

And he brought this connection up three weeks ago. So it’s been like, okay, you need to connect to him. Like you need to reach out to him. You need to set up an informational interview and do these things. And today he comes again to her call and he’s like, I still haven’t done that. Mind you, he came to this call in more of a slump. So we were working through that and coaching around that. And I was like, is this why you haven’t reached out? He was like, I don’t know. And I was like, are you even interested in talking to this person? And he’s like, well,

Dana Alfirevic (14:12.134)
Jess Diamond (14:13.512)
I didn’t really do a ton of research and I was like, okay, number one, you need to research the person that you are going to connect with or to even decide, which is where we were at. We were deciding if he even wanted to connect with this person because he was in his I don’t know phase. we looked him up together and he’s like, okay, he’s done all these things, but it’s not the direction I wanna take my career.

We’ve talked a lot about these informational interviews and the first thing I ask my clients is, what is your goal for the interview? What do you hope to achieve by the end of that conversation? Is it information? Is it an additional connection? Is it a job opportunity? You need to decide why you’re connecting with this person and what about this person? What knowledge do you want to gain and how can it help you move forward?

And we came to the conclusion that this guy that his dad has set up this connection with is not going to help him in his career path. So it was like, great, then let’s not waste anyone’s time by making this connection happen when it’s not going to benefit either one of you. But you still need to go back and thank your dad for sticking his head out because the longer you go in between of someone trying to set you up with someone else, the worse you’re going to look and the worse your connection, your connector is also going to look.

They’re not gonna wanna keep connecting you with people. So it is, it’s being specific how you’re asking for help. I’m just repeating what Dana said and it’s being specific about your time, like who you want to talk to because I know, especially if you are unemployed right now, you have a lot of time. So it’s also being very cautious of the time other people don’t have. And if you’re not, if it’s not going to be a valuable conversation for either one of you,

then don’t put it on your calendar and don’t have them put it on theirs.

Dana Alfirevic (16:04.766)
Exactly. think that’s a great lesson.

Jess Diamond (16:07.828)
Yeah. Is there, are there any bad networking practices that you can share with the audience of like, Hey, don’t do that. I know I mentioned, don’t hand out your business card as a way of saying hello to someone, but is there anything else that comes to mind as absolute no-nos like, Hey, try your hardest not to do this.

Dana Alfirevic (16:27.096)
So I’d say I’m going to piggyback on the business card. definitely don’t give your business card out unless they ask for it. But you want to do this at the end of the conversation or as soon as you identify if it would be a good connection worth both of your time. And you can ask them.

I loved this conversation. I’d love to meet with you one-on-one to talk about this more and see how we could help each other. Are you interested? And if they say yes, be like, great, let’s connect. What’s the best way to connect with you? And then you can give them your card. But if you don’t have a card, you can just get their information. So it’s very important. Don’t just give them your card or your

your information, you have to be the one to take control and get their information because the biggest mistake in networking is following up. Most people don’t follow up. And if you meet someone who could be a potential client or they know of a good job opportunity, you got to be the one to take action and follow up. So ask for their card, ask for their contact information. A lot of folks in their 20s don’t have cards. They might have a digital card.

I’d say if they say, I don’t have a card, that’s say, that’s fine. Can I get your information, get their number and their email as well and connect with them on LinkedIn as well. So a big no-no is just handing them your card and expecting miracles to happen. You got to be the one to get their information and you also have to be the one to initiate the follow-up as well. So sending that first text message or email or

the one to actually type in their information and add them on LinkedIn. So another tip in the same line of that is when you’re doing a digital business card, make sure to take a screenshot of it because sometimes it doesn’t sync up properly and especially if it was an important contact, once you save their information, take a screenshot of it so you don’t forget.

Jess Diamond (18:45.822)
Yeah, yeah, I I talk about this with making friends is like you want to be in as much control of your situation as possible. So when you go and make a new friend, ask for their number, don’t just give yours. And it’s the same thing with networking. mean, networking, making friends, Dana’s already mentioned dating, like it’s all relationship building. They all go hand in hand. They’re not separate. It’s just the goal behind that relationship.

differs. That’s it. But the way that you build them kind of remains the same through and through.

Dana Alfirevic (19:19.296)
It’s true and it does take effort and long consistent work to make relationships, friends and networking. It’s not gonna happen overnight networking, but it’s really a long term. You’re in it for the long haul and the effort you do today will pay off.

Jess Diamond (19:37.95)
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I tell my clients it’s the long game. was like, is it, do you feel like you’re doing more just applying to jobs online versus building a relationship with someone? Yeah, probably. But you’re going to apply to a thousand jobs and feel really frustrated. Or you talk to one person who has three inside connections at three different places. That’s going to get you the job. Takes a little bit, or it feels like it takes a little bit longer. I personally think it doesn’t take longer. It actually takes shorter amount of time because you’re

going direct, you’re directly going to who you need to talk to to get yourself a job.

Dana Alfirevic (20:14.378)
Exactly. And if you’re just posting online, how do you even know if a human is actually looking at your resume or reviewing it? could be some AI bot just filtering out your resume for whatever reason. You want to Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. A bunch of them. Yeah. So make sure an actual human looks at your resume.

Jess Diamond (20:28.544)
Yeah, it is an AI bot. But in 2025, it is an AI bot.

Jess Diamond (20:39.004)
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, even my sister has been interviewing for jobs and she, my mom had told me this, that this company in particular didn’t post any job listing. They recruit people, they hand pick who they want to bring onto their team to make sure it’s a good fit. So then we need to think about career choices in that way of, as you said, like a lot of jobs, I think you said 70%, is that correct? Of job, like, yeah, over 70 % of

Dana Alfirevic (21:05.772)
Over 70%, yes.

Jess Diamond (21:09.114)
jobs are not posted online, they’re internal hire or their referral. And I know like my business alone is highly referral based. People are like, do you make do you get clients from posting on social media? No, I get clients from talking to people. They actually meet me and know who I am, or they know someone that could benefit from working with me. So it is networking is so important in so many different avenues, which is why

I wanted Dana to come on here and talk to you guys about it. But Dana, I want to hear a little bit about you and have you share a networking moment that maybe changed the trajectory of your career or your business or the way that you thought about something.

Dana Alfirevic (21:54.177)
So I’d say one of my first ever networking events I went to was at my school, DePaul University in Chicago. And I was able to connect with professors there. And it was life changing because everyone was so kind and supportive. And I was so nervous. But I met Professor Bell. He was really great.

No, he told me about the mentorship program at DePaul where you could get paired with a mentor. And I wouldn’t have known that through networking. And I had two mentors, which were free by the way. I paid mentorship is kind of a scam. Coaching is different. You got to pay for coaching, but like a mentor, like, are you a coach? Like, come on, come on. That’s just like scam. Like my opinion, but.

I’ve made some really great connections through there and I was honestly so shocked at how kind people are and how much they’ve helped me. I got meetings with some of the top commercial real estate companies through these connections because people will really, they want to help. Especially new graduates and young people. If you are new to networking, you’re new to your industry, you’re looking for your first job, if you say that,

at networking events, people will respect you a lot more and they’re more willing to help if you kind of are vulnerable with their situation and honest.

Jess Diamond (23:32.608)
Yeah. And I know that that takes a lot, especially when you’re in a room full of strangers and having conversations time and time again. More so I’d say for the 20 somethings who have graduated and it’s been maybe close to a year or a year plus and they still don’t have their first full-time job or someone at a different point in their 20s who is currently unemployed. It can really be a confidence depleter to continue to talk about

you being unemployed. So what I’ve also had clients do as an option is say what you’re looking for instead. And it goes back to your point of be specific with what you want help with. So instead of feeling like you need to plea your case or explain like, oh, I’ve been unemployed, or I haven’t landed my first job yet doing this, that you don’t necessarily have to give that background story. You just say, oh, I have a degree in this, and I’m looking for this. And it

keeps the conversation a little more on the positive note, especially when you’re at more networking specific events and you’re having the same conversations with different people for an hour to two hours straight.

Dana Alfirevic (24:43.63)
Exactly. That’s exactly what I have my clients say. I graduated with X or some experience. If it’s not a job, it’s where’d you go to school, what you majored in, and then what you’re looking for. Yeah, I agree. Don’t mention you’ve been unemployed for X amount of time. I you don’t need to mention that unless they bring it up. Yeah, don’t just say, I’m looking for this. And you can say,

Do you know anyone here I should talk to about this? Or does anyone work in this field? can… Another thing about networking, you can just ask people you meet. You can ask them for advice and potentially introductions as well. So don’t be shy and people will want to help you. I know I’ve said at networking events like, hey, I’m Dana. I’m looking for a job in X and…

People were willing to talk to me and help me just because I was kind of open and honest about my search. But I didn’t say it in like a negative way. was just like, hey, yeah, this is why I’m here. I’m looking for a job. And there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re in the same boat. I understand if it’s it is discouraging, getting a lot of nos. But the thing is, it’s important to get out of the house. And I know.

some folks in their 20s, it’s hard to make friends, especially from college if you’re moving to new cities. But I like networking events because it’s good to socialize as well. And you don’t even need to make it like super intimidating. You could just say, you know, I don’t need to have, I’m not gonna get a job from this. Go in with no expectations. Just be like, I just wanna get out of the house and talk to some people. I think it’s good for people to do that, especially if you are feeling

Jess Diamond (26:28.608)
Yeah.

Dana Alfirevic (26:32.398)
discouraged because I’ve had that happen, bad days. And I’m just like, okay, well, I’m going to to this event and you feel more positive because you’re interacting with positive people and just getting out of the house.

Jess Diamond (26:43.924)
Yeah, and when it is something that is more networking specifically, specifically called a networking event or a friend making event or a speed dating event, whatever it is, where it’s, it has that name in it of, know, why you’re there. It’s because everyone is there for the same reason of wanting to build connections. So everyone is going to be friendly to other people because you’re all there for the same reason of build the network, meet new people, which means talk to new people.

So I’d be very surprised if anyone ever comes forward and is like, I went to a networking event and I met the worst person possible. Like they were so rude. So I’d be like, why was that person even there?

Dana Alfirevic (27:24.992)
Yeah, that’s true. Everyone is in the same boat. if you’re intimidated because there’s, successful people there, first of all, you you don’t know their journey. They could have had, you know, help or, know, could have gotten lucky or you don’t know their journey. So don’t compare yourself. But also, even if they are like super successful, they’re there to connect and grow like you. And they have the same interest in the same networking event. So be open to.

talking to anyone, even the more experienced folks.

Jess Diamond (27:56.384)
Yeah. So let’s backtrack because we’ve talked about like, wow, you’re already at the event. So let’s, let’s talk about just getting yourself to show up. Cause I know I’m someone who really does not like showing up to places alone. I just, I feel awkward. I feel out of place. I have my methods of go straight to the bar or straight to the counter, get a water, get a coffee, but like have a plan in place for when you walk through. And it isn’t until someone approaches me and conversations start flowing. I.

start to kind of like take, get out of my shell a little bit. And I know that a lot of that stems from maybe a lack of confidence in how to approach people or how to have conversations or why I’m even there. So for the 20 somethings who relate to that of showing up alone and feeling really awkward doing so, how can they start building their confidence and reduce some of that social anxiety in these types of settings?

Dana Alfirevic (28:53.902)
So I’d recommend that they have a networking hype kit. So know in advance what kind of motivates you, but also kind of reduces your anxiety. And I think it’s very important to know this beforehand. Test out what works for you so you can do some deep breathing. I like to shake out my body. I’m kind of like,

do air punches, of, you know, get the blood flow and go on a walk. And I also like to listen to pump up music because it puts me in a better mood. So I think the first thing is kind of taking a few minutes to recenter yourself and do whatever you enjoy doing that will calm you down, calm down your anxiety, but also motivate you more. So deep breathing for me, I don’t know, but I like to hype, you know, I like hype music. You just, I get in a…

a good mood that way. do something like that or maybe play with your cat right before. But I’d say that’s a really important thing to do. also make sure to you mentioned goals. So I think it’s important to have a long term networking goal like your why. Why do you want to network? Is it to get a job? Is it to establish a long term network for

referrals and promotions, is it to get 20 clients? You wanna get 20 clients this year through networking? Having that long-term why will motivate you and keep you having more confidence. And also, as you mentioned, a goal, I have my clients have one goal for every networking event they attend. And this goal has to be

achievable to them. have to believe it will be achievable or else, you know, there’s no point. If it’s like, I want to, you know, get five clients through networking, but it’s their first event. Okay, that is, do you actually believe that? You know, but having a goal like I want to have at least one meaningful conversation at this event, keep them more focused on the goal and they’ll be more motivated to achieve that goal versus just all these negative thoughts in their head and

Dana Alfirevic (31:17.93)
Also, I’m really a big fan of neutral affirmations. So you could say a positive affirmation like, I’m so excited for this event. I’m a good networker. But sometimes that doesn’t resonate with you, especially if you’re feeling struggling with self doubt. So I’d say having a positive or not positive, a neutral affirmation where you could say something like,

I’m nervous to network, but this could be a good opportunity to get a job. And by repeating that to yourself, you acknowledge and validate your fears, but it also gets you to think more positive about a realistic outcome for that situation. So the goal is you’re always going to have some anxiety. I don’t want to say like, your anxiety is going to be cured. But by doing little things like that, you’re going to be

focus more on the positive outcomes versus just all these anxious thoughts. I just want to normalize anxiety. Over 75 % of people have suffered from social anxiety one point another in their life. And a large portion of folks experience that at networking events. So if anyone is feeling anxiety, know that you’re not alone. And a lot of those people who

may seem confident they’re in the same boat as you.

Jess Diamond (32:48.734)
Yeah, I love that you said that you need to know why you’re networking because I think we either are one of two characters, we’re either the person that doesn’t know why networking is important and like doesn’t so doesn’t do it. It’s like, I don’t see the point. I’m not going to do it. Then there’s the other person that is like, okay, I’m being told it’s important. I know it’s important. I understand it.

Dana Alfirevic (33:02.797)
you

Jess Diamond (33:13.182)
So I’m just gonna go to this event and check it off of, yep, I networked. And I’m guilty of doing this. It’s like, okay, three networking events. I showed up, I talked to people, I left, I did it. And it’s going deeper than that. It’s like, why are you at the event? It’s not just checking the box of you went to the event. Why are you there? Why are you talking to these people? What’s in it for you? And then even if you’re someone who has never been to these networking events, who doesn’t understand why it’s important,

That’s a great opportunity for you to dig in and it’s like, why would I want to go to these events? What is going to encourage me to seek out these events knowing that I’m not doing so right now, but I keep hearing that it’s important. I just don’t see it for myself. So I love that.

Dana Alfirevic (33:59.777)
Exactly, yeah. Figure out why networking is important to you, because it’s going to resonate with you more.

Jess Diamond (34:07.07)
Yeah, and then you’re gonna actually wanna show up and have conversations and know why you’re having conversations. And it’s not just the same small talk circle of conversation happening time and time again, which speaking of that, I would love to know if you have any go-to conversation starters that maybe you keep in your back pocket or even good body language tips for someone who is walking into this room full of strangers for…

I mean, it could be the first time and it could be the 100th time, but you’re just trying to build up your networking muscle and be better at connecting with other people. So start with conversation starters if you have any of those, because I am all ears.

Dana Alfirevic (34:49.674)
Yes. So I think the best way to have a conversation is try to find someone who is alone. That’s the easiest point of entry to a conversation because sometimes in like a group of two people, if they seem very engaged in conversation, it might be a little more difficult. my first recommendation is to talk, go up and talk to someone who’s by themselves to say, hi.

I’m Dana, just introduce yourself like that and you can just say, what do you do? Some people don’t like that question, but I Yeah.

Jess Diamond (35:28.232)
I gonna say, I tell people like, don’t immediately ask that question, because we’re more than what we do. It’s almost like challenge you to not ask that question within the first five minutes of meeting somebody.

Dana Alfirevic (35:33.429)
Yeah!

Dana Alfirevic (35:40.342)
Yeah, you could say, what brings you here tonight? Or who are you looking to connect with? Or what made you come to this event tonight?

Jess Diamond (35:49.536)
Yeah, even something simple like how long have you lived here? I know that’s like a, especially in Charlotte because everyone is new within the last, I’d say five years, people is usually their answer. And you might even find like, oh, they moved here last week. And it’s just crazy. You’re like, oh my gosh, you’re brand new. Let me tell you all these things and that you can go do and places you can eat. And you’re immediately providing value to this other person.

Dana Alfirevic (35:56.458)
and

Jess Diamond (36:14.612)
So it might not even have to be that you have any knowledge of your industry or the industry you want to get into or an industry that they’re in, but they’re new to the area and you have knowledge about that.

Dana Alfirevic (36:25.966)
That’s true, that’s a good point. And you could ask them, have you been to this event before? Just, yeah, talk about other networking events. And yeah, you can talk about honestly anything. I like to talk about my cat a lot. You can, yeah, just talk about, I like asking thought-provoking questions. And what I mean by that is very rare questions. Like, know, what do you do? Yeah, that’s like,

That’s boring, you know, but I mean, it can, you know, get the con get the conversation juices flowing, but yes, it’s boring. But as you are having your conversations or even in the beginning, you can ask them kind of a rare question, something I like having the word worst in the question because it’s super interesting and no one’s asked, like no one really asked those kind of questions because everyone’s asking you,

the same questions over and over. It’s kind of like, yeah, everyone says, like, what do you do? You know, you’re just like repeating yourself, regurgitating the whole conversation. You want to ask a thought provoking question. Like, so I’m curious, what’s been the worst networking event you’ve ever gone to? Or what was your biggest or your worst networking failure? Just something like that. And you know, when I say worst, like don’t make it like super like negative. Yeah.

Jess Diamond (37:47.296)
Trematic. Don’t make it traumatic.

Dana Alfirevic (37:51.631)
Yeah, like what’s the worst thing that ever happened to you? just like something silly, like what’s the worst piece of advice you’ve received on networking? what’s the worst piece of advice you’ve been giving about starting a business? But something, a thought provoking question will kind of get them to stop paying attention to everything else. And they’re like, oh, like I got to focus. And like, huh.

Jess Diamond (38:00.8)
Well, I like that one.

Dana Alfirevic (38:20.502)
And those, you’re gonna have more deep and meaningful conversations instead of just like random, you know, service level conversations.

Jess Diamond (38:30.228)
Yeah, yeah, I’d say one thing my friend Brie used to have a networking event or a networking group. And one thing she did really well was on the name tag, she, I don’t know if she custom ordered them or found them on Etsy or whatever, but it would have your name on it, like a place for you to write your name. And then it would be three, ask me about. So you could put down three things that people can come up to you, read it and be like, tell me about this. And I know for me,

I would always put the weather on there because I am a weather nerd. So they’re like, ask me about the weather. And I’m like, what do want to know about the weather? We just had a front move in and then like a baby surprise front move in right after that. And that’s why it’s cold outside. it’s like all these things. Or you can ask me about my book club that I started. But the goal with those ask me abouts was don’t make it career related. So that people are, it’s like an easy way for people to get to know you. And they’re inspired to ask you questions, not about what you do.

but about your interests, about what you are passionate about speaking about. one of them could be, I have a podcast and like, yes, that is business related, but I don’t have a podcast to have a business. Like I had the business first and then thought this would just be a fun addition that enhances my podcast, my business. But yeah, was just a nice way to break down that original question that people are always.

first to immediately ask of what, so what do do? And I think take that as a takeaway for yourself is like go in with three ask me abouts or three ask me abouts for another person. What do you want to know about another person before you even get to the topic of what do you do? Cause it is going to come up. It’s a large part of why you’re networking. It’s at a professional networking event. It’s part of your everyday life. is a massive part of your life. So it is going to come up.

but I wanna challenge you to not have it come up first.

Dana Alfirevic (40:26.486)
Yes, I agree and I have all of my clients have at least, know, one like safe go to thought provoking question they could ask in the conversation that will usually get a positive response. So I think, yeah, finding a question that you’re comfortable with asking and yeah, you know, you don’t need to ask the same person the same question, but it’s a good kind of go to strategy. Just if the conversation’s kind of going.

Poorly you could say, hey, I’m curious what has been the worst piece of advice you’ve received about networking or what’s the worst thing you’ve heard about Charlotte? Something like that.

Jess Diamond (41:09.748)
Yeah, yeah. I think if you go into using that word worst, as Dana has been exemplifying, it just makes it a little more lighthearted. Just like you get to joke about something is like, my God, this was awful. I know I’ve been asked, like, what’s the worst first date you’ve been on? And then I turn it back to them. was like, ooh, do you want to hear dead dad or watermelon in a park story? People always want to hear watermelon in the park, but I honestly feel like the dead dad story is so much more entertaining.

Dana Alfirevic (41:30.254)
Thank

Jess Diamond (41:37.332)
They’re both very bad first dates that I’ve been on. And it just makes it as a joke. Like we get to laugh because everyone has their own terrible first date story. So they could be like, this one’s mine. And it just takes a lot of that pressure off of a conversation of being so serious, especially at an event like this. it’s like, hey, it doesn’t all have to be work-related conversations. It can be something fun.

Dana Alfirevic (41:40.555)
Hahaha.

Dana Alfirevic (42:04.568)
Yeah, and I am very passionate about humor. I’m very creative and I’m actually really funny. So I love expressing my humor and I’m very type A, but I really love incorporating humor. So sometimes at networking events, when people ask me what I do, I say, I’m a networking wing woman, or even I say I’m a wing woman for networking or just I’m a wing woman.

And people love that. And it’s funny. People are like, tell me more. Instead of just doing this two sentence or longer elevator pitch, it’s just something intriguing and funny. You could say, I’m a numbers magician if you’re an accountant, or I’m the Houdini of the financial world. Something interesting and funny. And I think it’s good to be interesting in your responses as well to get people to want to say more.

Jess Diamond (43:02.912)
Yeah, and people want to know more about you. It’s like, oh, okay. And then they’re just asking you questions about your work. And now they have all this knowledge of what you do and are better able to refer you out to someone else, either whether it’s a client or if it’s a job, just in that way. So kind of on that topic, I feel like this is a great segue into a question that I’m dying to ask you is how…

Dana Alfirevic (43:26.467)
Yes.

Jess Diamond (43:27.722)
can someone turn these new connections that they’re making into opportunities? Because we’ve already talked about it is more of a long game, and we talked about different types of conversations you could have. But is there any strategy someone can begin implementing or keep in their own back pockets when it comes to turning these new connections that they’re making into an opportunity to help them down the line?

Dana Alfirevic (43:53.807)
Yes, so I think the most important way to do this is to have a one-on-one with that person so you can meet with them with no distractions and no other people in the way. I think in person is better, but Zoom meetings are OK as well because we’re honestly so busy. if you don’t have a job, can

offer to meet with them at a location convenient to them or their office. But always you want to get to build those relationships. It’s the most important thing is it’s going to take time and they need to trust you. And the fastest way to grow trust is to see them consistently over time and also to follow through on whatever you say. So if you say,

I’ll send you that article or I’ll introduce you to Karen. Not the, know, mean Karen, just like another Karen, yeah. Follow through on your word, even if it’s something simple like, can you send me, I guess, a book? You offer a free copy of your book, you know, send it to them. Follow through on your word and keep seeing them consistently. So as you’re in that event, having a good conversation,

You can even ask them if you want, if you see like a potential collaboration opportunity, you could say right then and there, hey, know why I see we have some synergy in our line of work. Would you want to be open to seeing how we could potentially have a strategic partnership or collaboration and be clear about what that one-on-one meeting is for, like what you want for them and what you can offer as well. So I’d say.

Be very clear and again, have that one-on-one meeting, but also try to see them consistently at the networking events. I recommend getting involved in one or two groups and getting very involved in those groups as opposed to just going to a bunch of different networking events because you want to see the same people over and over again and that’s how you’re going to build that relationship.

Dana Alfirevic (46:20.534)
And plus it’s easier to connect like, it’s more realistic for everyone to see them for like a few minutes, like, hey, how are you? And then you guys could have a one-on-one maybe like once or like four times a year.

Jess Diamond (46:34.078)
Yeah, yeah. And I’d say the bigger networking events, it’s definitely more of a challenge to see the same people over and over again, because people have different schedules or conflicts, and they’re not going to the same events. But we’re not gonna worry about the other people. And it’s how you to join a group and to show up consistently, whatever that consistency looks like for you, you get to decide that. But I’d say it should be at least once a month.

you wanna see people at least some similar faces on a regular cadence. But to your point of Zoom versus in-person for these one-on-ones is I think that’s great that you brought it up, because for those of guys listening, like Dana and I met through Charlotte’s 30 Under 30. We were both part of that top 30 Under 30, go us. And she reached out to me to connect and she’s like, do you want on Zoom or in-person? And I am someone, if I have it in my schedule,

I’d much rather meet in person because there is a better energy translation that happens. And that’s how we got to her being on this podcast. I’m speaking to her networking group and we’re able to do this exchange because we have that overlap. Whereas I met with a different person from 30 under 30 earlier this week at the time of this recording. And he, definitely think he could have networked better. And we met in person, we got coffee and

it felt like he was trying to sell me his business versus a different way he could have gone about it that I probably would been a lot more open to is if he said, I think like, want to leverage your network, your community of coaches to help that my business can help them because I was very not interested from the start and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. And that’s off putting for me. So I think it’s also when you have those one-on-ones

Dana Alfirevic (48:00.196)
Mmm.

Jess Diamond (48:26.56)
be very mindful of it. It goes back to like, are you having the one-on-ones? It goes back to what we were talking about of why are you going to this networking event? What do you want to gain from this? And is it worth reaching out to this person to eat up some of their time? Because that is what you’re doing. Like, yes, it could be mutually beneficial, but you still have to be cognizant of someone else’s time. And I felt like this other nominee recipient of 30 under 30 was

was not he was cognizant of time and that we ended right on time, but it was more so why are we connecting? I felt like he wanted me more than to help one another. So just an interesting take.

Dana Alfirevic (49:12.046)
No, I agree. And I had one of those meetings earlier today, actually. yeah, think, and yeah, like, I should have like asked, you know, this person, like, what, you know, it was a Zoom meeting. I was like, well, I should have asked, you know, like, why do you want to talk to me? Or like, what’s this meeting, you know, in regards to before booking it? But I think it is very clear for to have these, you know, future, like strategic partnerships or collaborations, like

be upfront and if you’re trying to sell them, don’t sell them until you actually know they’re interested. If they want to meet with you about networking coaching, I’ll meet with them for that. But I’m not just going to ask anyone. Have a meeting with them and just be like, hey, so are you interested in networking coaching, my program? I think, yeah, at networking events, you can ask those questions and see. But yeah, if they don’t want to meet with you,

for the reason you want to meet with them, don’t meet with them. Because there’s a lot of people out there who could benefit.

Jess Diamond (50:19.136)
Yeah, I like that idea of asking, what do you want to gain from me by having this meeting? how can, kind of like starting out, I like, why are we meeting? What do you hope to get out of it? What is your intention behind scheduling this call with me or wanting me to schedule this call with you? So I think that’s great. I’m definitely keeping that one in mind for myself and hopefully you guys keep it in mind for yourselves as well. But.

Dana Alfirevic (50:29.858)
Yeah

Jess Diamond (50:44.512)
I have one more question for you that I want to ask before we wrap up this episode and that is if someone listening wants to make this effort towards growing their own network, whether professionally or socially, however they want to grow it, where is a good place for them to start that is more of a small doable step that they could take right now?

Dana Alfirevic (51:10.318)
So I would recommend, if you are very anxious, consider going to an online networking event first, because it’s going to be at the comfort of your own home. If you feel really anxious or you’re just having a bad time, you can just log off. That’s a good step for people. Yeah, bye. Oh, internet issues. But some people are more.

Jess Diamond (51:30.848)
Shut your laptop down.

Dana Alfirevic (51:39.033)
feel more anxious talking online. So know yourself if online is a better first step for you, try that. If in person is the right step, do in person. But I’d say go to meetup.com, make a free account, and join three professional networking groups and social groups in your area because

These social groups, can also network as well. You we mentioned organic networking. join three groups on Meetup that are in your profession or your industry or your interests. And also make a free account on Eventbrite and follow three organizers in your area that host either networking events or kind of social events in your fields. can…

Stay up to date and you’ll get the emails from them and you can easily get that information. Also, make a spreadsheet and either a spreadsheet or a Word doc and bookmark that on your computer of all of the different networking and social groups. You could do one tab for networking groups, one tab for social groups, have a line for the name of the group.

the target audience and also a link to their website where you can find more information. Because in a big city like Charlotte, there’s a lot of groups and it’s hard to keep track. So it’s important to build your own database. also another thing, you can reach out to people and invite them to networking events. That’s a good way to kind of reconnect with someone and it’s less, you know, obtrusive instead of just like, let’s meet one-on-one. You’d be like, hey, I’ll meet you here.

you know.

Jess Diamond (53:32.5)
Yeah, well those were a lot of first steps that you can take. So that’s very great. Over delivered, which is never a bad thing. But thank you, you know, so much for coming on How to 20 something. Where can people find you if they want to follow you or come to a Charlotte Networking Knowledge event or work with you?

Dana Alfirevic (53:36.033)
Yeah.

Dana Alfirevic (53:41.646)
Good night.

Dana Alfirevic (53:54.05)
Yes, so I’m active on social media. have Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. Also, you can add me on LinkedIn, Dana Elfirovich, and you can follow my company on LinkedIn. It’s Charlotte Networking Knowledge on Facebook. Instagram, it’s at Charlotte Networking Knowledge, all spelled out. And on TikTok, it’s

Charlotte CLT in networking knowledge and You can connect with me to learn more about my one-on-one and small group networking coaching boot camps on my website That’s networking knowledge and growth comm

Jess Diamond (54:39.006)
Yes, and all of that is going to be listed in the show notes for you guys to access right away. Otherwise, this does conclude another episode of how to 20 something. So if you liked what you heard, if you learned something new, if you’re ready to make a new connection, or maybe even your first connection, then please share this episode, post it to your story, send it to a friend that you want to go to a networking event with. But do something that helps me expand my reach and helping all of the 20 somethings in this world.

And as always, I can’t wait to be in your headphones again next week with another brand new episode.