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Ep. 7 What to do when you’re FUN-employed

You’re listening to another episode of How To Twenty-Something, before I actually dive in to today I want to give you a final reminder that from doubt to decision is tonight – that is if you’re listening to this episode the day that is drops which is Monday, July 31st 

You can still sign up using the link in the show notes or going to jessdiamondcoaching.com/decisionmaking and it’s completely free, on zoom at 8pm eastern with a replay being sent out right after it’s over just in case you can’t make it live

It’s time to stop overthinking and second guessing and get out of your head and into your heart to make a decisions that is in alignment with the life you’re wanting to create for yourself

I would love to see you guys in the zoom room or signed up to receive the replay

Today’s topic is unemployment; in fact, the next several episodes are going to be related to some aspect of your career such as career transitions, job changes and losses, the world of self-employment, and how your career fits into your life

This is something I’m so passionate about because my career path is largely what lead me to coaching and created the coach that I am today

I find that what makes me so unique and advantageous for other young professionals to work with me is that I dipped my toes in every part of a career path they are bound to experience

Not only did I struggle to find a job out of college, but I hated the only job that offered me a position and 5 months into working there I started to apply to some other places, thinking it was the job and not the career, and 7 months into working there the pandemic happened and the world shut down and I lost my job, during this time I explored some interests and found my passion in the world of health and fitness, but went back to the corporate world with the intention to leave it and pursue a career that was aligned with my heart, and in March of 2022 I did just that

I went from struggling to find a job, working in the pre-pandemic world, experiencing unemployment where I didn’t even qualify for unemployment or the stimulus checks, which we’ll get into, going back to work in this weird post pandemic world and I put post in quotations, and then leaving my career to follow my passion and start my own business

Like I said, I literally dipped my toes in essentially any part of the career process a young professional is bound to go through at one point or another and I want to support you through these massive changes and give you the clarity and direction you need to make a career decision you are in alignment with

My passion for coaching twenty-somethings came about because I needed a coach that specialized in twenty-somethings and, at the time, it didn’t exist and I struggled to find my way on my own

So I became the resource I needed, so that none of you have to feel alone on this journey through adulthood and it’s also why I started this podcast

You probably don’t need me to tell you this, but your career takes up a majority of your life and when it goes away there’s a sense of loss of purpose or identity in your life as you’re no longer needed to wake up and join the rest of society

Maybe you feel like a failure, like somehow you’re being graded on life and someone gave you a big fat F in the career part

For most of you, you’re unemployment is entirely out of control if you were laid off or furloughed, so now it’s a matter of what do you do with this unexpected amount of free time and confusion with what to do next and yes this also applies to those of you who are freshly graduated with no job lined up, those of you who got fired, and those of you who quit, basically this episode is for anyone who is not actively working but knows it won’t be this way for forever

And that is what I’m here to help you figure out

I’m going to jump back in time and talk about my 6 month period of unemployment as I accidentally developed amazing habits that I now have others do when they lose their jobs

And mind you, this was an extremely tough time for me with a lot of tears, a lot of humility, and a hell of a lot of uncertainty, and my habits most definitely didn’t start out great, but we got there eventually

I know the entire world was filled with uncertainty in 2020, but for me, I had just lost the one job that was a struggle for me to get in the first place, that was retail and restaurant design entry level job and based out of Canada – which had so many more protocols with the pandemic than the US did, let alone Florida

There was no light at the end of the tunnel and each day was brought with how do I fill my time to get through another day

Not to mention, I felt like a complete failure and the black sheep of my family

I kept a covid journal and I actually still have it and update it every so often, but in one of the entries I wrote how shitty I felt, like I was failing at being an adult, and like a charity case when my grandparents sent me a check because of how much I was struggling

It was humiliating

I wish I could go back three years and give younger me a hug and to tell her there is a reason behind all of this, just be patient 

I’m very fortunate my mom and my grandparents were in good places financially to be able to help me out, but it didn’t feel so good being in that position

And this is not how I want you to view your unemployment; I want to help you shift your view with this is a time for exploration of yourself and what you want from your career and quality of life and not that you are failing in adulthood, even if it might feel that way for a little

A perspective I wish someone had instilled in me while I was having multiple mental breakdowns and doubts in my future and capabilities and reason for existing

To set the scene, it was March of 2020, I was in the final interview rounds at two different firms and then, with good reason, they both went on a hiring freeze and by the end of March I was facing unemployment as I had been furloughed for at least one month which later turned into 6, unbeknownst to me

I worked from home for two days before I said goodbye to my paycheck

I remember having a call scheduled on my calendar for 4pm on a Tuesday with my boss, HR, and the VP of the company where they immediately told me I was to shut off my laptop as soon as this call was over and I was furloughed for the next month

The tears came directly after

I remember calling my mom and being devastated

I thought I lost my purpose in life, which in hindsight I believed to be showing up for my entry level job

Bringing me to my first lesson for you and that is: you are not your job

You are a unique individual who is special in his or her own way, but in the eyes of the company you work for in your early to mid twenties; you are a number; you are replaceable

Your job should not be your whole life, it should be keeping you mentally and financially stable so you can pursue a life outside of your career

Losing your job, does not mean you lost your purpose

I know it can feel that way as you no longer have a reason to get out of bed in the morning, making it a hell of a lot more tempting to stay under your covers and hide out from the rest of society and have a ‘no one’s going to miss me anyways’ mentality

As soon as you lose your job you need to go apply for unemployment – and be patient with these sites as they crash so easily if multiple people in your state are qualifying at the same time

The likelihood of you experiencing the website crashing is low, whereas in March of 2020 everyone in a service based industry was having to log on, it’s just something to keep in mind

I did not qualify for unemployment for the entire second quarter of 2020 so from April through June, I was unable to collect money from the state

A friend from college had just graduated Law school and referred me to a friend who specialized in unemployment law, where he took my case pro bono since it was very confusing as to why I was getting denied

After thorough research he discovered that in order to collect unemployment and be approved, your earnings from the previous 2 quarters added together needed to be greater than the most recent one times 1.5 so for me it was Q3 and Q4 of 2019 added together needed to be greater than 1.5 times my Q4 earnings, since I was still applying in Q1 of 2020, and then the same scenario for when I applied in Q2

I was extremely unlucky in that I started working halfway through Q3 of 2019, so I was off by about $1000 which means had I started work a week or 2 earlier I wouldn’t have had an issue

We can’t change the past and no one forecasted a pandemic happening in 2020, so we’re just chalking it up to really unfortunate timing

The start of the pandemic was really a murphy’s law situation for me where anything that could go wrong, did

So, before you go through the headache of applying for unemployment, do the math to make sure you qualify, which if you have been working for 2 entire quarters then you should be good

Also, if your company gave you a severance package, then you cannot apply for unemployment until after that is complete

This does not mean that for the entire time you are getting your severance you can sit back and twiddle your thumbs

Sure take a week or two off and relax, but get right back into the job hunting because before you know it, your severance will be up and you’ll be without a job and filled with a lot of uncertainty and trust me, it’s terrifying to be in that situation 

The most important thing to do while you are figuring out your next move, is to maintain some sort of a routine

Continue to take care of yourself

Humans thrive on routine, otherwise we tend to get lost in our thoughts and things turn very dark very quick

The biggest message of what to do when you’re unemployed is work to develop the healthiest habits you can and then figure out which habits benefit you the best so that you can make sure you’re keeping them around when you do return back to work

The first month of the pandemic, when I thought I was only going to be unemployed for that one month, I slept in every day, stayed in bed and watched tv until about 11 or 12 and then would workout and later return back to my bed and watch more tv or go to the pool

After that first month of being furloughed, when I was originally told it would only be one month, I contacted my boss and asked what was happening and if I was going to able to start working again, to which she told me HR would be in contact with me

Several hours later, I received an email from HR saying that my unemployment would be extended at least an additional 12 weeks

I was at a loss for words

I vividly remember calling my mom in a state of shock, you know that giggle but crying state like what am I going to do for the next three months

Everyone thinks Florida was closed for 2 weeks, but it was really closed for 2 months – which I know is still not nearly as long as other places, but the end of April still showed no sign of hope

I realized the way I was living was not feasible for the next 3 months, so I started to create a better routine for myself and made a rule that I couldn’t watch tv until after dinner – this is a rule I still apply to my now self-employed self

I began waking up at a normal time of 8am, I took up reading self-help books every morning with my coffee, I ate three meals a day again, I went to the gym and took my time with my workouts, I went for walks, and I listened to podcasts, and kept up with my covid journal

By the first week of May, I bought my personal training course and added studying for at least 2 hours every day to my routine

I was working towards something, with no intention of making personal training my career, but more of a side thing that I enjoyed doing and something I wanted to expand my knowledge on

Now I had structure to my day and felt productive in some side path in my life, something I had no idea would turn into my main path and my ticket out of the corporate world

My habits were incredible, my mental health benefited tremendously and I felt like I was actually doing something with my time, rather than waiting for the day to end so the next one could come and go

After the six months of unemployment, I knew there were certain habits I definitely wanted to keep up with once I started back with a full-time job

During the week, it was keeping up with my walks and podcast listening and then I looked forward to my weekend mornings where I could have my lovely unemployed routine of reading and coffee in the morning and taking my time at the gym

It became my dream to be able to have my relaxing morning routine everyday which I can now say I’ve been happily implementing for over a year, since leaving my job to pursue my business last March

Bottomline, you need to make sure you are keeping a steady sleep schedule, exercising regularly, and eating well as those are three key things to give you stability and mental clarity

Another perspective shift I want to help you with during this time to invite space for this moment of pause in your career – clear out something in your life whether that be some clothes, old emails, pictures on your phone, your car, your junk drawer, literally anything, but you’re essentially sending a message out to the universe that you are creating an opening for something new to come in both literally and energetically

Use this time off to your advantage, begin exploring what you actually enjoy doing with your time get in touch with old hobbies, see if there is a job or industry out there that supports this interest

This is not a time to sit around, throw yourself a pity party, or play hours of video games or binge watch a show; you have this beautiful new time freedom that is allowing you to explore

Explore who you are, the people in your life, the environment you’re in, and the career you’re after

And to add to this time freedom, you might be tempted to have more of a weekday social life – to which I do want to encourage you to go out and network rather than isolate yourself, but to also refrain from regular alcohol intake during this period

When you are unexpectedly unemployed you are extremely vulnerable, mentally unstable, and stressed out; resorting to alcohol to cope with your struggles or to numb out your reality is so dangerous to your health and well-being, you’re masking the symptoms that you’re going to have to face later regardless 

I was very fortunate to have the foresight that alcohol would not help my mental state, only worsen it, so during my time of unemployment I stopped drinking

It was easy for me since I only really drank when I was out at the bars and all of the bars were shut down, so I got out of the habit of drinking and developed a strong relationship with myself without the use of substances

This is a time to look for beneficial coping mechanisms that help you feel calm and relaxed in a very uncertain time, such as reading, going on a swing outside, going for a run, or journaling, rather than trying to escape your mind with tactics that won’t help you, if anything it’ll make you feel worse

Alcohol puts you in a 50/50 mental state where you’re either really happy or really sad, there’s hardly an in between

We all know alcohol is a depressant, there is a high point and then it drops drastically increasing your already existing depression and anxiousness that comes with not having a stable job or knowing your next move

It’s easy to resort to alcohol for help in feeling relaxed about your current employment situation or lack thereof and to escape the reality of your shitty situation, but please try your hardest to not give in

I know that our dependence on alcohol was instilled in most of us through our college experiences

I was definitely taught by friends that when you fail a test or have a bad day it’s time to drink, essentially teaching me that when the going gets tough, go and grab a drink

Drinking does not solve your problems, it delays the inevitable while also worsening your mental health, not to mention impacting your finances

And your mental health should be your number one priority at all times, especially when you are facing unemployment

It’s time to shift your relationship with alcohol, break that habit and mindset, and tap into your rational adult brain

Remember we want to create healthy habits during this time, maintain a regular routine, and incorporate some new skills or knowledge 

Before I wrap up today’s episode I want to run through some more advantageous activities you can do that will make your time in between jobs more useful, rather than wasteful 

This includes things like continuing to network, now that you have the time, dive into your community and see what events are being held and where and go to them – get a mocktail or sip on water

Most of you twenty-somethings listening live in or near a city, all you have to do is google networking events in your city and see what comes up

This is also the time to update your resume, as you’ll definitely need it to apply for new jobs

Thirdly, this is an absolutely crucial time for you to get a grip on your finances and spend only on necessities

It’s going to take a lot of pride to have to say no to trips or taking someone out on a date or to events that your friends are going to because you can’t afford it, but trust me you need to be so on top of where your money is going and work to preserve as much of it as you can

Sit tight for a little, a saying that always helped me when I was in a tough time in my life is “it’s not forever, it’s for now.” 

So you saying no doesn’t mean you’re always going to have to say no, but your current financial situation might be the wakeup call you need to get your shit together and become more responsible as to where you are allocating your funds

Ask yourself if it’s a want or need and create the discipline with yourself to say no to the wants – I’m not saying this is easy to do but it’s for sure possible 

And finally, saving the best for last, set goals

This is such a scary and uncertain time and it’s easy to slip away from your grasp on reality and your place in society, so you need to set some goals for you to work towards

Make to do lists for each day

Even if the to do list is clean the plates in the sink, write it down and give yourself the satisfaction that you accomplished something that day when you get to check it off once it’s done

Go back and listen to episode one again and remind yourself to be kind, you are doing the best you can

And aspire to use this time to work on yourself and understand what you want from your life

This is one of the biggest things I help my clients with, because it’s your key to having a life that you love

Your time in the unemployment world is special, it’s absolutely chaotic and beyond stressful, but it’s special nonetheless; it’s a time in your career journey that you will never forget

How you utilize this time out of work will determine the trajectory for the next step in your career, whatever that is

But please do not give up on yourself, this is the time where you need the most amount of self-care and support

Do not hide out from society and wait for an opportunity to come your way, keep taking action, keep exploring different paths you could follow 

Find something and commit to it for now, knowing that if it doesn’t work out like you planned, then you can leave

Create the habits that support your mental and physical health the best and be sure to find a way to incorporate them into your 9-5 schedule for when you do go back to work

And keep your chin up, it’s going to be okay, you’re not going to be homeless and you know that I am here for you if you ever need a coach to help you figure out your next move

So, if you are facing unemployment, know that you are not alone – it’s an unfortunately common experience as we are the new ones in the company and the last one in is the first one out

I know how horrible it feels to not know your next move, and not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I know the future becomes bleak and not fun, but keep trucking along, set little goals for each day that you can work towards, go outside, find some hobbies, get back in touch with your younger self and partake in activities you enjoy doing and who knows, it just might lead you down an unexpected soul aligned career path

The time is going to pass anyways so you might as well do something that supports your future self in some way, if there was ever a time to invest in yourself and your time, it’s right now, it’s while you’re in the inbetween of your career

There’s no need to feel like you’re swimming in the ocean with no land in sight and unsure of what direction to take, simply take some direction and follow through on where it goes – eventually you’ll find the land you were looking for

And if you need help in deciding what direction to take then please sign up for from doubt to decision that’s tonight!!

That’s all I have for you on what to do when you’re fun-employed, my heart goes out to all of you listening who are facing this time in your twenties and please let me know if there is any way I can support you so that you don’t feel so lost and alone

If you liked what you heard, please send it to a friend, share it on your social media, follow, rate and leave a review, do something to spread the word of this podcast so i can reach as many young professionals as I can

And if you have a story, want me to cover a certain topic, or have a question you want answered on here then please check the links in the show notes

I hope you enjoyed hearing a bit of my own success story and thank you for listening to How To Twenty-Something, I can’t wait to be in your headphones again next week!