The reality of being self-employed in your twenties

Welcome back to another episode of how to twenty-something where today I’m going to be pulling back the curtain to the self employed world as a twenty-something

I’ll be sharing with you numbers, data points, emotions, expectations, and why what you see on social media is nowhere near the truth of what actually happens behind the scenes

I talk to a lot of twenty-somethings and I’d say it’s about 50/50 when it comes to someone telling me they want to leave the corporate world and work for themselves at least eventually

And part of it is because they don’t want to feel trapped in a cubicle all day and the other part is because they see the glorified life of twenty-somethings working for themselves on tiktok or instagram

And let me tell you one thing.. This was an expectation put into my head when I was making my transition so I want to put it in yours… because it’s true

You should expect 3-5 years of hard work before you start to see the fruit of your labor

And if you have the ability to, then you should work your full-time job in conjunction with building whatever business it is you’re trying to build until you have the funds to make the full transition over to working for yourself

If you think being self-employed in your twenties looks like working from coffee shops, traveling whenever you want, and building a ‘dream life’ off your laptop… this episode is about to ruin that fantasy — in the best way

Because while that might be true for some people, it is not true for all

Remember there are exceptions to rules

So let me break it all down for you

Timeline wise, I became a certified personal trainer in 2020, I was 23 years old and I fell in love

I get asked a lot, how did I get here, and the truth is it was an accident and I think the best way to find your passion

I didn’t force it into existence, I didn’t try to find my ticket out of the corporate world, I just followed my own interests and am very lucky that what I liked doing, what gave me life, I could make money doing

I originally just wanted to expand my knowledge in the gym and had the time to be able to do so since I was furloughed and it was the pandemic

I started working for an outdoor bootcamp pretty much right when i began my certification so they trained me for like 4 months and that was what I loved doing

I was outside, people were loving my workouts, and I got such a high from people leaving feeling better than when they arrived

So I was ready to say fuck the interior design world, I’m going to go be a personal trainer

And my mom said no since she was paying my rent at this time since, you know, I had no job

So I went and found a new full time job as an interior designer now with the mission to get out 

I didn’t know when yet and I didn’t know how but I did know this would be my last full time job

Meaning it was time to start saving as much money as a could so that when the time came, I would be ready

For background context, I graduated with about 35k in savings.. This was a mix of bat mitzvah money, birthday money, babysitting money, and any other odd job I had growing up plus any summer jobs I had in college

My first job out of school had me making about 36k after taxes and my second job put me at 40k after taxes

So yall I was not making a lot here

I made sure to keep my expenses low and buy only necessities for the most part, so I can put as much of my paycheck away to savings 

I didn’t plan any big trips, I ate out once a week on average as a little treat, and didn’t spend my money on just anything

By the beginning of 2021 I knew I was going to become a health and life coach to help support the personal training side of things and I was moving to a new apartment with a 14 month lease

So I made that my deciding point, when I my lease was up I was going to move out of Orlando and to Charlotte to pursue my own business

I think it’s very helpful to give yourself some kind of end date to work towards so you can keep your dream of becoming self employed within reach… somewhere on the horizon

For me it was by March of 2022 I was going to quit this job and move and I wanted to have 75k in my bank accounts to help support me for the first 2 years

All of this came into plan by April of 2021 which was when I began my coaching certification and was deciding between moving to augusta georgia, where my then boyfriend was, or to Charlotte where my best friend at the time was

So I had the plan, I had the timeline, I had the goals, now it was a matter of making it all happen

That’s what you need to do

Because dreams without timelines will stay dreams

And trust me you’re going to get antsy, you’re going to want to speed up your timeline to make your dream become your reality faster… don’t give in

By November of 2021 I was ready to do that, to quit my job, since in May the office changed their work from home policy to all five days in office

So I didn’t have a ton of flexibility to work on growing my business aside from time after work and I was getting antsy

Which is why I made the point at the beginning of this episode that if you’re able to do both.. Stay at your full-time job while you grow your business.. You need to do both

For me, on March 7th, 2022, my 25th birthday, I handed in the keys and laptop to my full-time job, I had 75k in savings, I signed my new lease in Charlotte, and I was ready to launch myself into figuring out the world of entrepreneurship

I had 3 clients working with me at this point and was feeling pretty good, but also had no idea where to go from here

The very first thing I knew I needed to do once I moved was find a business coach

You need a mentor to guide you to building a business after their model, so find someone whose business model you agree with

And yes, you should definitely be paying this person

A free mentor is great, but one you invest in working with is what will make the difference in how supported you will feel

I went in expecting to pay 10,000 for my business coach and she ended up being 9k for the first six months and I’m still working with her 4 years later

So let me tell ya… The money you saved up will go… quickly

For a few reasons, one life is expensive and two you do not have a business model built up yet

That’s the reason why you should expect 3-5 years of grinding before things start to happen

Building a business takes time

Sure there are the lucky people who hit it off right from the start, but for a vast majority of you listening, this is not the easy way out you think it is

It is stressful, you’re going to have moments of extreme doubt, you’re going to feel like nothing is working… which is why you need a coach in your corner who knows what they’re doing to lead you in the right direction and to help you with your mind gremlins when they creep in and make you question all of your life’s decisions

You also need a back up plan

For me, if my savings dipped below 35k I was going to look into finding another full-time job

That was my own limit

I’m very glad it never got to that point but it did get pretty close in that first year to year and a half

So have your limit where you’re not losing everything and a fall back plan just in case this takes so much longer than you originally predicted or if a hiccup came your way that derails you for a little

My first year out, so from April to December of 2022, I was in survival mode

I made 20,831 dollars and that is including hanukkah and birthday checks, I started working at f45, and I picked up a contracted job with interior design stuff

My coaching business itself did not make a ton.. Probably around 12k if I were to guestimate

I felt like I couldn’t really make plans with the new friends I was meeting, I think I went on two trips that year and they stressed me out financially

And every time I looked at my finances I was concerned

Year 2, same thing, we’ll call this year unstable: now we’re in 2023 and I made 12k in coaching, 13.5k in two months of freelancing and then I began personal training as a 1099 employee, and 12.5k in f45 and other miscellaneous income again like birthday, hanukkah, babysitting, etc

So starting to do a little better with a total of 38k which was roughly my starting salary in my first job out of school

Only my expenses had all doubled so I was still barely scraping by

But again, the coaching business was still not really taking off here

I could not survive without my other two sources of income

This was also the year when I was dealing with a lot of personal stuff which also hinders business growth

The part of life that derails you

Unexpected depression does not help with getting out and meeting new people and building relationships 

Luckily, each year I saw a little bit more of an improvement 

In 2024, year 3 things started to improve but nothing felt sustainable in my coaching business yet

I made 16k in coaching, 19k in personal training, and 18.3k in miscellaneous income again like f45, birthday checks, babysitting, odd payments.. Anything I didn’t have to concern myself with paying taxes on

Which jumped me up to making about 53k that year.. Before taxes.. The most I ever made in a year in my life

A little bit more livable but still felt pretty strapped for cash

And also could not solely rely on my coaching business to support me

Year 4 was 2025, it looked about the same, however I did leave f45 3 months into the year so my coaching business and personal training needed to increase to offset the loss of income

And I rounded the year at 56k total

Again, not bad

This year, 2026, and even really towards the end of 2025, is when things have really started to feel fruitful

I was able to max out my roth ira for the first time, put money towards savings

And breathe

Afford trips, be able to plan them, take Ryan out to dinner, make plans with friends.. Like really start to enjoy my life

It took 4 years of grinding and not giving up and working with my business coach to finally get here 

And yeah there’s definitely still doubts in my mind that it could all go away again

Entrepreneurship is unpredictable in that sense

You could make 8k in one month and then nothing the following 2

It’s a constant roller coaster ride where you are fully in charge of every decision

How to find clients, how to grow, how scale, what’s next etc 

Whereas in the workplace, your manager or supervisor gives you your deliverables

And your paycheck is predictable every single month

When you’re self employed, if you cannot come up with your own deliverables and follow through on the deadlines you set for yourself, you are destined for failure

This is why it’s not for everyone

You need to be a planner, you need to be disciplined, you need to be organized, you need systems that are reliable and you need to be able to trust yourself

The biggest difference for me, mentally and in reality, is that as an interior designer my income potential was capped at 80k

As an entrepreneur, quoting mean girls: the limit does not exist

But it’s how far are you willing to go

What boundaries do you need to set to support this life because there’s also not a clock in or clock out

And as I learned in architecture school, you are always never done

There is always going to be something you can do, work on, improve, reach out to

The day never really feels done

So you have to have the wherewithal to stop

Call it a day

Clock out of your own business and take much needed breaks

Otherwise you’ll burn yourself out

The bottomline is, entrepreneurship is not the freedom you think it is

Sure I don’t have to report to anyone, I can block off my calendar when I want to, but I can’t plan for things, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to buy  house on my own, taking a week off makes me feel guilty because I have a duty and responsibility to my clients

Spontaneity isn’t a thing

I put a lot of things on my plate and have to manage my own timelines and deadlines so I don’t get so overwhelmed or bite off more than I can chew

And it’s a slow, grueling process, that is going to test the fuck out of you

Becoming an entrepreneur is a slow process and not everyone is built for it

You trade a boss for self-management.

You trade structure for self-discipline.

You trade predictability for uncertainty.

You trade security for control.

And some of that might sound enticing, but this is not a road you can walk alone, it’s not a road designed for everyone, and it is very emotional

You really have to learn and work through the ugliest parts of you 

The thoughts that make you think you can’t do this, the people who tell you you can’t do this

The self worth, the grit, the resiliency, the pride

The willingness and openness required to learn and keep learning especially when you make a giant mistake

It’s about being able to live with uncertainty for longer than most people can handle

I mean, if this were easy, everyone would be doing it

And sure, this is what you’re primarily seeing on tiktok so you think everyone is doing it which is why you think it’s easier than what people like me are telling you

But your algorithm is only showing you what those creators want to show you

Which is why I decided to make an episode ripping back the curtain of the not so glamorous side and expectations of this kind of life

Your raises are on you, your income and lifestyle is fully dependent on your ability to succeed

Your relationship to money needs to be dealt with

And if you’re coming from a 6 figure salary, you need adjust your lifestyle to match that of a teachers’ salary in order to survive those first few years

So if after hearing all of this, you still want to chase this life, then don’t chase the aesthetic.. The time flexibility you see

Don’t jump in without a plan… keep your full-time job and use this time to build the skills, systems, discipline, patience, and savings

And then decide if this actually the life you want for yourself

I love this life, I am excited to wake up every monday and see my clients

I truly love what I do, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t test along the way

And I know there are still tests to come

It’s the life I chose for myself, I saw something bigger within me and I chased it and I fought for it

And I know it’s not for everyone

You get to decide if this is for you

Are you okay with the ugliest, toughest sides of entrepreneurship

The pretty side that you see online is easy to accept, but what’s underneath the surface is what you really need to sit down with yourself and think about

There is no right or wrong answer, there is just being realistic with yourself

Can you do this?

Tackle the parts that no one tells you, but I just made a point to do so in this episode

So on that note, if you liked what you heard, if you learned something new, if you have a friend who keeps dreaming of the self employed life, then please share this episode

Send it to someone, share it on social media just please help me help all of the twenty-somethings out there navigating the most confusing decade of their life

And as always, I can’t wait to be in your headphones again next week with another brand new episode!