When is it time to work with a coach

Welcome back to another episode of how to twenty-something where today’s episode is on coaching and signs it’s time for you to work with a coach

And that coach doesn’t even have to be me

So don’t worry this isn’t an episode solely dedicated to me advertising my program and the work I do with my clients, although I will be walking you through my Own Your Life System and who it’s for

This episode is really designed to help you determine for yourself if it’s time for you to seek out certain services based on what you need help with

I did an episode a while back with someone who helped distinguish the difference between therapy and coaching it was episode 57 if you want to go back and listen to it

So consider this one a highlight of what coaching is truly designed to do and all of the different types of coaches that exist out there

But very quickly, as a refresher as to what therapy is vs coaching in case you don’t go back to episode 57, although it goes into a lot more depth

Therapy takes you from your past to your present it’s largely about healing and processing what happened in your past so you can move forward

Coaching takes you from your present to the future it’s where you are right now and where you want to go 

And you don’t have to be a complete disaster, failing at life, or totally falling apart to seek out either sources of support

Coaching is for anyone who feels stuck, lost, confused, or wants more for themselves but might not know what that is or are too afraid to go after it

So now that you’ve been refreshed and know the difference and the purpose behind coaching vs therapy let’s shift into signs you can look for in yourself that are clear indicators it’s time for you to work with a coach

The first sign is that you keep setting the same goals and nothing changes

As in you’re not achieving those outcomes and don’t know what to do differently or can’t bring yourself to change your existing ways so you are successful

For example, you said you were going to get your finances in order and yet are still living paycheck to paycheck.. Regardless of the cost of living

Or that you were going to start working out, but every day you come home from work you find yourself plopped on your couch 

You say you want a full time job or a new job, but scroll indeed for five minutes and call it a day

Or how about you want better relationships but can’t bring yourself to have hard conversations when someone upsets you

Or you want to leave your full-time to pursue a business but keep pushing it back as more of fever dream

So here you are saying you want these different things and another 6 months go by and you’re still in the exact same position

It’s not because you’re bad at setting goals or following through, it’s because you don’t have the right systems in place or someone to help walk you through your own blind spots and obstacles

Which is where a coach comes into play

The second sign you can look out for in yourself is when you know what you should be doing but aren’t doing it

You know how to find a new job in a very successful way, you know how to have a hard conversation, you know where you’re overspending and can cut back, you know what to do in the gym

But when it comes time to act, you’re met with your own resistance 

That something in your brain in your body is screaming at you to stop

Whether it’s the fear of success, fear of failure, fear of rejection, or any other fear that comes your way 

Stemming from the lovely fear of the unknown

Your brain can’t compute what will happen as a result of you seeking out these things that you know will help you

And instead of filling in the blank spots with all the wonderful doors it’ll open up for you, it thinks the unknown is going to lead to imminent death

A coach helps you work through those fears and that resistance so you actually execute the steps you know you need to take

Your third sign you can look out for is when you feel stuck but can’t explain why

This is usually when everything looks fine on paper: you have a good job, healthy relationship, solid friend group, but something still feels off and your yearning for something more or different but have no idea what that is

That feeling typically stems from you living a life outlined for you and not one you truly want for yourself, coaches can help pull out what’s missing so you no longer feel that way and then help you take the necessary steps to get you unstuck

Sign number four is if you’re going through a big transition and are trying to navigate the discomfort of this newness and change alone

Like graduating college, starting a new job, moving to a new city, ending a relationship, starting a business

A coach will guide you through the messiness of the in between and help you get to your next destination 

And the fifth sign that tells you it’s time to seek out some coaching help is when you keep venting to your friends about the same problem for months OR if you’re a female and you have the same mental breakdown right before your period begins

Your friends are not equipped to help you, they’re good sources of support but when it comes to time to accountability they’ll forget 

And they’ll most likely tell you what you want to hear and not what you need to hear and then help you do something about it and hold you accountable to following through 

As for the period breakdowns.. It’s kind of like how drunk words are sober thoughts

Your period breakdowns are biggest tell all to what’s not working in your life and you’re at your mentally weakest part of the cycle to keep hiding it or shoving it down

So basically sign number 5 is for when the venting topic or breakdown topic keeps repeating itself 

Full transparency, my period mental breakdown that happens almost every month is around friendships because I still don’t feel like I have a good grasp of my inner circle and it always creeps up on me a few days before my period

All the other days I’m fine, I’m coasting and then bam it smacks me across the face and I’m a disaster.. Knowing that this is an area of my life I’m still very much working through post two best friend breakups in a 2 year timeframe 

So now that you have the five primary signs, it’s time to work with a coach,  because there are definitely more than just those, let’s talk about some of the different types of coaches out there

Because let me tell you, there is a coach for literally everything

There are business coaches specific to solopreneurs, to writers, to fortune 500 companies

There are nutrition coaches, coaches for women in menopause, coaches for people taking glp-1s

Career coaches that can also be industry specific

Empty nester coaches

Generational specific coaches like how I’m a twenty-something coach

There are organizational coaches

Coaches for moms of toddlers

Relationship coaches

Breakup coaches

Friendship coaches

Coaches for amputees

Coaches for cancer and cancer recovery

You get the picture, if you need a coach for your unique needs, there is definitely one that exists out there

Knowing which type of coach is for you is going to be topic specific and then from there personality specific.. Do you like their vibe and does it match yours?

Can you see yourself in them or do you really believe they understand you and, more importantly can help you

If you don’t know where to find a coach for you, that isn’t me since you are listening to my podcast right now, know that’s totally okay, but you should still reach out to me and I’ll point you in the right direction

I know a lot of different coaches doing a lot of different things and would happily connect you to the right person

And don’t feel pressured that the first coach you talk to has to be yours, feel free to shop around until you find what you’re looking for

And don’t be afraid to ask them questions too!

A good coach, who actually cares about their clients, is going to want to schedule a call to get to know you first before deciding to step into a partnership or not

And that’s where you can ask about their own story.. Why do they want to help people like you

I can really only speak to what my coach has taught me and how I run my business

But when you go to click the let’s chat button in the show notes that I talk about all the time, it’s going to direct you to my calendar for you to schedule a one hour call

And there is a message with booking that says there will be a form for you to fill out so I have some kind of idea as to what’s going on with you and then I also say this is one of two potential calls

The form has like 5 questions on it that say something like why is now the time to work with a coach

But that first call is solely to get to know you better and if we are a good fit for coaching 

It’s what I call a no pressure no strings attached call

The only decision you have to make on that call is if you want to schedule a follow up one to talk more about working together 

And that’s where I walk you through my Own Your Life System that is rooted in the work I do with my clients

It’s also on this call where we talk about what you get with coaching with me and the cost of the investment

Which I will walk you through my system in a second

But that first call consists of me asking a bunch of questions, coaching you a little bit based on how the conversation goes and then leaving time at the end for you to ask me any questions

It’s only fair., i just asked you a bunch about yourself 

Now, my system is unique to me and my coaching practice because it’s something I designed and refined as I worked with more and more twenty-somethings and am also shifting to include people who want to leave their 9-5

It’s called Own Your Life and is rooted in 6 pillars which are: create, consistency, control, connect, communicate, and confidence

Create is creating your goals which is what do you want to set out on accomplishing, why is achieving these things important, and what is the bigger picture beyond the goals

A lot of people create dreams, but not goals.. Goals feel possible and are within reach, dreams are too far away to grasp as your own

Then it’s consistency that’s not just going to the gym regularly, it’s building your habits, priorities, routine, and how you show up on a regular basis so you can create the foundation for the rest of your adult life

The third pillar is control

And this one is big because so much of the stress and anxiety you feel on a daily basis comes from trying to control things that are completely out of your hands

This pillar is about getting really honest with yourself about what you actually have power over and taking action from that place, then learning to release the rest

Remember you only have control over yourself: your actions and what you do about them

Pillar 4 is connect

This is connecting with yourself so those pesky little thoughts and beliefs telling you you can’t do something or have something

Like having friends, or landing a job that you actually like, or starting a business 

And this is connecting with the people around you: your family, friends, relationships, building up your professional network

And knowing that the people you are surrounding yourself with will help you achieve the goals you originally created

Then we have communicate

It’s being your own advocate and speaking up for yourself, learning how to communicate effectively and across different modalities

How to have hard conversations, negotiate salary, build relationships, ask for what you need etc

And finally, we have confidence 

Confidence in who you are, the direction you’re taking your life, and the decisions you’re making along the way

Not the fake it til you make it kind of confidence but the kind that comes from actually doing the work and seeing yourself show up differently as a result

And that is the Own Your Life Systems, designed for twenty-somethings by a twenty-something that results in you being a fully functioning adult with their shit together and creating a life that is truly yours

Not your moms, not your friends, not society’s…. Yours

And then also designed for the twenty and thirty-somethings trying to leave their full-time job in the next 1-2 years

Not many things are actually life changing… this is

So to bring it all together

If you are someone who has felt a little confused about what coaching is or if it’s the right decision for you to explore, then I hope I just gave you a bunch of clarity

Whether you saw yourself in one of the signs I mentioned, feel like my system spoke to you, or heard a unique coaching specialization that spoke to you

Take it all as a sign

That coaching isn’t just for someone who is broken or a disaster

It’s for someone who wants more for themselves and isn’t quite sure how to make it happen or wants to expedite the process to get there

And if you think you and I would be a good fit, then go ahead and click the let’s chant link in the show notes so we can get to talking

Or I can at least point you in the right direction

All I want is for you to rock the shit out of your life and if I can be that person to help you do so, then great, and if it’s someone else then also great

I just don’t think you should have to try and figure it all out on your own 

So if you liked what you heard, learned something new, or know someone who could benefit by listening to this episode then please share it

Give it a 5 star rating, post it to your story, send it to a friend, just do something to help me reach all of the twenty-something in this world navigating the most confusing decade of their life

And as always, I can’t wait to be in your headphones next week with another brand new episode