Jess (00:00.112)

Welcome back to How to 20 something where today I’m going to switch things up a little bit and be the interviewee instead of the interviewer. I brought on a guest not too long ago to talk about finances and in that episode I mentioned that the both of us would be volunteering at a grief camp later in the summer. Well, after our episode was done recording, Justin asked if he could come back on to talk to me about my camp experience. So that’s what we’ll be doing today and

Maybe you’re thinking, how is listening to you guys talk about going to a week -long camp going to help me navigate my 20s? And the truth is, I can’t say it entirely well. But what I do know is that giving back to a cause that is personal to you and aligns with you adds a source of fulfillment to your life that you probably didn’t know you needed. This episode is also serving as a way to help get the word out there of this resource that exists for kids and for adults.

And you can either donate your money yourself so more kids can attend camp as it is completely free for them to come. Or maybe this speaks to you directly if you’ve lost a parent or sibling and want to be directly involved like I did this year and I plan on returning back next year. Now, I’m going to introduce or reintroduce Justin again and then hand the mic over to him and.

kind of first let him better explain experience camps, how he got involved, how you can get involved as he was the director for the boys side this year. Now, I met Justin as students at the University of Florida. Justin is a dynamic, passionate individual who turned his personal grief story into a mission to help others in all facets of his life. Professionally, Justin serves as a financial life planner, primarily focusing on guiding young growing families

Jess (01:55.58)
to align their money to their most fulfilled lives and helping individuals who have experienced a close loss emotionally and financially navigate their grief and money. Personally, Justin lives in Boca Raton, Florida. Outside of running and watching sports, Justin spends his free time giving back to the community with Experience Camps, a nonprofit organization that sends kids who have lost a parent, sibling, or primary caregiver to a one -week free overnight camp. A true camp counselor at heart, every year Justin leads the Georgia Boys Experience Camps program

for 100 plus campers and 50 plus volunteers, transforming the lives of grieving children through compassion, connection and play. It’s truly the best week of the year. And I can now fully attest to that motto of best week ever. I mean, your bio, your introduction explains it all, but Justin, welcome back to How to 20 something. Is there anything that you want to add before you start asking me about my perspective and experience of camp?

Justin Weidenfeld (02:50.288)
Well, yeah, I think there’s no better way that I would rather spend my free time than volunteering at Experience Camps. And I was just incredibly grateful to have you as a familiar face there with me to experience the magic of camp. And so I know you’re asking me to elaborate on what Experience Camps is, but this is fully a role reversal here. And I am now going to take the reins or the proverbial microphone.

and ask you now that you’ve been through a week at Experience Camps, how would you describe Experience Camps to the audience?

Jess (03:30.876)
think in a nutshell, we’ve already described what it is, but taking a step back, it is a safe space for kids to express their emotions and their feelings, whether it’s happy feelings or sad feelings, about a topic that’s so personal and not everyone their own age can understand. So it’s this wonderful outlet for them to be able to be themselves and not feel like they’re hiding a large piece of it.

maybe it’s hard for them to express to a friend or they don’t want that. no, I’m so sorry. And then you end up consolidating that person that you just told this news to that you’ve suffered a loss greater than most people your own age. So it was, it’s really just a beautiful thing to experience. I understand why it’s called experience camps because it is quite literally, I’m going to be saying the word experience a lot throughout this episode, but it is that beautiful safe place for

a kid to be a kid and an adult to grieve their own losses too from a very, I don’t know, like take a step back standpoint, disconnected from reality kind of point of view.

Justin Weidenfeld (04:41.274)
Yeah, I guess my next question is like, why is that safe space? Why is that outlet so important? And as the director of camp, talked about our number one, like vision of is providing that safe space to kids and each other for us to show up as as ourselves. So why is that important to have in our lives?

whether you’re a grieving teenager or a 20 -something.

Jess (05:13.126)
Well, it provides an automatic source of acceptance that allows you to express your vulnerability in a way that you’re not usually doing with your peers. And it’s because you already have this special yet awful thing in common, it opens the door for other tough topics to come into the conversation. Like I know while I was at camp, were…

additional conversations about depression about suicide about overdosing about just a lot of deep heavy topics that coincide with the grief that they’re already Experiencing and especially as they’re growing up and trying to figure out who they are So that’s from the kids standpoint is what I got to see but then from as a 20 something you lose that safe space, I think

Growing up, you’re always put in these other containers, and I’ve mentioned this on several episodes. And when you get put in the adult world, it becomes a lot more difficult to find those people that you can be fully vulnerable with. And it comes from a source of shame, and it’s really difficult to be vulnerable. But when you’re at this camp, it’s all of your shields come down, and you’re immediately accepted. You’re immediately bonding. You’re crying with people that you met 10 minutes prior.

than laughing with them 30 minutes later. It’s this wonderful, well -rounded experience. Like I said, I’m gonna be saying the word experience a lot.

Justin Weidenfeld (06:45.266)
yeah, a hundred percent. I, so just to take a step back and talk a little bit about my story, and then I’m going to kind of turn it over to you. I found experience camps. Actually, I found it before I even volunteered or applied to volunteer. Experience camps came, started in 2009 with 27 boys out of a sleepaway camp in Maine. And their goal was to provide

a one -week overnight camp to kids who were grieving and it was all boys. That camp just happened to be Camp Manito, which is the camp that I grew up going to as a kid, fortunately enough. So my CIT project in 2013 was to do a charity mini golf tournament to raise money for experience camps. My camp counselor would run a triathlon every single year to raise money for experience camps. And

I just kept hearing this growing nonprofit organization, Experience Camps, that stemmed out of the camp that I grew up at and really, really loved and felt like it was my second home. So in 2018, when my dad passed away, suddenly I didn’t really have a lot of people in my life that I can turn to who were going through something similar. And so…

Couple months after after kind of like the initial shock settled in one of my closest cam friends called me and said hey You should come to experience camps the following summer. He volunteered at the Pennsylvania camp. So at this point there were two or three locations three locations actually said the Pennsylvania camp in 2019 and Listen, he said this camp will change your life and I was like

I get to go back to camp as an adult, be a kid again, and do it for a cause that now deeply resonates in my soul. Of course, it was a no -brainer for me. So, of course I got stuck with the Youngest Kids, which was super fun. A lot of energy, I would say. But for exactly what you said, the Safe Space,

Justin Weidenfeld (09:11.418)
the vulnerability of these kids and the staff members, the ability for people to have their shields down and come as we truly are to camp, whether you’re a camper or a staff member, and the crying one moment of camp, and then the laughing and dancing and celebrating the next, that’s what hooked me. And so since then,

I gravitated towards the Georgia camp because that has a lot of South Florida people and that’s where I’m from. I also was able to bring my family to camp, my two stepsisters in 2021 after our COVID year and was named the associate director that year and now serve as the program director. And so my role is to organize and facilitate the entire program all year long, including

recruiting volunteers, but also making sure that we’re providing and supporting them in the experience that they want. And I know I’m a pretty decent salesman, but I had that initial conversation with you and I’d love to hear just like, what’s your backstory and what made you sign up for camp initially? What really kind of hooked you in?

Jess (10:32.306)
Well, first, think it’s pretty cool that it was your camp that you grew up at was hosting the first ever experience camps. I think that was just like a connection that you didn’t know you needed until it came. But I signed up originally because you reached out to me to talk about collaborating or being able to refer one another as we both work with young professionals and 20 somethings just within different fields.

you’re like, well, as a life coach, I don’t know if this is up your alley. I don’t even know if you remember saying any of this, but I volunteered at a camp for grieving children and you were just explaining it and knowing really nothing about my past, my history, just asking me as a life coach, as someone that loves helping people and being there for people is why you brought it up. And also because it’s something that’s so close to your heart that I turned it around on you and was like, actually, I don’t think you know this, but

lost my dad when I was 13. So not only does it align with that past version of me and something I went through as a kid, it aligns with what I do today of helping people and wanting to be there. So it combined both pieces of me, like my past with my present. And it wasn’t a no brainer for me. It was definitely something I wanted to think about because I don’t like committing to something right off the bat without actually checking in with myself. Am I OK to do this?

especially being unemployed or not unemployed, I’m not unemployed, being self -employed, especially being self -employed, I needed to fully take faith in my business and the success of my business to allow myself to take a complete week off of my life and my business and having my clients be okay with that too in order to make that move. But after we got off the call, I just kept thinking about it little more.

like you know what I think this is something I want to do same reason as you of I get to be an adult and go back to camp and amongst the other qualities of being able to help kids with an experience that I also went through and can relate to.

Justin Weidenfeld (12:44.178)
Yeah, Experience Camps really brings a certain type of individual, someone who is going to dedicate a week out of their lives to go to a camp with a bunch of people they’ve never met. Like I might’ve been the only person that you’ve met going into this camp and dedicate their lives to sleep in a twin bed and like scorching hot Georgia and sweating the entire day.

being around snot nosed kids all day long, a lot of drama, a lot of excitement, a lot of energy, camp food, which like I personally like because chicken tenders and mac and cheese just like speak to me. But not everyone, especially in their 20 somethings and beyond, can deal with it. You’re also leaving your family, your job, your career. so like it takes a certain type of individual to want to do it. So talk to me.

talk to us a little bit more about like that decision to say yes, to put yourself out there, to go into the unknown and really like take a chance and be uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. And then also what your like personal frame and headspace was going into the week of camp.

Jess (14:01.712)
Yeah, so I definitely still, not still, I battled with the, my God, I’m going to take a week off my life for a while. It would be a thought that would come up. I would get anxiety around it. And it was more so from the business perspective of with personal training, if I’m not here, I’m not making money. I don’t have paid time off. I’m fully stopping all sources of income for the week to be there. And that’s what was stressing me out.

As I started to progress through the year, business is doing really well. Fortunately, I was saving a lot of money. My mom was very supportive of it. She donated to my bank account just a little bit so that I could buy things for camp without further stressing my funds out, or stressing my brain out based off of my funds, knowing again that I would be taking that week off. And then honestly, halfway through the week, I forgot that my whole life was on pause. And it wasn’t until…

our unit leader was talking to our campers and said, your counselors fully put their life on pause to be here for you. Like treat them better, treat them with respect. And that put me back in the, crap, I am, my whole life is on pause right now. My life, my business, my friends, anything that I was working on is completely paused. And that was something I had to fully grasp going into it.

it was getting closer, I was feeling a lot more confident about it. I was like, you know what? I’m going to have fun. That’s how I went into it was no expectations. I just wanted to experience it for what it was. I didn’t want to set anything, any preconceived notion in my head of how it should be or what I should be experiencing and just went fully present. I made sure everything on my end back in Charlotte with all my clients, everything was good to go. There was no loose ends hanging off.

could fully disconnect and I told my clients I’m like I will still be around I might not be able to respond as quickly but if you need me I will be available to respond via text or I even had one client who was in a little bit of a crisis mode and I ended up stepping out at dinner to go to the staff lounge to call her and make sure she was okay so it ended up being great I’m glad I’m so glad that I went I’m so glad that I got to disconnect for a week I think I really needed that

Jess (16:24.23)
And even coming back, it was a big adjustment. They warned us. think it was, someone said, the week you come back, you were just at camp for a week, this was intense, it’s gonna be a weird adjustment. I’m like, come on, I was gone for one week, how weird of an adjustment is it gonna be to come back? No, it was a big adjustment coming back. was kind of like reality hit me in the face again of, yeah, I’m still working on this, I’m building this, I’m doing this, there’s things that need to get done day in and day out.

that it was really nice to take that break for that week while simultaneously doing something that is so good and that I’m passionate about as well.

Justin Weidenfeld (17:05.616)
Yeah, why was it such a big adjustment coming back? Was it the energy? it like, tell me, yeah, what was that experience like? Start from the end and go back to the beginning.

Jess (17:14.802)
It was.

It was a lot more, I was a lot more mentally and emotionally exhausted than I thought I was going to be. So I gave myself the weekend after to do nothing, to just fully re situate myself with society, get my groceries done, make sure everything’s ready for the week ahead. I had no plans. I was, we’re gonna relax. We’re gonna sleep. We’re gonna take care of ourselves. And I just, that exhaustion didn’t fade for the entire week. I still felt like I,

was dragging and I don’t know if it was because when you think about it like you’re going you have really long days I had older kids so they didn’t go to bed until after midnight every single night there is there’s drama there’s it’s there’s a sun there’s heat there’s sweat there’s the grief topics and then on top of that there’s the additional heavy topics so and then my own topics that came up for me that I didn’t even expect and

all of that combined takes a toll on you, not necessarily in a bad way, just in a way that I didn’t foresee happening to myself, especially for an entire week after being back. then there’s almost, it’s gonna sound ironic, there’s like a sense of grieving of I got to just fully disconnect from reality and I’m losing that part and it’s very hard to disconnect again because I’m…

in the thick of it. I’m in the middle of a city. I’m constantly having to show up places and be somewhere and I’m grateful for the life that I have, but at the same time, breaks are so necessary.

Justin Weidenfeld (18:57.072)
Yeah, so you’re grieving the loss of camp and the fact that you had to reconnect to society at the end. When before it sounds like you were hesitant to disconnect and leave this world that you built, this incredible world that involves around life coaching and personal training and is active with friends and people that you enjoy being around.

Jess (19:04.433)
Yeah.

Justin Weidenfeld (19:25.734)
but like constant busyness to go to a camp where like being on your phone is not the most important thing, to say the least, and to have deep, vulnerable conversations.

Jess (19:32.55)
Yeah. Yeah.

That too, I think it’s, yes, I have deep vulnerable conversations with my therapist, maybe with my coach and my mastermind group, sometimes with my friends here, but definitely not as often as I, not that I should, but as one needs to be mentally healthy. think we get really caught up in bottling up a lot of our emotions and not wanting to burden someone else with what we’re going through or what we’ve been through.

And Experience Camps allows you to do that. It’s a judgment free, it’s a safe space. It’s a beautiful opportunity for you to be yourself, to be vulnerable, to let go a little bit. And when you come back to reality, it’s not necessarily that you have to tighten it all up and be this like have no emotions again, but it definitely is different.

Justin Weidenfeld (20:31.418)
Yeah. You’ve used the word vulnerable a number of times and then you also mentioned the personal grief things that came up that you might not have even known were there. Do you mind talking a little bit about that?

Jess (20:49.318)
Yeah, so I did a staff sharing circle, which for those of you listening, the kids all get their sharing circles. They get one at the start of the week and then one at the end of the week. And I’ll talk about that for a second of my kids. You tell that first sharing circle is a little bit more surface level. They’re just kind of talking about the person you lost, maybe how they died, whatever it may be. And then you spend all this time together that that last sharing circle, it’s

open the door to a lot more conversations, a lot more openness of the dark side of your life that you probably don’t talk to your friends or family about. so the kids have their version and you have a grief counselor or mental health therapist, someone that oversees that. So that’s not on the counselors. We’re present if we want to be. I was present for both. think all, everyone in my cabin was present for both. And the mental health therapist leads it.

the staff get their own and you take a break during the day to go to the sharing circle if you want to. So I went, think on Tuesday and they’re an hour long, but what happened while we were having hours is there was a code gray and code, there’s the theme of the week was code gray, which was tons of thunder and lightning really put a damper, no pun intended on camp, but we still need the best of it.

Justin Weidenfeld (22:04.069)
Yeah.

Jess (22:13.232)
because there was a code gray in the middle of ours, we ended up having two hours of this sharing circle. So it allowed for a lot more sharing to occur. And it was through hearing people’s stories, hearing we talked about weddings and how you honor the person that you lost. We talked about just your story in general or the current struggles you’re experiencing within that. And as people were talking, what came up for me that I didn’t expect was I realized I like they would talk about their funerals of

the person that they lost. And I realized I never had closure about my own father’s passing. And I’m apologizing to my sister in advance if this is TMI, but it’s my life too, so I’m gonna share it. But our dad died of unknown causes and his death, like his death certificate says cause of death unknown. And there was a lot of ambiguity surrounding his last year of life, a lot of unknowns that happened. And then

once he died, our half sister buried him up in New York. I know I was really young at the time. was 13 and my half sister, my mom, butted heads around something. And long story short is my sister and I didn’t go to the funeral and we had a memorial service. But it’s like we never actually we went to his grave a year later or maybe two years later. But we never had that full closure. And because of all those unknowns, that’s what really came up for me. I was like,

my God, this, feel like that door never closed. I still have dreams that he comes back and he was faking it the whole time and actually faked his death and moved to Canada, which would not be the most unrealistic thing to happen because he was Canadian. And my sister has those dreams too. And I think that comes from that loss of closure that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to experience because it’s.

been so long now, there’s no way to go actually do a full autopsy report and see what actually killed him.

Justin Weidenfeld (24:17.616)
Wow, that’s lot to realize. Thank you, for sharing that. Were you able to share that in the sharing circle or was that like a realization that you had mentally, internally, or were you able to share that with anybody else at camp?

Jess (24:37.744)
I shared that in the sharing circle. I shared also a guilt that I felt of my type of grief because my parents were divorced, because my dad was not really in my life, because my life actually got a little financially better after he died because of Social Security money. And it’s like you hear these heart wrenching stories from other staff members, even from other kids of all that they lost with losing.

their parent or their caregiver or their sibling and I don’t share that loss as much. So there was also that shift of knowing that it’s okay to grieve differently. We’re all not gonna grieve the same and that my grief is not necessarily less than yours. It’s just different and that’s okay. That was another big realization within that that I also shared during the circle and it was very.

emotionally overwhelming for myself, especially after hearing all of these stories from some of the other counselors that at the end of that sharing circle was over. Once the code gray was lifted, we were all just giving hugs around. It’s like we had this new bond that we just formed and it makes sense why the kids are so close with one another because they go through their same version of a sharing circle and it’s beautiful in the most heartbreaking way.

Justin Weidenfeld (26:00.41)
Yeah, well, that’s powerful. That’s a powerful realization. I’m so grateful that the safe space and the outlet that we not only give the kids, but also the staff was able to kind of bring those powerful realizations out in you and that you felt safe enough to share them with the rest of the people who, like you said, you had just met, what, two days ago, three days ago at this point?

Jess (26:29.262)
I’m just in that room at that moment.

Justin Weidenfeld (26:31.97)
Right. But the vulnerability comes from like everybody there gets it to your point. They might leave a different way. Their loss might be different. They might have been a different age. The cause of death might have been different. The person that brought them to camp might be different. But everybody there is there for a reason and they just get it. And that’s really what makes camp truly special.

Jess (26:38.395)
Mm

Jess (26:57.2)
Yeah, it’s the immediate sense of acceptance.

Justin Weidenfeld (27:00.518)
Hmm. I’m surrounded by all these fun, crazy activities. So you went from hugging and crying in the sharing circle back to probably like a ice cream party or milkshake making or something like sports on the field, slip and slides, whatever it might’ve been. So you mentioned this happened on Tuesday. I’m going to take a step back and just talk about a little bit of a schedule of events. And then I want to hear from you what your favorite event was throughout the week. So staff gets there.

at our camp gets to the camp on Saturday. And most of our staff members are not licensed therapists, children, social workers, teachers, anything like that. They’re just normal people like you and me, right? Who have their day jobs, who might be a kid inside, but like don’t really let it out on a day -to -day basis. And so we have an orientation preparation and trainings, both pre -camp and at camp to help people, to help our volunteers like

get like accustomed to like camp life, sleeping in the bunks, eating food, eating the camp food, all of that. And then help them strategize and give them tactics and mechanisms both on the behavioral side as well as just the programming side on how to navigate the weekend camp. So we’re not leaving you in the dark. Fast forward to Sunday afternoon, that’s when the kids arrive. So in Georgia, we have kids flying in from Florida.

flying in from Texas also, as well as driving into camp. And so that day is very high energy. It’s the moment that we wait all year for when the kids come off the bus and hugs, high fives. Some of the kids were forced on the bus by their caregivers or parents and they don’t want to come. And so we play music, bring energy, smiles to get

them excited about camp and it takes a while for people to your point and get out of their shell and to take their shield down. Then unpack, have dinner, then we have a couple afternoon activities. But a real typical day of camp is you wake up, you go to breakfast, you come back, you have three morning activities. One of them is a clinical activity, whether it’s a sharing circle or an actual activity. And then there’s two sort of like camp related activities or program activities.

Justin Weidenfeld (29:27.814)
So you could do farm cooking, can play wiffle ball or kickball on the fields, you can play tennis or pickleball, archery, horseback riding, ropes courses, which I did for the first time this year, which was awesome, fishing, like pottery, like wood burning, like fire burning, like all of this stuff, basketball, there’s everything at this camp. And then you go, so…

That’s the morning, it’s jam -packed and it’s not to mention 105 degrees in Georgia with like 120 % humidity. And then you go to lunch, then you have a rest period and then you have two afternoon activities. One of them we try to get the kids into the pool and the staff members, but unfortunately we had a couple code greys which is lightning and thunder in the area and the pool times were very, very limited.

And then after that, have dinner and then we have evening activities. One of them is more of a higher energy, like a talent show or a silent disco or stuff like that. And the other one, three times a week, we have evening campfires as a camp. And then you go to bed, we give you an afternoon or an evening snack and an afternoon snack. So more often than not, that has sugar in it. So we sugar the kids up before giving them back to their volunteers to help them put them to bed.

That was a long -winded schedule and that’s in five days. So like we jam a lot into those five days and things happen and we have to pivot sometimes and there’s a lot of conversations, there’s a lot of activities, there’s a lot of different things that come up. So Jess, what was your favorite part of the week? What was your favorite activity?

Jess (31:18.556)
So I want to answer this in two parts. I have my favorite activity, but what I want to say before that is something that I really loved about this camp is that it gave the kids a lot of healthy coping mechanisms and ways to express their feelings and their grief through art, through dance, through colors, like whatever it may be. And I just loved that touch that was added into it and they didn’t know was going to be a part of it. Not saying that was my favorite activity,

But I love that this camp has incorporated that because God knows we all need healthy coping mechanisms and that they’re teaching it for these kids at such a young age that they can use as they develop and have with them. So that was one part of it. My favorite act.

Justin Weidenfeld (32:02.226)
Well, I want to interrupt you before we get to the fun activity. Tell me maybe tell us one coping mechanism or a couple coping mechanisms that you learned either for your own grief that your kids took away from those clinical activities that helped them navigate their grief.

Jess (32:23.628)
I think my kids were especially excited about the painting. So our mental health therapist, she read a story of different colors and what they could represent and then had the kids paint. I actually did not stay for that entire activity because I was so exhausted that I went back to the bunk to take a nap. But after the paintings are done…

think it was the next day, if not the day after, when they got them handed back, they were so excited to show me and tell me about it, what they painted. And I loved that part, them being excited to talk to me about it as well, it was special. But that was probably my favorite of the different colors and that it’s not just like each color represents something bad, something good, something scary, something exciting, whatever it may be. It has all these different types of emotions associated with it. And it was up to the kid to be able to

Express what how that color shows up in their life based off of the emotion they’re feeling

Justin Weidenfeld (33:23.42)
Wow, so what I’m hearing you say is like the kids were able to use their creative outlet like painting to show, visualize and encompass their grief or maybe their person that brought them the game.

Jess (33:39.078)
Yeah, and any of the feelings that are associated with it.

Justin Weidenfeld (33:42.576)
Of course, that’s beautiful. Wow. I’m gonna do a shameless plug here, even though you didn’t ask. My favorite clinical coping mechanism activity was we did these like rotations and one of them was dancing to music in the way you felt and like empowering your grief. So everybody was doing just like, I don’t know,

if you can see me, like crazy moves to like the song and really understanding, like using your body to exuberate and like show the feelings that you’re feeling around maybe the person that you’ve lost or how you were feeling in that moment. And I think, I don’t know how the bars are in Charlotte, but in New York and now in Florida, like I don’t really dance.

goofy, I saved my goofy dance moves for camp. And it was just another way for people to take their shields down and be truly themselves. And like, it doesn’t matter if you had the goofiest dance moves like me, or you had like, you were just walking in the circle and just like closing your eyes and listening to the music and moving. You were able to kind of

show grief in movement, which I thought was really, really, powerful. And then it ended with like a hug of yourself, but you were visualizing your person giving you a hug while closing your eyes to music. And it was just powerful.

Jess (35:09.308)
Mm -hmm.

Jess (35:24.058)
It’s all of it is, it’s so healthy and it’s so beautiful at the same time. And it, I again, unfortunately did not get to experience that as much. got the tail end of the dancing one and it was pulled right into the middle of the circle to some Latin music, but I was helping a camper out with something. So I had to step aside, but so I’m sad that I missed that part. Guess we’ll have to do it again next year.

Justin Weidenfeld (35:49.222)
have to come back next year. Yeah, no, one of the downsides of my role is kind of taking, kind of making bigger programming decisions. And sometimes I don’t get to sit in on the camper sharing circles. And unfortunately this year I wasn’t able to do the staff sharing circle, but I know it was great and powerful and really connected, like you said before.

Jess (36:12.838)
Yeah, but my favorite activity, speaking of dance, was silent disco. I mean, Justin, I don’t even know if you did Dance Marathon. I feel like you did. But I did Dance Marathon at the University of Florida, which is raising money for the Children’s Miracle Network. It’s for kids in the hospital. And I was a dancer all four years. And there is a silent disco component within that that I, not every year, but I remember like at least two of the years that I did it.

Justin Weidenfeld (36:15.602)
There we go.

Jess (36:41.436)
There was Silent Disco, so that was my first experience with Silent Disco, and to have that at camp, it’s so much fun. I have the best video of it, of everyone’s just like screaming songs, and you’re all listening to something different. There’s three stations, and you’ll walk over to someone that has a similar color as you, which means they’re listening to the same station. You’re just dancing together and singing at each other, but you can’t actually hear them, and that allows you to just express your movement in whatever way. It’s dark.

so no one can really see you. Everyone’s just having a blast. That was the most fun that I had had in a really long time. You’re just smiling ears to ears. Even all my campers were smiling. They were having, everyone, just every single person was having a great time.

Justin Weidenfeld (37:27.974)
Yeah, that’s, last year that was the biggest hit on our staff feedback survey. So I’m glad to hear that Silent Disco never fails to captivate our volunteers and our campers. I love it too. I was able to participate in that one and just running around and dancing with everybody. And I liked being on a different station than everybody else. And then like,

dancing in a completely different fashion. like, let’s say people were listening to rap or EDM and I put on like the country music station and they would just be like, what are you doing? So it was amazing. I’m glad to hear that. You loved it.

Jess (38:09.37)
Yeah, definitely favorite activity by far.

Justin Weidenfeld (38:12.782)
Is there another favorite story that you have from the week of Kim that you want to share?

Jess (38:22.832)
if there’s a favorite story, think my favorite moment was that staff sharing circle, just because of how open it was and honestly emotional. you just got to let out a good cry and then have to put it right back together. So we had to go to dinner right after. But I think it was cool that I was unexpectedly a codeine for college league and college league is like color wars. It’s like basically everyone’s divided into four teams and the first

Night or first day. I don’t even remember what it was. I had someone come up to me I knew you said like I knew you going into this camp, but I knew there was one girl from Charlotte So we met and had dinner together before camp like the Monday before we left that Saturday for camp So I knew her she came up to me and was like Jess you want to be codeine and I’m like I don’t know what this is and then my One of my co -counters from my cabin was like, my god. Yeah, you should be codeine and I’m like, okay, but

What does that mean? And they’re briefly explaining it, but just every other word they interrupts me like no, no, no, you should do it though. Like you should do it. And I was like, sure, whatever. I guess I’ll do it. So my first year, I basically an assistant coach is what it was. And I know one of the directors is like, wow, Jess, it’s your first year and you’re already Cody. Like, look at you. And I was like, I think I was voluntold to do this, but you know, we’re here. And it was a cool way to just step out.

Justin Weidenfeld (39:23.149)
Hehehehe

Jess (39:48.924)
comfort zone in a very different kind of way. And again, I went into this camp week with the expectation of I’m just going to go with the flow and sit back and observe everything and just absorb it, take it all in. And here I am being an assistant captain for a team of kids that I don’t even know. So I think that was just a funny little experience that I got to take charge in, a way, assistant charge in, but.

Justin Weidenfeld (40:16.54)
Yeah. That’s amazing. Yeah. So college league is, was also a Manitou staple when I grew up and it was one of my, it was my favorite activity as a kid, as a camper, and one of my favorite as a staff member and now program director. So what college league is, is the camp splits up into four different teams. Each team represents a college and you kind of embody what like the college mascots and

Jess (40:18.406)
Something different.

Justin Weidenfeld (40:43.386)
their persona and then each college league team is led by a dean and so that person is in charge of a fourth of the camp and they kind of put the like encourage the kids and campers to give it their all and so our teams were Iowa, NC State, UConn and Colorado and so they were really really cool schools and the dean’s job is to set the energy level to like for everybody so the fact that

you were voluntold and we prefer to volunteer people but but Jess was voluntold in this scenario to be a co -dean and set the energy of your team just goes to show the energy that you gave off as a first -year volunteer throughout like the first day and a half of camp.

Jess (41:33.362)
Thanks, I appreciate that. And my team was Yukon and we got second place, so whoop whoop, go Yukon!

Justin Weidenfeld (41:39.634)
Go Huskies. Amazing. So, all right. We talked about the frame of mind that you were going into camp. We talked about the week of camp, the activities, the fact that like there were things that came up, whether you were taking care of a camper or talking to a client that needed you even in the real world, but really able to disconnect and be fully present.

Is there anything that you would do differently or will do differently next year, which I’m super excited to hear that you’re coming back to get more out of your experience at camp?

Jess (42:22.034)
Honestly, I don’t have any regrets of how I showed up throughout the entire week. I do wish I connected more with the staff. I obviously connected with the people that I was living with for that week, but there was very little room to connect with more people outside of that. And I think part of it was during orientation. One, there’s just so much information being handed to you.

but also I just didn’t know anybody. So I didn’t know where to go. was staying with the people that I knew I was going to be with, but now that I’m a little more comfortable going into it, I do want to develop strong relationships with as many people as I can rather than sticking with the same people that I already know or that I know I’m gonna be living with, even though those are important too, but I’m also about to spend the next six days with them just straight on. that is something that I…

do wish I did better, but again, I was going into this pretty blind and was just there. I was there for the vibes. I will also say one thing that I think I did well was I’m not a runner, but almost every single day, probably not every single day, I think like three of the days that the campers were there, I would take just like 20, 30 minutes myself and go for a run and.

allowed myself to be that moment of self care, that moment of peace, like I’m doing this for me because I’m showing up for other people all the rest of this day and the next day and the day after that and so on and so forth. So I was very glad that I brought running shoes. I brought enough clothes for me to be able to go do that and that I had counselors. We had really good communication of, hey, I’m gonna go take like the next 30 minutes. I’ll shower, I’ll come meet you guys wherever. And it was very easy for.

one if not two of us to break off and go do what we needed to do and just be able to come back so that we could be our best selves for the kids and not get super aggravated with them because we’re tired and we’re stressed out.

Justin Weidenfeld (44:21.138)
Mm -hmm. Wow. I’m so glad you mentioned that because that’s huge that you were able to take time for yourself amidst this crazy jam -packed schedule week with a bunch of kids and hundreds of people on a campsite. Like, that’s incredibly impactful. So you should be able, you should definitely congratulate yourself. And I saw you on those runs, getting after it at 3 p I don’t know how you’re running miles at 3 p in Georgia, but good for you.

Jess (44:44.592)
die.

Jess (44:49.138)
I think two of the days was at 3 p like just horribly maybe one was at 2 and one was at 3 but peak afternoon heat and humidity you would just see me out there I’m like well we’re gonna sweat anyways so here we are

Justin Weidenfeld (44:53.916)
Nya.

Justin Weidenfeld (45:03.666)
Yeah, at that point, just don’t even shower. But I think also one of the things that you said was it takes time to build rapport with the entire staff. You’re getting basically dropped into a bubble with the orientation had 120 staff members that you didn’t even know yet. And you’re also living with these three, four other people.

trying to build a team inside of a team to help your campers get through the week of camp and create what we call the best week ever. And so it takes time or it takes like building chemistry within your, with your co -counselors for them to trust you and say, Hey, I got Jess’s back when she goes for a run.

I know she’ll have my back when I need to make a personal call or when I just need a break because like it’s hot and like I just went through an emotional sharing circle. You that’s a, you have to manifest that like team and that chemistry within your co -counselors. And it’s so important that, that you build that rapport. So I think in the first year you spent your time well getting to know those people that

you or co -counselors with. And then as you can continue to come back, you continue to build relationships and people see who you are and how you show up time after time, year after year, week after week. And they’ll gravitate towards you and you’ll gravitate towards them. you’ll, it’s the same as life though. It takes time. It takes time to build those deeper connections and people. like, it’s hard to make 120 new friends at once.

Jess (46:57.904)
Yeah, unrealistic too.

Justin Weidenfeld (46:58.258)
You said it, not me. So, kind of relatively closing this out, what does your week of camp and the Experience Camps community mean to you now?

Jess (47:21.82)
Might sound a little repetitive, but it’s special. I think it’s something very unique, very special, and I love that I did it. I will continue to do it. I’ll continue to talk about it, get other people to come join me. And I know that as I was approaching this week, I was talking a lot about it, of like, I’m gonna be gone for a week. Where are you going? I’m doing this. And it was inviting other people to talk about their grief immediately. So…

already had that connection with someone that I may have just met at Run Club. And she’s like, I lost my dad. I would love to know how this week goes for you. Or someone from my F45 class, she’s like, I lost my dad a couple of years ago. I want to do this. And she might be a volunteer next year. So it was just really special. It was really nice to disconnect from reality, as I said before. And at the end of the day, it was just an amazing way to be able to give back and volunteer.

take some time to do so in a way that is close to my own heart. Be a leader for these kids who have dealt with the worst kind of heartbreak, knowing that I was around their age when I also dealt with my own loss and here I am thriving. It’s showing that I am the example of you can do whatever you set your mind to. You don’t let this one tragic thing in your life define you and hold you back. Let it…

Use you to fuel you to do something better to do something bigger knowing that you learned a very tough lesson early on that life is very fragile and it can be taken away from you in a moment’s notice.

Justin Weidenfeld (48:59.986)
So what I hear from you that you’re saying is that you are a leader, you’re a role model to these younger kids and to your co -counselors because you’ve been there before, you understand what they’re going through and you’re able to show them that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Like you’re never gonna stop grieving. You’re never gonna stop.

That loss is always going to be with you, but you’re able to continue to put one foot in front of the other and make something out of your life despite this like tragedy.

Wow. So back to the financial side of this conversation at the beginning, you said you were taking a week out of your life and not making any money. Was the week out of your life where you were not making any money, was it worth it to you?

Jess (50:02.266)
of course. It’s never not going to be worth it. It’s just adjusting my financial planning for this month accordingly. And I also fully believe in the universe and that it has my back and that I was doing something good. So it’s going to support me in that endeavor. I signed a new client, I think two weeks before camp started. So that was already my message of I got you. You’re good to go take a week off and

Yeah, financially it’s just more of adjusting. I didn’t make any money last week, but or the week before I guess at the time of recording this, but I also didn’t spend any money either. So that was a good thing as well.

Justin Weidenfeld (50:41.874)
Yeah, I think the lessons and the conversations and the experience of going to this camp outweighs so much of like, and disconnecting, right? Taking time for yourself to give back to a cause that’s greater than yours and be greater than like your own life and be a role model for others. I think that’s

more valuable than anything, a lot of the things that we can do in our

Jess (51:16.668)
Yeah. It’s like someone’s life helping them in whatever way versus you having a paycheck at the end of the week. You can’t compare that.

Justin Weidenfeld (51:28.306)
can’t really compare, right? Is there, I mean, this is your podcast, I’m just facilitating, so is there anything else that you’d wanna leave the audience and fan club with as we close down this episode?

Jess (51:29.98)
Mm

Jess (51:47.236)
Yeah, I would love to talk about my takeaways. I made a social media post on this, but I want to reiterate. it was, I have a couple, maybe not all of it was mentioned in there, but for one, you never know what someone is going through or has been through. And I know I’m guilty of being so quick to judge someone. There are, there’s two counselors that I’m thinking of or two staff members, cause one wasn’t even a counselor that I’m thinking of that gorgeous,

girls like you would think they have it all that life was just handed to them on a silver platter and then On these one -on -one or even staff sharing circles. You’re hearing their stories what they’re going through what they’ve been through and you’re like, my god, I Never would have guessed that and it really just puts things into perspective that you don’t know You can’t guess you can’t just assume that someone has life handed to them. Like you don’t know what’s going on deep inside their family or their relationships and

It’s some serious stuff that I’m not gonna repeat. It’s not my business to tell, but just know that it’s some heavy things that it makes me very fortunate for my familial relations, like my sister, my mom, and how we came together after losing my dad and just hearing different stories of how other people weren’t so fortunate. So that’s one of them. You never know what someone’s going through. And then the other one is that your mental health is…

the most important thing for you to prioritize. You need to have that safe space, that support system to open up about what you’re going through or what you’ve been through. And I think coaching for me, I provide that space for my clients, but this is that next level of vulnerability that I know I don’t get with my therapist. You really only have those special connections with certain people and you need to find those people. I had a client last week have a really crappy week.

She’s a personal training client and she said, she sent me a text after our session. She’s like, I’m sorry, I was in such a mood. I’m in a funk right now, but thank you. I have to be perfect everywhere else. Thank you for letting me be flawed in front of you. And I was like, I’m glad I was able to provide that space for you. Cause I know a lot of people don’t have that. And then my third takeaway is I don’t need to be as connected to my phone as I think I need to be. Just to leave it on a little more lighthearted note.

Justin Weidenfeld (54:10.066)
Well, I’m gonna focus on the deeper ones, but yes, the phone thing is factual. Yeah, you really don’t know what people, we don’t know what people are going through. And sometimes it’s okay to ask and sometimes it’s okay to let it out. And back to the word again, vulnerable, be vulnerable around the people you trust. And it might not be experience camps for you. It might be…

another organization, but I encourage everyone to find their people, find their tribe, find their community where they can feel supported and energized and fueled to make the most out of any and all situations that life may throw your way.

Jess (54:57.222)
Yeah. So I’m going to take the mic back from you, Justin, but hope that’s okay. But I want to thank you for interviewing me on my experience. I, to the people listening, counselor applications open November 1st. You do well with referrals. If you need one from me or Justin, just reach out. We’ll be happy to connect you with the right people. And also if you just want to donate, I’m going have Justin send me the link to how.

Justin Weidenfeld (55:01.988)
Right.

Jess (55:25.51)
that in the show notes for you to be able to do so. And just donate as much or as little as you want to. It’s every dollar counts. There’s nothing that’s too small. But that was my experience at Experience Camps. I know a ton of you listening asked me about how camp went. So hopefully this episode answered all of your questions. And if you have any additional questions, feel free to shoot me an email. I’m happy to answer anything. Again, if you want to get involved in some way, check the show notes for links.

applications for new counselors are opening and they really need you. Kids need you too. Otherwise, this concludes another episode of How to 20 something. If you liked it, heard. If you know someone who would love this organization and get involved, then please share this episode. Post it on social media. Tag me at coach .justdiamond. Tag Experience Camps at Experience Camps. Tag Justin. Tag everybody when you do.

always. I can’t wait to be in your headphones again next week with another brand new episode.

Justin Weidenfeld (56:26.812)
Thanks, Jess.